depression

notakid

Hi
My sister had very bad depression dianozed about 7 years ago. Real problems with work not being very understanding, She had just got married and really this should have been the time she was happiest but thats when she found she couldn't cope anymore. She had a crying jag at work and then after a couple of months she returned the same happened. She was off work a long time and was taking anti depress, councilling and two breakdowns. She couldn't see the wood for the trees, couldn't get up in the mornings or do anything. She was on prosac but it made her want to kill herself so the doctor changed the tablets.
Looking back the signs where always there, she is the type which always sees the glass half empty where I suppose I'm the half full type but she's not a moaner and has always solidered on.
7 years later.....she is still married with a lovely baby girl and is off the tablets, and loving her job (the same one) I'm not saying it will not return as I have learnt alot about this disease from her and know now it can happen anytime to anyone but fingers crossed.
Good luck and there is a light at the end of the tunnel, 'cos I never thought my sister would be okay again.

tankgirl1

thanks for all your replys guys - its good to know im not the only one!!

if you havent experienced depression, i think its difficult to understand it. ive lost a relationship, and a job to it. my family all think its just a case of 'thinking positive, and pulling my socks up'.

it isnt though.

perhaps we could all help each other - i think posting on here, and knowing other people are going through the same thing really helps.

oh, and for what its worth- i havent been out today yet, and am still in my pj's

astonsmummy

Gosh i always felt like i was the only one!
was diagnosed with clinicall dpression aged 14 ( was suffering long before), i was put on amitryiptiline then, cant actually remeber much about back then. i used to see a child psychiatrist but it didnt really help as she was in her late 50's and probably had no idea wat life was like for a 14 year old at that time, also i couldnt really say wat i wanted to.
Have basically been depressed eversince, (it didnt help having a contolling boyfriend who loved to play mind games and a narcisistic father!)
Have always had disturbed sleep - apparently due to depression, and i'm forver tired, i have had the 'black' periods and suicidal thoughts, even cut myself wen i was younger- not very often tho, only if i had a really bad blolw out.
Then in july 2003 i met DS father and thought finally my life was getting better and going somewhere - how wrong was i?!
I fell pregnant a few months later, he cheated and gave me the clap, i found out 2 days after xmas he had a daughter (she was born on that day) and then in the february 2004 he left me, and for 2 months told me he was coming back and he never did.
I then found out he cheated on me practiaclly from day one and had left me for someone else.

I cried every day for the rest of my pregnancy and beyond, during which time my so called cousin would tell me about girls he had been with etc... little did i know one of them was her! (found that out wen spud was 8 weeks old, the day before my birthday)

At 31 weeks pregnant i went into premature labour and spent 5 days in hospital on a drip, then wen i was 37 weeks i went into labour and ended up having to have a c-section which gets to me even now - also just afet i came out of the operating theatre my father threatened to kill me and my mum - i was numb from the neck down and petrefied! I couldnt even hold my baby properly for a few hours.
2 days later DS father told me he was moving in with his gf - the one he left me for (little did i know they had been living together since the day he left)

was feeling quite down but not too bad until 4 months after DS was born i had a phone call to tell me his father had just had a son born, by the one he left me for which means he got her pregnant while we was together! well that knocked me for 6!
I plodded along for another few months then one day very bad day took an obverdose, and completely rejected DS, my mum had to take time off work to look after him. i couldnt even bear to be around him - ( feel eternally guilty for that)
Then i knew i had to sort myself out, i started going to mother and baby group to make new friends and things started picking up, i also moved to be nearer my mum and family.
I didnt want to go on anti depressants as i had a bit of a speed habit before so i didnt want to become dependant.
Now i still get down somethimes but i'm nowhere near as bad as before, i have made lots of new friends and even got back in touch with some old school friends. I go out on the weekends and so i get a break, went to butlins for a weekend last sept, it was the longest time i have ever spent away from spud but it done me the world of good.

I dont really talk about all this stuff as i think people will just think i'm moaning, just want to say thanx to everone who has posted as i now realise i'm not on my own!!

astonsmummy

tankgirl1 wrote:

thanks for all your replys guys - its good to know im not the only one!!

if you havent experienced depression, i think its difficult to understand it. ive lost a relationship, and a job to it. my family all think its just a case of 'thinking positive, and pulling my socks up'.

it isnt though.

perhaps we could all help each other - i think posting on here, and knowing other people are going through the same thing really helps.

oh, and for what its worth- i havent been out today yet, and am still in my pj's

Same here! thnx for posting in the first place hun xx

iwanttosave_2

tankgirl1 wrote:

thanks for all your replys guys - its good to know im not the only one!!

