Upset

mum2many

8pnoodles wrote:

It's the grief I get from everyone else in the office that's going to upset me. They always whinge and call me antisocial when I say I can't come out to play and it's embarrassing to explain that even though I will have just been paid, no I can't afford to go out. Explaining I can't even afford to get bloke a birthday present might get them on side a bit. I think they just don't understand having no money.

totally understand how you feel.

My hubby ws invited to a stag do in March by a bloke at work.It wasnt just a night out boozing, it was a full weekend.they would travel to scotland friday and go out for a meal/boozing, saturday was outdoor pursuits, quad bikes etc then off to more pubs and a strip club, sunday was more boozing and coming home.Grand total of £600+
Most that went had no kids or older kids that had left home with a partner earning the same as them.
we have 4 kids and i earn a pittance as a childminder.
He got called tight too

I would save every penny I could for camping, have fun, we spent our honeymoon camping in wales

8pnoodles

Makes you wonder how many people are using their overdraft to go to stuff like this. That's the thing, I have a big shiny £500 overdraft but I'm fighting desperately this month not to use it. But it's so tempting.

The scary bit is I'm 30, two of my work colleagues are sickeningly going on about buying houses at the moment, one is about to put an offer in and she's only 22! It's so scary! I'm nowhere near to buying a house, and it's dead expensive round here (Wiltshire) so I don't know how she can afford it, her bloke must make a mint cos she's on the same wage as me! Depressing...

DrEvil_2

Hi 8pNoodles

I wouldn't worry about people not coming to the wedding. People who want to come, will come. They're not going to pull out because you didn't go to a work outing.
We got married last year, and had the same worries about people not coming. All that worry was for nothing. The people who mattered came. Put yourself in their shoes, would you refuse to go to a wedding because they didn't go out much?

My wife and I went away a couple of months before our wedding to chill out, and spend time together, and to remind ourselves why we were getting married. It's great to get away from the stress of getting married.
Go camping! Take some massage oils, relax and have fun.

This year is all about you, your husband to-be and your wedding. People should understand.

When someone makes a comment at work. Would it work if you agreed with them by saying "I know. It's really frustrating that I can't go. I've just gotta get through this wedding thing"?

lazy&indebt

Do not compare yourself to other people, so the 22 year old girl at work is about to buy a house. So what? it's a great thing to do but there are more important things in life. One thing all this money saving and penny pinching for me is to teach me to not be materialistic.

Well done also for not letting other people talk you into using money you don't have (overdraft) and do not let them bully you into spending this money to go on nights out. If they are funny with you because you can't afford to go out then s*d them. You have your best friend and you have your fiance and that is all that matters.

Don't worry though. Your money problems will not last forever and when they are over, you will be glad you did it. I know I will be.

Chin up xx

Useless_2

Hi 8pnoodles,
I'm getting married in sept as well and I just received our wedding rings today, they are valued at £1235 and we only paid £585 for them so do have a look at these guys, they have an ebay shop but I just emailed them with the specifics of what ring I wanted and he made them for me they are absolutely beautiful and were madly cheap!!

http://stores.ebay.co.uk/No1-Rock-Avenue

and the email address is:

no1rockavenue@aol.com

I hope it helps,Good luck!!!

Floss

Don't let other people's opinions upset you - they probably have HUGE debts & haven't had their LBM yet, that's how they can go out & spend money like water!

Just think, in 3 months time, when you are happily married and through your sticky financial patch, you won't need to worry about whether people will come to your celebration. You can sit & look at the photos of everyone (including you 2) enjoying the party.

Hugs & keep your chin up
Floss xx

tesuhoha

They will probably want to come anyway, irrespective of office leaving dos. People love a wedding and are flattered to be asked, especially by you who doesnt socialise very much with them. Its a bit different, after all when you compare a wedding and a leaving party.

In_Search_Of_Me

Just wanted to send a hug...as OP have said...true friends will understand although you & your mate spend alot on each other! I consider myself generous but dont spend that much!! Have a good weekend and just try & ignore the comments from work...if you cant afford to go you cant afford to go...mucg better not to & as for people spending 600 on stag weekends etc...mad!