Do you find it hard when your OH just wants to spend??

biglad

Got my first payment going to payplan on monday and ive budgetted quite well this month. went shopping today and i just couldnt justify buying any new clothes etc knowing i have loads i dont even wear, and there were even sales on. felt a right saddo.

the main problem was my OH just wanted to spend spend spend, then she bought loads of stuff which didnt bother me, but then she felt bad cos i never spent anything. ive finally learnt the concept of money, going the market for veg and what not. the only thing is we are trying to save for a house, but she just spends her money stupidly which i dont mind, but im trying to make her realise we need to budget. i even suggested today she get £100 out for the rest of the month to live on and thats it, not sure if it will work but still

Im on a DMP just cos all the letters and calls got to me and i got in a right mess, but im saving money by doing a bit of extra work and selling on ebay as my contribution. this board has turned me into a right tight bottom but its not a bad thing. ive managed to get her to move her CC to a 0% one , she is getting there.

just wanted a little rant really, feel good summin is finally going to be paid to my creditors at last, and the start to reducing it all now.

lynzpower

you are doing the right thing. Why buy things you dont NEED just cos the sales are on
suffice to say, if its you are anything like me, its that unneccasary spending thats got you into this spot already!

Intesting "she felt bad cos I didnt spend anything" Why? Cos she feel more comfortable when you collude with her silly behaviour?? Good for you for standing firm!!!

BrandNewDay

That would really be very hard. I'm lucky in that my OH is willing to turn all finances over to me. He doesn't even carry cash unless I give it to him. But, I suppose HE'S lucky that I don't take his money and spend it on stupid things, right?

Once the light bulb goes off, saving money is more fun than spending it. Keep trying to convince your other half that saving is the way to go. Good luck!

biglad

well lynz thats why im in debt, but am learning not to spend stupid and i think at 22 its great im learning now and not 45 when it could be too late.

when i have a treat now it will mean more to me than just spending willy nilly. ive even gave her my bank card so i cant spend it, although think i can be trusted lol. i even got a very basic bank card, cant even pay for stuff in the shops with it cos the net is where i wasted loads of money

i will be debt free in a few years and feel good that IVE paid it all off and not gone bankrupt or an IVA

HomeJames_3

I have to admit that Im probably like your OH my OH is the one thats good with money and doesnt spend spend spend it was only when I started looking at this site that I realised that I had to change and together we're starting to make that happen and tackle our mountain of debt. Introduce her to the site and encourage her to get involved Ive found it quite a challange and instead of wanting to spend Im now looking for the bargains and how to save money instead of using my plastic.

lynsayjane

i used to get quite upset at my ex. he made twice as much as me and yet never seemed to have any cash. with his wages i could have paid off my debt within months and i never could understand where all his money went, he did buy the odd major thing like bbq and garden furniture (which he left here when he moved out ) and a laptop but not enough to show where all his money went... oh well not my problem anymore toot toot :j

Jo_R_2

biglad wrote:

the main problem was my OH just wanted to spend spend spend

Welcome to my world! :rotfl:

Seriously though, you are working along the right lines. My OH is terrible with money and is a real impulse want-to-buyer and I am forever having to talk him out of picking up stuff he sees and wants but we don't really need.

What helped me with OH was making him see the long-term benefits of counting the pennies. As well as getting into good habits generally, I explained that we have a reason to save, somewhere to direct these savings to. It might take a while (we have a loan outstanding and a sofa on credit to get out of the way first) but eventually we like you want to save a deposit for a house and so that has helped him focus when we are budgeting. Also (I know this sounds basic and childish but it works!) it really helped getting him directly involved. I take care of all the finances (not sure how it works with you two) and asked him to look for a better deal on our broadband -one thing I knew he would know more about than me on what would be a better package/price. He really rose to the challenge and we have saved £17.49 per month on our combined internet and phone line payments which is pretty darn good... Would yr OH be able to get involved - moneysaving is addictive once you get into it!

Anyway good luck, it sounds like yr on the right path, hope it all continues to go well, and don't feel too badly about missing out because it all means you'll be better off in the future...

EllieB_2

Biglad - you have obviously had your "lightbulb moment" and are sorting out your debt. Your OH ain't quite there yet. No one can force her - she will in time realise that you cannot spend on the never never for always. In the meantime - try and lead by example and show her that being in control of your money is actually better and more fun then spending someone else's cash and then suffering the repayment hangover.
Until she gets it - and this is important - insist on keeping your finances completely separate from hers and do not, repeat, do not, sign any joint loans or credit agreements. When you have spare money and she doesn't cos she is paying back her credit agreements she may see the light. And if not at least you will not be in debt because of your OH's spending. E.xx