Time To Throw My Hat In The Ring!

JulieBarlow

Hi,

After a long time lurking and reading these forums I have decided it is time to confess my debt. I have had my lightbulb moment and have decided that sharing my problem with you guys might take some of the weight off my shoulders, then after a good long cry I might feel a bit better!

I have had a gambling habit that has got me quite seriously into debt but I have, hopefully, kicked this now and just need to sort myself out and get on with life.

My situation is quite difficult to assess because I am self-employed and have money coming in and out daily so I can kind of roll-over some debts by waiting until statement dates before paying off bills, etc. to buy me an extra month to pay them. Things have slowed down in the last couple of weeks, possibly because of the world cup and nice weather. I don't really spend much a month on myself, don't smoke or drink or buy clothes!

My husband isn't much help and won't help me with my debt despite having savings himself which although it frustrates me I can't really blame him, this is my mess and I need to sort it out. We do also have 3 kids and I am 27. We own our own home which we have re-mortgaged to pay off some of my debts but I have agreed to repay the extra borrowing when I can so it is still part of my debt but just not in the equation at the moment.

My monthly income is normally about £1300 a month but this varies all the time (Christmas run-up is normally great but that's a long way off!)

My debts are:
Tesco Mastercard £5986.57 (standard APR but I pay this off in full each month but don't know how I am going to do this this month)
M&S Card £5820 (0% until November then I'm hoping they'll give me some sort of life of balance deal)
Natwest £5572 (4.9% until November then again I'm hoping they will give me some sort of life of balance deal)
Lloyds TSB £5003.62 (5.9% life of balance)

I also have Barclaycard, Mint card and Conran card all with £0 owed but with standard APR at the moment.

I currently have about £500 in the bank to go towards my mastercard and should get about £2500 income before the payment due date that can go towards it too.

My monthly outgoings are very simple - I pay £245 a month into joint acccount and that covers all food, bills, mortgage, etc. I have changed gas, electric, phone, etc. to be on the cheapest possible. I have a company car so all I have to pay out for that is petrol which comes to about £150 a month. I think this works out that I have a disposable income of about £900 a month and my current debt is £22382 so if I allow myself £100 monthly spend for myself then I should eb able to pay off £800 a month which means I should be debt free in about 28 months plus the interest I will pay should add a few months on so I estimate this part of my debt will be paid off in about 30 months and then it's just my remortgage to sort out!

Any positive words of encouragement are greatfully received and I will keep updating this to see whether I am achieving my £800 a month target, although I am not so hopeful for the next month due to dropping sales!

Fingers crossed by the time I'm 30 I should be back on my feet and able to be an un-stressed mum.

jessicamb

Hi Julie

Welcome to MSE!

Looks like you are getting sorted with things - well done for facing up to things. Have you prioritised the debt repayments into order of highest APR so you are paying off the most expensive first?

brranger

I also have Barclaycard, Mint card and Conran card all with £0 owed but with standard APR at the moment

Hi, Can you ask these cards if they will give you any transfer deals I think LOB is best due to high rates after 0 % finishes and maybe not getting new cards in future.


You should also look at snowballing to tell which debt to hit first,
http://www.whatsthecost.com/snowball.aspx

Good luck and Welcome

In_Search_Of_Me

Welcome...guess my biggest question is have you got help with the gambling...concerned that once you start paying back you may be tempted to gamble again if you dont REALLY, deep down, address why you gamble etc?...good luck with it all!

MCBIRNIE25

Hiya,
well done you for facing up to your issues. Takes a lot of guts and we are all here to support you.
Concerned over the gambling to.Hope all works out good for you.

MCBIRNIE25

Mrs_Sparkle

Hi Julie,

Well done for joining us. I too was in tears when I had my lightbulb moment but the pain is worth it, I promise.

Sounds like you've got a good plan of action there and I wish you the very best of luck with it.

x x

beanielou

Hi & welcome to MSE
Have you got your addiction under control as if you havent you could have a few probs

JulieBarlow

Thanks for the support.

I have just sat and number crunched for a couple of hours and developed a repayment plan for myself which I think is totally realistic and which means my debt free date is April 2009. That includes repaying my re-mortgage as well and allows me £100 spending money a month and £150 petrol money a month. Now all I have to do is stick to it!! Fingers crossed because that means by the time I'm 30 I should hopefully be debt free. Yippeeeeeee.

