In a bit of a mess...

sbelle_2

Hi,

I've been lurking for a while now and read the threads with great interest, most of the replies are helpful and supportive....So I've finally taken the plunge to post.

Am very unhappy at the moment... Long story short but married for 17 years til 2 years ago, now divorced, had first (joint) mortgage at 20 and always been the one resposible for organising the money and paying bills. Yet since being on my own have found it increasingly difficult to manage...spose I can't get used to not having 2 incomes. Now find myself in debt, have overdraft that just keeps growing and credit cards altogether about £3000.

Other than our mortgage never had any debt before, odd loan over the years but always paid off early when ex had bonus or such like. I've tried to do my budget and understand where the money goes but it just seems impossible...If i fill in the spreadsheet and factor in kids clothes, school trips, birthdays (ds 11 today!!) car tax etc etc i end up with a minus :-(

The thing today is i've just realised that my rent is due to go out tomorrow and there is just enough but I set up a direct debit for my cc after being late and getting a charge (thankfully refunded after pleading phonecall) and this afternoon I realised this will also go out tomorrow and push me over the limit.

I have today increased my od (online banking) to try to avoid incurring charges but that won't take affect til 2 days. rang the branch they said ring head office which i've just done and basically there is nothing they can do. Even if i pay in cash throught the cash machine tonight, the payments count as going out at midnight and the cash won't be credited til the branch opens.

Got bit teary on the phone, A coulpe of months ago a direct debit and debit card payment went out and unexoectedly pushed me over the od limit and they charged me £30 for each. I wrote a long letter explaining after banking with them for 20 odd years first charges ever and they refunded them but not sure they'll be so understanding this time.

I know it's my fault i'm in this mess, I know i shouldn't have let things drag on and i should've kept a closer eye on stuff but i am in this mess and I'd like some advice on the best way to get out of it.

If you've got this far than thank you for taking tje time to read it. I'm sorry for the blabbering of an emotional mother but it has helprd just getting it all down in black and white...and if i know i've told someone it's like I'll have to be sensible from now on coz i'll have someone to answer to if i'm not sensible.

southernscouser

Hey sbelle! You've come to the right place!

Take a look at this thread then post back here with your SOA!

lynzpower

sbelle

Welcome to DFW

Dont you worry, you are among freinds here and of course we will give the same freindly advice to you as we give to others

I suspect the best thing to do is to post an SOA. Read through southern scousers first time posters sticky, and pop up all your ins and outs and lets see how we go.

ps You can always claim back those charges from your bank too, they are unlawful.

lynzpower

@ Ss- Jinx!!!!!

Verbatim

Hi sbelle welcome aboard. Sounds like you're pretty good at dealing with banks and managing generally. I'm sur you'll soon have it all under control.

bikerqueen

I think it makes sense that you come out with a minus honey, thats where the CC and overdraft troubles come in!

The nerds on here are scarily good at finding savings down the back of the sofa, looking forward to your SOA, and trying to help.

sbelle_2

Thank you all for your support. I've just read the advice on SOA so am off to get all the figures.
Having read that post about SOA I can so identify with all the emotions felt...Anger embarassment shame desperation to name a few!
Feel I need a total head makeover to get around this...

sbelle_2

Ok here goes, apologies if its rambling.

Incoming

Wages 354.24 (4 weekly)
WTC 255.84 (4 weekly)
CTC 75.78 (weekly)
Housing Benefit 182.98 (fortnightly)
child benefit 113.00 (?) (4 weekly)
maintenance 200.00 (monthly)

works out (I think) to £1708.16 monthly income

Outgoing

Rent 625.00
Water 26.00
Council Tax 80.00
Car ins 18.62
Sky 36.00
Electricity 19.00
Gas 19.00
TV License 11.50
Phone & Broadband 35.00
Mobile 25.00
Petrol 55.00
cc 100.00

Total 1050.12

Food and household 400.00

Total 1450.12

Which looks like it leaves an excess of £258.04 each month!!!

Gosh on paper i look well off and if anyone gave me these figures and said they were struggling i'd really question that. But I am

The gas and electricity will have to be altered, I changed about a month ago to a new supplier but from experience those figures may be ok in the current heatwave but no way will they see me through the winter.

I can't downgrade sky as only recently signed up for new contract following purchase of sky+ (it was cheap thanks to digital money saving thread) and convinced myself it would be an early birhtday present to myself! I know i'm wrong in trying to justify it but please hear me out...I don't smoke, tho i do enjoy the odd glass of wine, I don't go out very much, my bf works away all week and has his kids everyother weekend so don't get to spend that much time together. I feel the sky is mine and kids only real luxury. I get their clothes on ebay or from primark. I have recently had to buy some for myself due to weight gain (!) but only enough to get me through. The car is a necessity for school and work run. It's worth about £2000 but reliable and (touch wood) has not had too many problems. I don't feel downgrading would really be a viable option.

I've just lowered my mobile from £35 to £25 and when that is up in november will go to payg. The free minutes are handy tho as I phone bf every nite.

I know my money just fritters away. I use a debit card and I quite often look at my statement and can't believe the amount of times i've used it. I really need to plan my weekly food and not deviate. Thing is i'm the worst person for snacking (hence the weight gain) I get lonely during the evenings and eat! I rush around in the mornings and end up having no breakfast so by 10 i'm starving at work and buy food in the canteen! I'll go to tesco for bread and end up spending £10!

I know I need to STOP and start over with a plan and a realistic budget.

I hope that now i've finally acknowledged my debts and bad spending habits, with help and encouragement I may be able to turn things around.

Thank you for listening, just to have been honest and 'talked' about it has already lifted some of the gloom, the little cloud that hovers permanently over my head is now ever so slightly very dark grey instead of black.

OberonSH

Hey there, looks like you have most of the bases covered - it's great that you have taken the first steps. I'd look at all those little tranactions, and then use them to plan your budgets, shaving a fiver off them every now and again. You seem to know what you have to do -plan plan plan and then plan some more, so it's just the motivation you need. My tip would be to get a little notebook, pop it in your bag and write down everything you spend. This will keepi it in your mind when you whip out your card. Or put a sticky-note on your cards that says 'Do I need This?'

sbelle_2

Thank you Oberon, I've had a day off today and have spent a while on mse, I read your thread this morning and you have my admiration for your positive attitude and sunny outlook.

Cheers x

southernscouser

Start a spending diary! Note down every penny you spend! At the end of the month it will give you an eye-opener in to where your money goes!

Also get over to the oldstyle board to reduce your grocery bill. I know your not on your own but some single people feed themselves on less than £50 a month! :eek:

Can you give us details about your debts? Credit limits, APR's?