How to have a brilliant time without seeming tight all the time??

BankFree

Hi Everyone,

I just wondered if there were people out there that had a really, really limited budget? I have currently done myself a budget planner and after bills etc I am left with £4.80 a day? I started the daily budget on January 1st and last week went well as the only time I spent any money was meeting up with friends which then turned into dinner and a £30 spend but I was still left with £3.60.

I love all my friends to bits, each and everyone of them is fantastic in their own special way but due to moving from Norfolk to Hertfordshire, going to university, changing jobs a few times my groups of friends are now soooo different that I think the only time they have ever all been together (or more than 2 groups at a time) was our wedding two years ago. This is not really a problem as it just means I have to allocate my time really effectively so I can see everyone but then it comes to meeting up and everyone is like 'oh lets go out' which I always budget for (pub £20) but then it turns in to 'what about some dinner will be lovely to catch up' (£30 at least because I always meet up late and then everyone is hungry and wants to eat 3 courses) 'are you bringing your hubby?' (Extra £30 for dinner, which he obviously pays for but in the end it's all the same thing when you have a joint account!!) 'I know this new place that's just opened up...' (at least £6 even for a beer)


This even happens with local friends who I see on a fairly regular basis because I find myself in a constant cycle of catching up with friends by going to see them, then not seeing local friends for ages and then they want to go out 'properly' which doesn't just mean local pub £20, means go into town 'nice' pub expensive drinks and then 'ohh I'm hungry.' (Drunken curry £30)

Sorry I sound like I'm moaning, it's just even when you explain your broke, on a budget, saving up I really believe people just think that means on the day they spoke to you because you can guarantee within two weeks they will be asking you to do something that;
a) costs money to get to.
b)costs money to get in.
c) involves buying some new clothes (fancy dress=hours and hours charity shop hunting which often ends fruitlessly)
d) will cost even more while your there.

Is it just me? Can anyone help? It doesn't help that we currently live in a studio flat to save money so inviting people for dinner where they would ahve to dine on our bed is kinda a no-no.:eek:

Any/tips/advice would be fab.

(Oh and I am 27 and have currently been leading a frugal life... forever.
I already, constantly switch balances on cards to achieve 0%, do a meal planner (currently spend £30 per week for 2 people,) started cycling to work last year (5 miles up hills each way!!) have sold anything I don't use regularly that is not nailed down on ebay, use quidco for everything and punish myself for days if I forget to check mysupermarket before I go shopping, have switched off storage heaters and use a timer controlled oil filled radiator and have even started taking card board cut offs and old boxes home from work to use as packaging and for homemade gifts.)

dalleDF

Hi BF! I can totally relate to this. When you say you're broke, people never understand that it actually does mean broke, so £20 or £30 on a night out is just not an option.

My friends and I have started going for tea and cakes rather than to the pub, so meeting on weekend afternoons rather than in the evenings. It's more civilised because you're not getting !!!!ed, it costs a few quid rather than £30, and you can have a proper chat. And it won't turn into an impromptu curry. Could you have people round for movie and popcorn nights rather than dinner at yours? Or have a 'potlatch' at someone else's house where you each bring a dish along.

Don't feel you have to say yes to every invitation, although I know it's hard because you obviously want to see your friends. But I'm sure if they really understood your situation they would rather you decline invitations than stretch yourself too much financially and end up struggling. Put your foot down and tell them if they want to spend time with you they have to make allowances for your budget and come with you to some free events instead (there are so many! Check Time Out). Good luck!

Meenu

Also well done on your self discilpine

BankFree

Ah thank you for your replies, going for tea and cakes sounds like a fab idea !! I was so nervous about using this forum as I have never posted anything on a forum ever before! I will keep you updated, got a friends 30th birthday this weekend which is James Bond theme but luckily a dress I brought last year in the sales for £20 reduced from £140 will be perfect and was as if it was meant to be because I tried to sell it on Ebay last month and it didn't sell!

sandiep

Invite them over to yours. Have a bring a bottle party. Suggest that maybe you rotate the evenings at eachother's houses. Perhaps suggest theme nights so they still have that "party" atmosphere.

Birdie85

I think that the tea and cakes idea is a good one! You could even suggest having some kind of cake club so you have it at your flat (or your friend's) and you have to all bake a cake to see who's best. Bit of friendly competition and money saving!

