Any budget tips??

Imelda

Hi all,

This is the second month that I have set myself a budget, in the first month I did ok but learnt some lessons that I put into practise this month. On pay day I was so confident that I was going to achieve my goal, but today, a week before my next pay day it has all fallen apart.

How do you cope with unforeseen events? For example this month I had:
1. £33 tank of petrol- I lent my car to a friend who had to go and see her sick Gran, 200 miles round trip. I cannot ask for money for this.
2. £29 my mum went to the hairdressers (who is a friend of mine) and "forgot" her purse (whole other issue), I am going to the same hairdresser this weekend (£12 haircut- whoo!) and so my mum has asked me to pay her instead (now I know I won't see this money again)
3. £30 hen weekend "sundries" I booked and paid for the hen weekend pre lbm, this money is for t-shirts, champagne and a taxi to & from airport. My spending money is limited anyway to £100, so this is a huge chunk, then there's food, drink etc etc...

So now the £90 I thought I would have (budget for sister's birthday present and meal, father's day present and food for OH and myself for 1 week) has gone. I have decided to take the £30 for the hen weekend out of my savings (and try to replenish in the next 2 months before the actual trip) and put the presents and food shopping on my credit card (which will be paid off on pay day) as I really don't want to go down the overdraft road again. But this then leaves me with a reduced budget next month....

thanks for reading this far, I'm just frustrated that all my efforts have gone to waste.

lynzpower

well with the second one, just simply say, no you dont have the money to pay for your mums haircut ( you dont, its not a lie) then she can pay for it.

why cant you ask for the money from your freind? I dont understand?

two out of the 3 examples, are from you not asking for money back, or allowing other people to take advantage ( sorty cant think of a nicer way of putting that) Why is that?

brranger

The easiest one to get money off should be your mum just ask here for as your going to the hair dresses but you don't have the money to cover her hair cut aswell, she should understand £30 does not just pop out of the air,

ms_london

To be honest, I think your friend is cheeky to not offer anything for the petrol they used!! Whether she was visiting someone who was sick or not, they should have at least offered!!

Were you posting the other day about having to bail your mum out all of the time? (or perhaps I'm confusing you with someone else?).

Does your friend/mum know of your situation? You shouldnt be so soft, although I know its hard, and frankly, they shouldnt take advantage of your kind nature!!

xx

eddie_2-2

I agree with the above post.
Doing people favours, letting them take advantage of you is not helping your budget.
You did your friend a favour lending them your car for the journey - but why can't they pay for their own petrol?
If you don't have the money to pay for your Mum's haircut then you should tell her.

vics_2

hello,
i have the same problem things just seem to mount up and before you know it the money in your purse has virtually all gone.

for the last 3 weeks i have been withdrawing a set amount and just using that-if theres money in the purse i buy what i need/wnat if not i dont.it seems to be working and i now i just say i anit the money if a family member or friend tries to take advantage.

hope this helps a bit.
vic.

Mrs_Sparkle

Hi Imelda,

I agree with the other posts about letting people take advantage of you. Personally I would be devious enough to postpone my hairdresser's appointment deliberately so I wasn't even tempted to help out.

I know what you mean about unexpected expenses though- I posted yesterday about having 4 birthdays, 1 wedding, 1 christening + 1 new baby to buy presents for this month. 3 out of the 4 birthdays are for kids so I can't not buy a present. The 4th one was in a restaurant and cost me £40 for the meal, £10 for a present and £2 for a card. £52 on one night! I don't "do" birthdays as I'm always embarrassed to ask people to spend money just to celebrate me being born on that day ?!?! I don't get it!

It was lovely of you lend your car out but I'm afraid your friend was very rude to return it without a full tank. But then, what do we do... do we become social hermits and avoid spending any cash for our friends' benefit? It's a hard one!

lady_fuschia

You should be able to say to your mum that you are happy to pop the money in for her when you go, but that she will have to give it to you beforehand. After all, if she only "forgot" her purse, the £29 she was going to spend should still be in it!
I know its difficult to ask your friend for money, but if you start (or continue) a pattern of allowing people to exploit your guilt you will encourage them to take advantage even more. No need to be harsh- asking for money for petrol isn't the same thing as not being sympathetic about her gran. You wouldn't expect a bus driver not to charge you the fare just because you needed to go to the doctors would you? This doesn't mean he doesn't care that you're ill. Just explain that you really need to re-fill the tank and would she contribute. Once you start standing up for yourself people will be less likely to continue exploitinig your good nature. Start appreciating that not wanting to carry other peoples financial troubles isn't the same as not caring about them.

Imelda

lynzpower et al, you're right. I DO let people walk all over me, I have a good job and earn quite good money so people just assume that I can afford everything. Yes Ms London it is my mum, she is the worst, I'm always helping her out, I am going to ask her to transfer the money to my account today.
My friend is a bit different, I'm sure she will offer to pay as she did say that it needed refilling but she couldn't open the petrol cap (I had the key on my keyring- doh!- could have been nasty!). She's away at the moment but I will bring it up when she gets back (she knows about my money problems).
I suppose the crux of it is I feel too ashamed to say I haven't got the money does anyone else have this problem?

Brassic

Imelda wrote:

I suppose the crux of it is I feel too ashamed to say I haven't got the money does anyone else have this problem?

Oh blimey yes Things like friends coming over, suddenly bang goes the value stuff, and out comes really nice extravagences, because they always feed us really well when we go them. I'm trying to get tougher with it all, but it is difficult.

Hope you get it sorted without too much embarressment with your mum and friend.

spud30

I agree with the other posters, I'm afraid.

If you don't feel able to ask your friend and your mum, at least learn from your mistakes this month and do your best not to let them happen again.

I know it's really hard, I was just like you. I would've given my last fiver to help anyone but not anymore. Not because I'm being tight, I just can't afford to.