My gambling is a problem but I can't go to GA locally for various reasons. I know I gamble as a way to escape because I get depressed but as yet I haven't saught help for my depression so I plan to call the doctors on Monday and see if I can get help for my depression which I guess is the first step. I gamble online but I can't really get rid of my online connection because I run a website and that's how I earn a living but I have now closed EVERY account I have got and have asked the sites to not allow me to re-open my accounts. I am also planning to call my Tesco's card on Monday and ask them to put a block on me using my card on any gambling sites as this is the only card I would use to gamble with.

Hopefully I am now on the right road, at the moment I really, really hate myself for what I have done and I think gambling was also a way of punishing myself as well but hopefully in 3 years time I can be happy with myself and know that even when things were at there worst I managed to pull through.

The stupid thing is I am so careful and organised and honest with other people's money and have managed to save friends and family a fortune by reorganising their finances and getting them cheaper rates, etc. that nobody would believe I could be this stupid with my own finances!! Hopefully nobody will ever know because I'm already the black sheep of my family and can do without them finding out. I'm much happier now I've sat and sorted things out though, roll on April 2009!!!

Debt_Free_Chick

JulieBarlow wrote:

My monthly income is normally about £1300 a month ...

I think this works out that I have a disposable income of about £900 a month and my current debt is £22382 so if I allow myself £100 monthly spend for myself then I should eb able to pay off £800 a month which means I should be debt free in about 28 months

Be careful! If you are self employed, then you need to put away about £325 a month, so you can pay your tax bill.

lynzpower

hi julie

Welcome

You dont have to come off line but you can use gambling blockers on your PC. Credit card companies in my experience are not able to stop transactions to specific sites, but they can refuse to allow your card to work with internet transaction agencies such as data cash or streamline ( which was what I was told last week)

Who knows the linkie for this?

Compulsive_Gambler

JulieBarlow wrote:

Hi,



I have had a gambling habitWell done for doing the first thing and admitting it that has got me quite seriously into debt but I have, hopefully, kicked this now and just need to sort myself out and get on with life.

My husband isn't much help and won't help me with my debt despite having savings himself which although it frustrates me I can't really blame him, this is my mess and I need to sort it out. We do also have 3 kids and I am 27. We own our own home which we have re-mortgaged to pay off some of my debts but I have agreed to repay the extra borrowing when I can so it is still part of my debt but just not in the equation at the moment.

Trust me, that whilst you are frustrated that your husband isn't paying your debts of it is actually a good thing because the chances are you will just go and gamble the debts back up again. At least now you have to work the money of yourself and theres no easy way out.

Hi there

As i said well done for admitting you have a gambling problem and to be honest your debts are the least of my concerns, because what will happen is that if you become more frugal and don't control your gambling (you'll never get rid of it).

If it wasn't for your debts you wouldn't be checking out the GA website. What i am saying is that its the lack of money that gets us to seek help and not generally the realisation that we are compulsive.

Now why can you not goto your local GA meeting? fear of being recognised? worried that its all old men? worried that you'l be barraged and bollocked?

Well if i can i will put most of these fallocies to rest from my own personal experience. Firstly i was also worried about being recognised about going and messing up my working life so decided to goto a meeting in another town (so if you can do this and as you work for yourself the chances that you drive are high you most likely can!). Secondly worried about it all being men, i have been going to GA for just under 1 year now and whilst admittedly it is more men than women i have seen a fair few women come (and most unfortuantly go again )

Thirdly worried about being bolllocked, well this one is a bit of a tough one because when i first went it was rough and i got some stick but the stick i got wasn't from people judging me it was from people that understood where i was at that point as they themselves had experienced it themselves. I was given very good infomation and have tried to put these into a plan of action as best i can and i love going to meetings now as its more of a social thing!!

What i will say is that the meetings do vary from one to another so if you find one you don't like then go to another!.

What it comes down to is that do you really want to stop gambling and what will you do to do this. Some people can do this without help, but the VAST! majortiy of people that stop do it with help.( which you should not be ashamed to ask for!)

Sorry this is all over the shop but i keep getting new things pop in my head and i should point out that having an addiction is actually a mental illness and whilst some people out their will scoff at this they won't understand untill they themselves become a compulsive person.

Right enough said and probably overloaded you but the thing Lynz was on about was

GAMBLOCK

its a site that you pay £20 ish and blocks all forms of gambling on your computer, if you try to remove it the chances are very high that it will corrupt your computer (the reason behind this is that as we are compulsive we will try and get around it!)

Ok enough is enough if you do want some more help or anyone that feels they are in the same position then please feel free to PM but also look at the following

http://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk

Hope this helps

Compulsive Gambler