Mother in law, baliffs and threatening letters?

euronorris

Oh, and if you don't have the funds to pay all in one go, then you simply can't do that. I don't think any judge would rule that you have to. It's most likely they would agree a repayment plan for you to stick to.

DebtKiller

darkestangel30 wrote:

I really do appreciate your view. However, it's not a case of going AWOL. They knew where we were, they could have come to visit at any time and it wouldn't have been a problem. His mother has 2 grandchildren and 1 step grandchild that she hasn't attempted to see, there have been no letters sent regarding them, no cards for christmas or birthdays etc, it's all about the money for her and her girlfriend. I was willing to arrange installments at the beginning of this year, but the threats started and she then informed me that I was withholding contact! I've never done that.

euronorris wrote:

If I'm wrong, I apologise, but I think there is more to this story then you are currently aware of. Keep your eyes open for this.

I have to agree with euronorris; there seems more to this. I can't imagine any reason why a grandmother wouldn't want to see their grandkids, unless there is some prior bad blood or "something said/done" to muddy the waters, especially if as you say, they know where you live. Is the contact with your partners grandmother always done via your partner, do you not have contact yourself?

darkestangel30 wrote:

If my partner wrote to the court offering installments is it possible that this would accepted? Or is his mothers girlfriend still within her rights to continue demanding the full outstanding amount in one go?

I would imagine any attempt to repay the debt would be looked upon favourably, subject to it being within your partner's ability to pay. I can't imagine a court would expect him to repay the whole amount in one go. That said, he would need to be very careful to stick to any payment plan put in place, I would imagine.

darkestangel30

His mother hasn't spoken to him for many months. I believe the last conversation was about him giving her the bank book from his childhood savings account to pay off a month of the debt (350), which he did even though we had no food, no electric and no baby milk. I've spoken to other people about this situation and I'm told his mother is just like this, its "her way". He's never said anything bad about me to her, if he had she'd break her own neck to tell me word for word what had been said lol

I think I'm right that in a civil case there's less need for hard evidence than in a criminal case. I could be wrong? But if thats the case then i suppose any of us could go online and make a claim for reclaiming money against anyone?

darkestangel30

To debt killer,

My partners maternal grandmother visited me a week after my youngest was born, just little me and the kids. Nothing bad was said, no tension, just a nice visit to see the new baby. The next week a letter landed at my house saying I was withholding contact and apparently working full time. I was baffled to say the least when she's had ample opportunity to visit herself, or at the very least send a card. I'll quote some of her letter:

"you and loraine are both working her as a warehouse operative so the moneys rolling in and because your not classed as living there her benefits alot more, it's not like your not paying for broadband and mobiles"

Sorry but if I'm apparently working how am I getting loads of benefit? And how many women do you know who would be doing warehouse work 2 weeks after giving birth? My mobile is a pay as you go and never has any credit on it. And my broadband is the cheapest package available.

"dont bother moving because I can find you and all your details so you would be wasting your time + money. Your mum is going to apply for access to see her grandkids via court to stay at our house once a month because your not been fair"

The house is covered by cctv so dont bother doing anything silly"

Whats all that about? She hasnt bothered with my children for over a year, they dont even know her now, so I doubt a court would allow overnight contact. I got the feeling they were trying to scare me somehow? And my children are not weapons to be used over a money issue.

Now there's baliffs knocking the door just before christmas. I really dont want to have to deal with them directly now, so does court deal with any offer of installments?

catgil

I suppose this is a lesson to parents. Don't take loans out to help your children :mad: I'm sorry if this seems harsh but this was to help you both. Couldn't you at least try to pay half back? Do you really feel that you shouldn't have to pay it? I suppose his mother and partner made the stupid mistake of trusting you both and taking your word that you would pay it. Oh well....funny world

DebtKiller

darkestangel30 wrote: »

My partners maternal grandmother visited me a week after my youngest was born, just little me and the kids. Nothing bad was said, no tension, just a nice visit to see the new baby. The next week a letter landed at my house saying I was withholding contact and apparently working full time. I was baffled to say the least when she's had ample opportunity to visit herself, or at the very least send a card.

