the update

elantan

well today was the day i told the family ..that's it we need to talk:eek: i sat them down and explained the whole situation showed them all the figures etc and asked for help in solving the problems ..the son has agred to give up singing lessons saving £20 a month:j but did aske that he kept his £5 a week to see g/f ..now i know i shouldve said no ...but really were not struggling to pay the bills yet ... and he does'nt get any pocket money etc so i thought it only fair ..(he did understand and said if he really had to go without he would but could he get it if we could give him it) the husband has agreed to cut the drink total from £40 a month to £20, and the take aways are down to £50 so progress is happening..for which i am thankful to my family for :T :T :T ..we will now be under budget every month (till i go to college) and will save the money into a piggy bank to pay off the overdraft when we have saved enough up ..now this piggy bank idea i got from someone in the mortgage free web site ..it's a fantastic idea and i recomend you all try it ..knowing my family i have also came up with a contigency plan i'm having two banks ..one piggy for the debt one teramundi for hols (trying the carrot and stick approach here) ..so there you have it an update from friday ..more was said and achieved and i will tell you all about it as it transpires..thanks again for everyones help :A :A you are all angels in disguise..sorry this is long again

elantan

sorry meant to add it has also been decided that these meeting will take place monthly today i feel such a weight lifted off of my shoulders

CosmoCat

well done

i think it's a brilliant idea to have family meetings and get everyone involved in the financial planning for the family.

you're doing so well
all the best

newleaf

That's a great start, well done! And now it's 'our' problem not 'my' problem. Did you broach the subject of dig money with nephew?

kathfisch

elantan,
I haven't read of your situation before but I wanted to say well done, it sounds like the discussions you had were not easy but definitely turned out positive!

I agree with melabarrie, its a great idea to have family meetings. There are many on here who regret that they were never taught about financial management, so you are doing your kids a favour as well as helping your own situation!

Best of luck,

Kath

elantan

thanks again for the support ,new leaf i really wish i can tell you i did but the nephew wasn't home (working) however did talk to family re. situation with nephew a few ideas have been kicked around regarding it all ..i think it's me that's having the biggest trouble with this one to be truthfull.. hubby son and nephew are away to ju-jit-su just now (i still can't go due to accident boo hoo) then they are going out for pizza but will deff get to talk to him this week ..was thinking and all advice is needed and appreciated ..how do i go about it ? i just feel so uncomfortable about it as he really does so much already and we rarely see him some times (due to work and youth club stuff)

newleaf

I guess you just have to be very honest with him about the financial situation you're in, and ask him how he thinks he could help? Is he your nephew or your hubby's? Perhaps your OH would be prepared to talk to him? Or make sure you hold your next conference at a time when nephew can be present and see the figures, and what everyone else is doing, for himself. I can't see him being unreasonable about it - where else is he going to get free board & lodgings?

Broken_hearted

I would love to have monthly meetings, OH just lets me get on with it and the kids are too young. Oldest spent his pocket money then asked for more.

elantan

thanks new leaf think that will help ..now this is where it gets kinda complicated ..so please bear with ...22 years ago my hubby lived with his mother and father ..next door to them was nephew (as we call him) brother and mum ..mum was a single mum with two kids so hubby's mum and dad helped out alot with the family now 22 years on everyone lives in different houses single mum is still single but has two girls aswell..nephew had reall problems at home with mum( i can fully understand the reasons why he did but don't want to wash his dirty laundry) so as hubby's mum and dad are no longer well ..we said that's it your coming to stay with us and he's been here ever since (about 8 years on and off kept trying back at his mums but didn't work ) has lived with us full time for 5 years now and actually he gets on alot better with his mum so officially he's not our nephew but for ease for everyone we call him nephew ...i say he's my son i never birthed and his labour was so easy..wish my kid's labour was as easy..hopes that clears it up a bit ..

newleaf

Yes, I see. I would imagine he is really grateful to you both for opening your home to him, and now he needs to make a little contribution as circumstances have altered. Tell him how thankful you are for all the practical help he gives you, but things have got really tight now and you need a small, regular financial contribition from him to get things back on track and to help pay the bills etc. The alternative will be to have to start doing without certain things... You get the drift? If you really feel uncomfortable then ask hubby to be with you when you have this talk.

elantan

i will ..probably when i do he will be like ofcourse no probs...as i said it's only me who seems to have a problem hubby and son say (and i agree) he's part of the family (son thinks of him as a big bro ...they really are close like brothers ..but boy they can fall out as well) and should be involved after all he will reap the benefits when we succeed in respect of the teramundi idea especially..i'm just being stupid ..friday night was a kick up the butt for me and this will be my second kick ..thanks