if you havent experienced depression, i think its difficult to understand it. ive lost a relationship, and a job to it. my family all think its just a case of 'thinking positive, and pulling my socks up'.

it isnt though.

perhaps we could all help each other - i think posting on here, and knowing other people are going through the same thing really helps.

oh, and for what its worth- i havent been out today yet, and am still in my pj's

I only got dressed because someone came round

Why si it you cant sleep when you need to but you are so sleepy when you have to stay awake :rolleyes: I am soooo sleepy now and trying my hardest to stay awake. I have to go into town today to pay the last of the money on the holiday but I just dont have the energy, I wanna curl up and go to sleep but I cant because it will make it harder for me to sleep tonight. :mad:

black_pudding_2

Suffered from depression myself for a while and was on Ciprofen (I think they were called that).
Slowly but surly I got over it.
But, you have to want to get out of the rut. I had to force myself to go out and to mix with people.

Now I couldn't be better - not on any medication at all and enjoying life

frostyspice

tankgirl1, you are not alone, but I believe there is light at the end of the tunnel - it's just sometimes that the tunnel is a very long one.

I was diagnosed with depression in 1992, was in and out of psychiatric wards for a couple of years and tried all sorts of anti-depressants, but I'd say that by the end of 1999 I was more or less sorted. This was as a result of Citalopram (a lifesaver for me with the fewest side-effects I've known from any drug) and 5 years of NHS psychotherapy (also a lifesaver).

I'm still on the citalopram and happy to take it indefinitely although it did take me 8 months to come off it to start a family. These drugs are not addictive in the sense that you need more and more of it to feel OK, it's just that the brain doesn't like to suddenly have to do without what it is used to.

I wouldn't wish depression on anyone, it's awful and is a destroyer of lives, including those around the sufferer. I'll never forget what it felt like. It basically wiped out my twenties and stopped my career in its tracks. I've had to come to terms with a life that has been changed because of my illness - but so do lots of people.

No one with depression wants to feel that way. I would say though, that I believe what my psychologist said to me about labelling yourself. Don't think of yourself as a depressive, think of yourself as a person who happens to have an illness which is depression. Too often we let depression define us ("that's what I am, I'll always be like this") and it means that you don't know what to do with yourself when the depression lifts. You can't do a lot of things when you're depressed, but when you feel better you're still scared of doing them because you're out of practice!

Lower your standards and don't be so hard on yourself. So what if you're still in your pyjamas? You're seeking help and support from these boards, and that's good for you in the long term. I reckon that means that you will make it.

Keep posting.

newfoundglory

Danni wrote:

paroxetine (Prozac)

Actually, Paroxetine is not generic Prozac...Its generic Seroxat/Paxil. Fluoxetine is the generic name for Prozac

Well i had some bad depression too... i'm not going into details, i'm sure like many of us there are many reasons. But i had this for many years, before i finally went to see my GP about 6 months ago. Came out with Fluoxetine which worked wonders for me in about 2 weeks. I remember once, i had stopped taking it for about 2 or 3 days, i felt like total crap. Suicidal. I had mentally hit a brick wall. In fact, i have kept a whole blog of how i have felt of the last year and some of the things i wrote are quite worrying! But i feel fine now.

I had a hard time accepting that i might be depressed, but the fact the drugs worked so well must mean i was!

I always assumed i could cope with the depression, but not sleeping at night runs you down and drains you until you have nothing left to give. I'd worry so much about EVERYTHING, that it made me ill. A good nights sleep works for me usually.

For those who are severely depressed, who in particular have trouble sleeping, you might want to ask your GP another another anti-depressant called Mirtazapine. Its not an SSRI, and its more powerful.... you take it at night, and it kicks in after about 90mins to 2 hours.

micheleen

One of nice things I found with Mirtazapine, is that the lower the dose, the better I slept. Though 'sleep' is a relative term since I was still drinking heavily every day (and night) :rolleyes:

rubytuesday

I had postpeuperal psychosis/depression after both my children, in hospital for months, then two years ago became ill again out of the blue and spent three months in the Priory. Was very depressed for a long time also developed chronic fatigue/fibromyalgia. All I did was sleep for months. I was referred to the Homeopathic hospital which was helpful but I believe the most helpful think has been excecise (I got my bike out of the cellar and fixed it up after 7 years) and keeping busy. I am doing an extra day at work now, often go to the library and get different books out to my normal choice.Have also started listening to radio 4 again and playing music loudly when I'm in the house alone. Usually prefer complete silence! Sorry if all this sound rather simplistic but it has diffenately worked for me.
Good Luck xxx