It is difficult having friends who don't get the concept that you don't really have £30 to spend on a night out. I was out shopping with my friend a couple of weeks ago (I bought nothing!) who was telling me how broke she is and she's going to stick to a budget... and she bought a dress, a jacket, tights, jewellery etc and then hassled me into going out 'for a drink' so she could wear her new clothes! I am determined to put my foot down with a firm hand this year, I have a perfectly good flat in the centre of town and I've found that the shop around the corner from me does a really nice bottle of wine for £3.99 and we can talk without being interrupted!

Also, well done on living such a good, frugal life! You must be super fit after all that biking!

Poorbuthappy55

There's always Weatherspoons where you can get a main course for £2.99 and there is usually a bottle of wine for £5.99. Not fine dining I know but not always a budget breaker.

I went out with a friend the other night and spent less than £10. A gin & tonic and white wine spritzer £3.85!

I also like tea and cakes idea.

Good luck!

BankFree

I thank everyone for ideas, specially like Weatherspoons as they do veggie stuff too :-) Well I have had another no spend day today which means I will hopefully at least be able to buy one drink on Saturday night!! Not drinking mid week and have nearly made it... One more night to go!
Have just had delivered the best shop ever, Asda Total £52 Savings £52!!! Is it sad that having one over on big corporations makes me this happy??
Am going sale shopping/looking tonight and will desperately try to only buy investments, i.e. jeans for £2.50 which will last for 10 years, not pretty dress which Ill never wear and cost £30!!
Quote of the day:
Me to colleague at work, 'I didn't think you noticed I had dyed my hair, you didn't say anything after the xmas break.'
Colleague: 'That's because I'm honest and I thought it looked awful, so I didn't say anything. Now it's washed out a bit it looks alright... and at least you know I'm being honest.'

I prefer dishonesty I think...

BankFree

Went sale shopping yesterday and was really excited because I haven't gone yet at all... all the shops were shut!!! So I have taken this as a sign from the higher shopping powers that I must not sale shop this year!! Maybe they know my full to bursting wardrobe of 'essentials' would just explode if even one more item was delicately wedged into it. Looking forward to the party on Saturday if I have a no spend day today I will have nearly £30!!

I have had to start thinking ahead with my budget and my friends wedding in October is looming (it's in turkey!) I have already booked my hotel room and got it fairly cheap but now I need to start thinking about flights... Its October half term :-( does anyone know if easyjet ever do cheap tickets during school hols?? They fly to Turkey and I was wondering if I wait whether they might have a sale...

BankFree

Why does wearing a posh dress make you feel like an idiot?? I always moan about never getting the opportunity to a wear a nice frock and the one time I do, aka James Bond party, this happens:

try to paint my nails last minute and get nail varnish over dress and generally mess them up so it looks like a 5 year old did it.

Try to get out of the car stand on the end of my long dress and rip it.

Get a glass of wine spilt down one side of my dress so it looks like my nipple has started lactating.

Oh well at least I didn't have to buy the dress (got it for a wedding last year) and despite spending a lot of (planned) money on a limo, ended up coming home with £30!! Not sure how as I'm pretty sure I only had £30 to start with but Im not complaining!!

At the party found out it is another friends 30th on Monday so meant to be organising a suprise party for him so that will soon see the £30 eaten up!!

I'm looking forward to a break from weddings next year too as nearly everyone we know is married now!! Love going to them, last year we had 5 and what with the stag/hen parties, pressies, staying over etc it all adds up... trying to think of fun ways to not make the hubbies birthday spiral otu of control but still be cheap, because there will be about 30 of us thought going to a set price buffet was best as at least everyone would just have to pay the same price!! Then thought about doing some challenges around teh city, putting people in teams etc while we go on a pub crawl...

longhotbath

Hi Bankfree - dont forget freecycle for fancy dress!

Love the cake party type idea - we did cookies too. You could try a jewellery making evening. Buy some findings, and threads online or at a craft/fabric shop and get your friends to bring along their unloved stuff and revamp it. We find it great fun!

You might find that if asked under influence of truth drugs, that you friends have huge credit card debts with all the meals out, and that it takes just one person (you!) to break the habit and think outside the box.

Breakfasts out are great fun at the weekend too and can be a great way to catch up, and meet up to go tobagganing (bring hot choc or soup in flasks), picnics (and all bring a dish), or a walk really pretty, visit a free museum or art gallery and coffee (only!) afterwards.