Disc. B/rupt wife wants separation neg equity

peachyprice

Brokenback, I think you need to sit her down and explain, very clearly, that selling or letting the house house go will not releive her of the next 25 years of debt but will infact put the whole debt on to her, here and now.

Brokenback_2

Thanks Peachyprice,

I will but she is not going to announce whats happening to family until after christmas and my birthday early jan [happy b'day] and i guess it would be better after christmas rather than spoil everything for the kids. i would like to add that i m very close to her family which in turn makes things worse and they would be very disappointed to see us seperate but more so for breakin up the family especially with my eldest daughter having an eating disorder her timing is not the best......and it is her gcse year too...i still believe there is something going on in her head thats not right...

confused76

oh dear brokenback sounds a tough situation. peachprice is right, you need a serious conversation with your wife, give her all of the facts. she isn't going to like it but she needs to know the true picture. i can't help thinking extra rent is going to put a massive burden on you both financially, do your sums and show her on paper what the options are and what it adds up to. it'll be a tough painful conversation but sounds like one that needs to happen. i'm only talking about the finances here, i really wouldn't know what to suggest about your life together, that's for you brokenback

all the best...i hope you get this sorted

Mrs_Malaprop

Would you be able to get a lodger if she moved out to help towards the bills?

nervousmother

Is the secured loans in joint names, or a result of a charging order in your name?
are you paying a IPA due to your BR?

fatou256

hi sorry to hear your trouble but i was wondering do you think before trying separation that you and your wife will benefit from counselling ? it may worth a try after all.

Cash_Waster

Brokenback wrote: »

hi cashwaster,

There wasnt 40000 equity in the house when i went bankrupt as i was 36000 neg equity no disrespect to my wife but her understanding of financial matters is not great. she has im my opinion overlooked the little fact that the 2nd loan was a secured loan against the house. And i will most certainly not be letting my family bail her out even tho i do feel bad about how the debt was made it was at a very low time in my life which my wife cant or doesnt seem to want to understand or agree with.

No probs Brokenback, that makes sense.

As People have said, you are going to have to have one of the hardest conversations of your life, but putting it down together in black and white can help. The hardest thing in my life, was having to sit down and face our hardships head on. It wasn't pleasent but we both understood it in black and white and we could move forward realising we were losing everything.

Goodluck mate, everyones thoughts are with you.

peppi

HI there im new to all of this but i really need some advise,i have lived in my home for 8 years and always paid our morgage but about 18 months ago my husband and his brother wanted a loan from the bank so they took me to thier friend a solicotor to sign for a loan on my home for a 100k.Unfortunatley the business went bankcrupt and so did my husband we did go through bankcrupcy and i did by the benificial intrest but now the bank wants thier money,i cant afford the 100k and there is not a lot of equity in my home does anyone thinkthey would take full and final settlement and how much do you think they would take,unless i do a deal i will myself have to go bankcrupt .thank you

debtinfo

Hi peppi, if you start your own thread you are more likely to get responses. Just click here

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/newthread.html?do=newthread&f=136

and copy your post