Advice Please - How to tackle this problem

dottyanne

Ok here goes - you probably all know me a little by now but ive been doing a lot of thinking of late - especially after all the problems with my accountant ive had recently and ive made a decision - i no longer want myself and hubby to work for ourselves - i want us to go back to working in employment - less hassle and more money all round i think!!

It all started in 04 when hubby (then to be) was made redundant from a well paid job (about 30K) he took this pretty badly and decided that he wanted to work for himself, i too was on ok salary (approx 15K per annum) as a legal secretary but i hated the job. I was really stressed and the pressure was making me ill and when hubby to be suggested sratring up ourselves it seemed a good idea at the time - how wrong was i - personally its ok for him - i am the one who has to constantly juggle money we dont have and were in both business and personal debt now because of our decisions - i want to stop this cycle now before we go deeper under - the problem is hubby loves what hes doing - i hate the pressure and constant struggle to make ends meet.

Also when hubby had the good employed job he was rather stressed all the time worked long hours and if im honest drank too much (meetings at lunch, dinner etc) For him in his-self working for himself has given 'him' back to me - however money wise its been disasterous - we still have the same bills we did when 45k was passing through the door ,except we probabaly dont have a fifth of the income - no wonder were in debt - what can i do and how do i approach him to work this out ina manner thats best for us as a couple??

dotty xx

southernscouser

First and foremost honesty. If you aren't open with each other you could be pulling in different directions that makes the situation worse.

I'm a firm believer in being happy in a job is more important than money but at the end of the day you need to be able to afford to pay the bills and live the lifestyle you want whether it be 6 foreign holidays a year or camping in the back garden if you get what I mean.

What does your OH do? Can he realistically increase his income doing it?

How would things change if you became an employee but your OH stayed self-employed?

dottyanne

At the moment im the sole trader and OH works for me technically - this isnt working out tho - its just not paying us what we need to survive and im totally crap with the book keeping side etc - OH is very qualified in telecommunications and we have a Computer Shop so he's very technical - the problem is even if i go to get a job and he stays as the S/E one we will still have problems in that he will still want me to do his books - which im not happy about and we wll still be bearning less as he was the main breadwinner??

lynzpower

dotty

My personal opinion is that this is a great idea. I agree with you completely.

If he got a 30k job now, he would come out with after tax 421.28
He currently brings in if I remember rightly 150 a week - 271. odd every single week . now thats assuming he would be able to get a 30k job which he might not be able to. I use https://www.i-resign.com to do these calcuations, I find it the most relaible calculator.

Could you put these sums to him?

I would also say that there could be an easy middle ground, such as him working part time elsewhere and only opening the shop on weekends & running the ebay shop and you working full time, or a combination of these. The labor market is flexible with evening, night, part time work etc. You could work full time too, I think even if you worked in an ofice as a temp you would come out with more than you do now per week, and at least it FAIRLY regular

Could you investigate temping. then you havent wrapped up the shop but just dragging extra money in as and when, while you think things over?

LOve lynz
xx

southernscouser

But if you went and got a job else where for say £15k then you would be £15k off! Is that right?

As for the book-keeping, if your crap at it is there no way he can learn to do it. If he enjoys his job so much it should be part and parcel.

lynzpower

No, surely if he wants to run the business himself he should be coughing up to pay a bookeeper who a) feels confident about the job in hand b) wants to do it.

You dont want to be either of those, so he/ both of you should be factoring in the cost of having someone to do it as part of your business plan

southernscouser

Dotty, this isn't meant to sound harsh so apologies if it does!

Could you run your business without your OH? You say he is qualified in telecommunications but what about you? If he didn't work for you would you have the expertise or knowhow to keep the business running?

Mrs_Wobbly

You need to talk to him about it. We were in a very similar situation, I hated it, hubby thrived on it. I did it for two years, thankfully the whole situation was taken out of our hands when we were conned out of a lot of money (the person responsible was eventually jailed) but this automatically meant we lost the business, our house and sanity for a while. I now look back and think it was the best thing that could have happened as I didn't feel DH would have given it up voluntarily, but I wish he'd known how I felt about it all. He reckons now he would have stopped if he knew how unhappy I was or at least taken it all on himself.
Good luck
Denise

Murtle

Pay for a book keeper, it shouldn't be too expensive and would take a weight off the work you are doing and give you more time and energy to plough into something more useful (and money generating).

Work out the kind of money you need to be bringing in to live a decent life, and then sit down with OH and explain to him, that he needs x amount of work paying £x in order for it to be worthwhile. It sounds as though it would be better for you to go back to employed work for your own sanity along with better income for you. The same doesn't sound right for you OH, but he needs to understand that the "business" needs to make money somewhere near to what he was earning before, look at diversifying into areas that pay well, advertising for more business, word of mouth (if you worked locally, you'd be a great advert for anyone wanting the work your OH offers?!)

I think I'm trying to say to work out a plan of required money in and then work out how to achieve this working on keeping a good work/life balance which will be different for you and your OH.

ps By the sounds of it, you are getting the bits that he doesn't want to do - that's not fair, you should both have some "fun" bits (as in bits you find fun, and bits he finds fun, and some bits that you don't like). I get to do all the finances - I don't mind, that's fun. I get to do all the shopping, that's not fair - I hate it! Share and share.

x x

mountainofdebt

I (honestly!) don't mean to be rude here but can I ask why you say you are crap at book-keeping?

Is it because you and figures just don't agree or is it becasue you've had to hit the ground running and haven't had time/energy to get some formal training (by that I mean undergo a basic book-keeping course)

I must admit I do my hubby's books and some times, the last thing you want to do after a full days work is then carry on in the house and do more work. So could it be that YOU are trying to do too much and not giving yourself abit of R&R time?

If its that why not considering you getting a parttime job but still do the books for hubby? I don't think a book-keeper would be very expensive - especially if there's not much involved - perhaps you could get someone in 1 or 2 half days a week. If its the lack of training, then many colleges run basic book-keeping courses or even your local enterprise agency may know of courses for people in your situation.

lynzpower

I suspect the business went into dottys name for financial reasons, is that right Dotty?