A quick question

jmt11

I have been paying directly to my ex for a while now which was originally sorted out by the csa. I found out recently how little our child actually stays with my ex, he seems to be at his grand parents every weekend and pretty much all the school holidays. would the csa be interested in hearing about this considering the money i pay is probably not being spent on my child?

13Kent

I doubt it - even if you were paying via CSA as far as they are concerned once the money has been paid it's up to the PWC what they spend it on.

My advice would be pay via CSA anyway - do you have proof that you have paid the PWC anything? Otherwise she could tell the CSA you have paid nothing and you will get lumbered with a load of arrears.

DUTR

As above, it is no point trying to fight the ex or the csa , you will always lose, keep your head high knowing you have contributed where necessary.

jmt11

I thought as much.
its just frustrating that i play the game and my ex does what ever my ex wants!!

Loopy_Girl

Do you ever have the child overnight? If so your payments could reduce because of that.

jmt11

no, due to the vindictive jealous nature of my ex i hardly get to see my son let alone have him over night!

PlayingHardball

jmt11 wrote: »

no, due to the vindictive jealous nature of my ex i hardly get to see my son let alone have him over night!

How so? Do you live far away from your child? What have you done to ensure contact?

speedster

PlayingHardball wrote: »

How so? Do you live far away from your child? What have you done to ensure contact?

quite easily i'm afraid.

sounds like the poor bloke has an ex with "ownership" issues and no doubt she also says he's "lucky" he's "allowed" contact at all.

throw in a massively feminine biased court system and it's hardly any wonder why such a high % of nrp's end up estranged from their children.

the laws are balancing out and over 95% of contact applications are sucessful, but there is still a LONG way to go to ensuring men get equal parenting rights and good contact after separation.

Loopy_Girl

With all due respect, since you have no contact with your ex then you have no proof that she is perhaps giving her parents money when your son is there.

jmt11

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

With all due respect, since you have no contact with your ex then you have no proof that she is perhaps giving her parents money when your son is there.

You're absolutely right, i have no proof but there is no way she is giving her parents money more like the other way round. thanks for the advice guys but i think i should just leave this situation as it is!!
Hopefully when my sons old enough, he'll work the situation out for himself