Working towards being debt free

Toto

I guess I'm just feeling a bit tired, worked 40 hours over the weekend in 2 days and today apart from popping in here every couple of hours or so I have been hard at it since 7 am.

I turned down a remortgage today, a good deal, saving me a bit of cash, but more debt all the same. So, I said thanks but no. 2 weeks ago I would have bitten their hands off. Funny how we can change so much so quickly.

I just have the jitters today, I was always good at moving, never stayed in one place too long and actually I always said I never liked this house. So I've no idea why I've been here 6 years. But today for the first time it felt like home, now I am working to get it sold. And the whole plan seems, scary.

So, I've tried not to think about it too much and just said I am being silly, but I am worrying about all sorts of really stupid things. Like what if the neighbours are horrible in the rented house? I mean who cares? They aren't exactly the 'basket of muffins' type here. What if my handicapped daughter is really sad because she doesn't have any real garden, just a tiny patio area? I guess it's just a bit of fear of change going on and it will pass.

On a good note. My ebay items sold loads over the weekend, I have made £238. I just listed 20 more dvds today and have another 30 or so to list tomorrow. So I already have £500 heading into my fund to get the house on the market.

pounds_and_pensive

Your situation strikes a chord with me. We've just sold this house to clear our debts - the sale is expected to complete in around two weeks, after which, we'll be renting. Unlike you, I've always loved my house (though I've no idea why, because we've never been happy here) and the prospect of things coming to this has been heartbreaking. Apart from six months planned renting between two mortgages once, I've been a homeowner since I was twenty-one (I'm nearly forty-two now) and the thought of anything less feels like insecurity of the highest order. I'm well aware that at my age I'm unlikely to be able to save an adequate deposit and get another mortgage again unless current circumstances improve dramatically, and I'm also trying not to feel bitter because my husband was responsible for the majority of our debts and I'm likely to be looking at single parent-hood in the near future - despite everything, there's no sign of him having had a 'light-bulb moment' yet, and I've no intention of going through anything like this ever again.

However, when the thoughts of horrible neighbours in the rented house hit (I'm getting these thoughts too ) I tell myself that at least I can up and leave a rented house at the end of the tenancy and find something else a lot quicker than the time spent having a house hanging around on the market when there are horrible neighbours. The 'tiny garden' thoughts are harder to overcome, but I tell myself that I will have more time to do things like take my kids to the park etc when I no longer have to knock myself out every minute of the day trying to bring money in, and the kids will be more relaxed and happy for not having a mother that dreads every envelope that drops through the letterbox, or a father that refuses to answer the door or have the 'phone plugged in for months on end for fear of answering to someone he owes money to.

I fear change too, not just for me but for my kids. For my three year-old, who's never known a night's sleep in a room other than the one she happily trots off to up the stairs everynight, and for my thirteen year-old, who can spend hours dreaming up colour schemes for when we've got the money to paint her room but will never be able to paint her walls now because they'll always be someone else's. They'll get used to the new order though, and will at long last experience the delight that comes with learning of the concept of 'spare cash' (*gasp! ) even if it doesn't amount to much more than a couple of quid a week. Mostly though, they'll learn about the magical things mothers can do with the appearance of the equally unheard of 'spare time' - kids can be loved and cuddled ten times as much in two minutes as they can in one

Sure, there are drawbacks, but there are a lot of plus points too. We'll get by, and so will you

pandaonmyshoulder

pounds_and_pensive wrote:

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and for my thirteen year-old, who can spend hours dreaming up colour schemes for when we've got the money to paint her room but will never be able to paint her walls now because they'll always be someone else's. /QUOTE]

Some landlords (my brother for one) will let tennants paint and a few other bits and bobs, after all, even though the house is rented it's still home to the tennant.

Toto

Thanks pounds, you helped a lot with your post. I wish you weren't having to make this choice. It makes perfect financial sense for me to sell, but like you I have been a home owner since I was 20. So I do have a little sense of failure I guess going on. A lot of how I am feeling is burden of responsibility, ultimately I have made this decision for my family on my own and if it does go wrong then I am to blame. But I have to stand by what I know is right, we have a stupid high IO mortgage and the rental will save us £850 a month plus I will be debt free. So it's a no brainer really. But I do feel suddenly attached to this dumb house.

Hopefully you will be able to see the light when you do sell and become debt free. Will you have any equity left at all? Could you try full and finals with your creditors? I don't know what stage your debts are at. But perhaps if you had a little money left over in savings towards a new deposit that would help you feel better, you could then save each month some of the money you have been paying creditors and someday be able to buy again. I do feel for you though.

Do know you aren't going through this alone and you are right, time spent with your kids is far more precious than any amount of property owned. Kids couldn't care less who's name is on a title deed, they care about who is at home relaxed happy and has time to give to them. Your kids will one day look back and realise the sacrifices you have made in order to give them a decent childhood and they will love and respect you all the more for it.

Thanks for cheering me up.

x

lynzpower

toto

You know I agree with you completely on this one.

dont get attached to it, is it really much more than this

Toto

:rotfl: looks a little like my house right now too, only that one is tidier!!

dinkylou

Yep,

Are you really that attached to the house or is it the fear of change and of what the future holds?

Both Toto and P&P, neither of you are happy at the moment with your situations. You've both taken steps to make things better for you and your families.

Dont be afraid or look back at whats happened/should have done etc.

Be happy that you have made your decision and look forward to a brighter future. You never know whats around the corner and like you both say, you will be free of your debts and will have peace of mind and time to spend with your family.

These moves may turn out to be the best things you have ever done.

Dead_Eye_Jones

pounds_and_pensive wrote:

.

and for my thirteen year-old, who can spend hours dreaming up colour schemes for when we've got the money to paint her room but will never be able to paint her walls now because they'll always be someone else's. /QUOTE]

Some landlords (my brother for one) will let tennants paint and a few other bits and bobs, after all, even though the house is rented it's still home to the tennant.

Its my understanding that they cant really stop you redecorating, infact a tennant can have reasonable expectation for a landlord to do it for them if required.

What could they do, withhold deposit on grounds of damage? imagine that going to court! "So please demostrate to the court how the tennant has damaged your property" "The swines gave each room a fresh coat of paint"