Perhaps the behaviour of your partner's mother (and, by extension, her girlfriend's behaviour) is exacerbated due to the bad feeling generated by this debt. It is obviously interfering with any relationship you would wish the two of them to have with your children (if you still do), so I would only hope that your partner can sort this out asap.

I've always said (well, since my LBM) that "neither a lender, nor a borrower be". I think doubly so when it comes to family.

euronorris

darkestangel30 wrote: »

His mother hasn't spoken to him for many months. I believe the last conversation was about him giving her the bank book from his childhood savings account to pay off a month of the debt (350), which he did even though we had no food, no electric and no baby milk. I've spoken to other people about this situation and I'm told his mother is just like this, its "her way". He's never said anything bad about me to her, if he had she'd break her own neck to tell me word for word what had been said lol

I think I'm right that in a civil case there's less need for hard evidence than in a criminal case. I could be wrong? But if thats the case then i suppose any of us could go online and make a claim for reclaiming money against anyone?

It's true, there are just some strange people out there who act in ways I (we) cannot understand.

My best friend's step mum is one of them. I am not allowed in their house until I apologise for disagreeing with her when she said that my friend was 'only in it, if there's something in it for herself'. My only response to that was, 'oh, that's not true, she's done plenty of stuff for me when there's been no reward in it for her'. She told me she knew better as she was her daughter, I said OK, no problem and left it at that. I didn't think anything of it, it was all said in such a light way.

The next time I went round she told me I was rude and was unwelcome until I had apologised. I explained that I didn't know what I had done to upset her so much and asked her to explain. She just kept repeating 'you know what you did' over and over again. I had to leave before I lost my temper. Didn't want to make things worse for my friend (who was still living there at the time).

To this day she still moans about me to my friend and I cannot fathom why she's upset. In all honesty, I feel I'm the one who's owed an apology but hey, ho, what can you do?

Sorry, went a bit off topic.

DebtKiller

darkestangel30 wrote:

I think I'm right that in a civil case there's less need for hard evidence than in a criminal case. I could be wrong? But if thats the case then i suppose any of us could go online and make a claim for reclaiming money against anyone?

I could be completely wrong, but I would imagine that if there was a paper trail from the original loan, the paying off of items/bills in his name, perhaps evidence of a bank transfer of the remainder, and then maybe some visibility of repayments made, that this would indicate that a "contract" as such was in place between your partner and his mother's girlfriend to repay the loan. I doubt you could just make things up.

(this gem courtesy of too much time spent watching Judge Judy, so take with large pinch of salt as needed)

Edit: http://www.courtroomadvice.co.uk/using-small-claims-court-debt-recovery.html looks quite useful as a starter for 10. Hope it's the right area, though.

darkestangel30

DebtKiller wrote: »

I could be completely wrong, but I would imagine that if there was a paper trail from the original loan, the paying off of items/bills in his name, perhaps evidence of a bank transfer of the remainder, and then maybe some visibility of repayments made, that this would indicate that a "contract" as such was in place between your partner and his mother's girlfriend to repay the loan. I doubt you could just make things up.

(this gem courtesy of too much time spent watching Judge Judy, so take with large pinch of salt as needed)

I watch that too lol

There are 3 things she paid for, rent (550), car tax (around 100), and council tax (150 ish). I got a reciept for the car tax, council tax and the rent shows on the bank statement. But could it be considered a gift? No agreement was signed by anyone, so I'm interested to understand how it works. I mean, my mum has put small amounts of money in my own bank account, as a gift years ago, would she be within her legal rights to take me to court and demand that I pay her back?

terryw

As your partner does not live with you, why not just let the mother and girlfriend know his current whereabouts so that they can pursue this debt directly with him? It does not seem to be fair for him to leave the handling of this with you.