After 17 years the csa have sent me a cheque

jeanmd

Today I received a brown envelope with a cheque for a small amount in. No other communication whatsoever. So being an mser I googled the address on the back and it came up with the csa.
No explanation, no letter beforehand saying they are looking into the case again, nothing. I've just spoke to someone from the Belfast office, she said they are re-opening old cases and were taking the money by force from him. Surely somewhere along the line they could have contacted me. I have remarried and they managed to find me through my national insurance number.

I find this very worrying as my DD's natural father has never paid a penny to her. When I tried to get csa years back he ignored them, they eventually sent someone round to see him and he was physically abusive towards them. The csa dropped the case as they felt they couldn't put their staff in danger.

We haven't had an contact with him since DD was 9/10 after a lot of major problems with DD we found out she had very good reasons for not wanting to see him. So everything was quiet, no contact - no trouble. After we got her some professional help life had got back on track and DD's doing very well.

For the 1st time in years I feel sick, shaky, and tearful. There is no way this man is going to pay money out without finding out where we live and causing trouble. I have turned down the money because there is no way I can put us at risk.
So if you have an old outstanding csa claim I would advise you contacted them and check if it's being looked at.
Sorry for the rant I know most people would be happy to get csa.

DUTR

Congratulations on getting some payment, to be fair if the man was a maniac and out to get you, he would have found you already, stop worrying, enjoy x

DX2

When you spoke to the Belfast office today did you tell them to close your case asap?

jeanmd

DUTR wrote: »

Congratulations on getting some payment, to be fair if the man was a maniac and out to get you, he would have found you already, stop worrying, enjoy x

It's not that I worry he's out to get me. It's the fact DD had to go through a lot therapy and other things to get over what he did to her. Sometimes money isn't everything. But I see where you're coming from in normal circumstances.

DX2 wrote: »

When you spoke to the Belfast office today did you tell them to close your case asap?

Thank you, she said she would put a stop to the payments but i'm not sure if that ment they would close the case. Maybe I should phone back and check.

DX2

Yes phone back and make sure you tell them to close your case and you want it in writing.

DUTR

jeanmd wrote: »

It's not that I worry he's out to get me. It's the fact DD had to go through a lot therapy and other things to get over what he did to her. Sometimes money isn't everything. But I see where you're coming from in normal circumstances.

Different things affect different people in different ways, cos of some of the accusations laid against blokes I would not fight to see my child, however by not fighting to see them we are still deemed as bad, so we can't win in any instance, my niece used to nag me about not seeing my child , she was quite upset as she 'is that child' , so she may have had therapy too but for different reasons

But yes I agree money isn't everything and I know I have annoyed the hell out of some of the regulars here by just being a pay and go person

kelloggs36

He won't have access to your address.

jeanmd

DUTR wrote: »

Different things affect different people in different ways, cos of some of the accusations laid against blokes I would not fight to see my child, however by not fighting to see them we are still deemed as bad, so we can't win in any instance, my niece used to nag me about not seeing my child , she was quite upset as she 'is that child' , so she may have had therapy too but for different reasons

But yes I agree money isn't everything and I know I have annoyed the hell out of some of the regulars here by just being a pay and go person

I strongly believe fathers have as much rights as a mother. My first husband has had constant contact with my DS's (all now grown up) and money was not an issue with either of us. I also have a DS who had to fight to see his children when he split with his wife, so I can see both sides.
Everyone has a story to tell and everyone of them would be different in some shape or form.
I do think that the csa should have had contact with me before just going ahead after so may years.

pd001

kelloggs36 wrote: »

He won't have access to your address.

That should read....he shouldn't be able to gain access to any of your personal information.

The csa can and often do make mistakes.
They forgot to blank out some of my ex spouses information when I applied for my personal files and hey presto, as if by magic, I found out where my ex lives (amongst a tiny bit of other stuff).

kelloggs36 and maybe LG?...if I remember correctly didn't one of you get information that maybe you shouldn't have from the csa.
I apologise if I am mistaken here and I will edit accordingly if I am wrong.