Don't know where to start

mrargh

Hello forum,

I've had a "LBM" and realised I need to sort my debt problem out (if nothing else to save my marriage and family), only problem is, I just don't know how much I'm in.

I've burried my head in the sand for a few years and not been in contact with my creditors (three in total I believe and all the same bank). I had an overdraft, credit card and graduate loan and the last repayments on any of them were in 2003 (cc) and 2004 (loan). Amount of debt then was around £6,000, undoubtedly it's at least trebled if not more since then. It's not an excuse, but I've suffered badly from depression and just couldn't deal with the situation so did the stupid thing and ignored it.

I've been in contact with the CCCS self employed helpline and they've recommended getting a copy of my credit report to see where I stand, would this be a sensible first step to take? Will I suddenly have creditors banging on the door further straining things with my wife (who is very good with money, never missed a payment, earns more than me too)?

This year has been pretty hard financially with the economy how it is and I'll be lucky to break the 18k barrier (pre-tax). My wife has told me that it's my problem to sort out and she and our son shouldn't suffer for my stupidity, which I accept, but I'm going to try and get us to cut back on things like groceries (currently we spend at least £70.00 a week for the three of us). I've also been told that I need to pack in my work and find a "proper" job that will allow me to crawl out of this faster, only downside is currently I get to spend every weekday morning (and all day friday, make up the work sunday) with our son and would desparately miss that, but ends will as needs must and all that.

Trying to work on a SOA but it's complicated by the fact that I do not know how much my debt is for (and am affraid that finding out will give me a heart attack and bring to a swift end my marriage) and I have a variable income.

I just don't know what to do and the stress is starting to kill me.

Pippilongstocking

Deep breathes - tackle things slowly - do your SOA the best you can (maybe put in an 'average' income - ? and post one as complete as you can - am sure folks will have a bit of advice whilst you get brave and take the next step to find out exactly what you owe...............

....... then gather up all your paperwork sit down and take a deep breath and open the lot - do it as a oner like a plaster (if you can - this is how I tackled mine).

I was brave and got a credit report a few weeks ago - it tells you most of it but not necessarily all of it - it doesnt alert folks to your checking it and I didn't have creditors bashing my door down after I looked at it

Have you also checked this site - www.entitledto.co.uk/ ?

Also check out the OS board for grocery challenge etc - I am a family of 3 (with various hangers oners in the house every week) and spend a bit less than that a week on shopping.

Hugs - good luck with it all and well done on posting - please don't have a heart attack - small steps and deep breathes - remember Rome wasn't built in a day

If it were me I'd have a bash at a SOA and let folks help you - then get brave and find out exactly what you owe......

PS once your wife sees you having a go to sort things out - maybe she'll offer to lend a hand.............

milliemonster

Firstly, get hold of your credit report, it may be that if you don't have a CCJ for your credit card then that would be statute barred anyway so they can no longer chase you for the debt.

The loan you could do a CCA request to see if that debt is enforceable or not.

But the other thing you need to do is speak things over with your wife. If you are financially linked with her in anyway then it can impact on her ability to get credit. Also, as your wife, whether she likes it or not, you are in this together and she should be supporting you and helping you to sort this out, not just saying it's not her problem, frankly when you get married you should tackle things jointly.

If you enjoy your job and it allows you time to spend with your child and you have enough joint income to pay everything then why should you try to get a better job? there is more to life than money, but again this depends on if you can afford everything on your joint incomes

starnac

you have at least taken the first step and admitted you have a problem. if you take a look around these boards you will find lots of advice and support.

you do need to find out how much you owe and to who though. it's the only way you can start dealing with the debts and start paying them off. good luck

ETA if you got a "proper" job how much would childcare cost you. it may be that the childcare costs would cancel out your wages - i work nights due to this exact problem so that i am home all day to look after DD

mrargh

fayjmck wrote: »

I was brave and got a credit report a few weeks ago - it tells you most of it but not necessarily all of it - it doesnt alert folks to your checking it and I didn't have creditors bashing my door down after I looked at it

First of all, thanks for the very kind reply. May I ask which credit report company did you go with?

starnac wrote: »

ETA if you got a "proper" job how much would childcare cost you. it may be that the childcare costs would cancel out your wages - i work nights due to this exact problem so that i am home all day to look after DD

Currently we pay £75 a week for DS to go 3 1/2 days to the childminder, but that's from 9:30 - 4:30 so would need to look at the extra cost of having him go earlier.

andymc29

I still get a littel nervous everytime I log into my online banking. You'll probably find that when you do see your overall figure in writing, it will be a kind of relief, it sounds funny, but I know most people here will agree with me. You need things in black and white, otherwise you're full of uncertainty.
Once you have your total figures, check the interest rates and see if there's any way to lower these.
Another thing to try, get a weekend job, so carry on working for yourself, seeing your son in the morning, and pick up an extra 4 or 5 hundred a month by working the weekends.

RAS

Hi

When in 2003 did you last pay the CC? If there has been a full six year break since the last payment this debt is statute barred (5 years in Scotland), unless there is a CCJ and even then they may need court permission to pursue you.

nekosuki

mrargh wrote: »

My wife has told me that it's my problem to sort out and she and our son shouldn't suffer for my stupidity, which I accept...

Jeez - no wonder you're feeling stressed if that's the kind of support you're getting from your missus! Whatever happened to "for richer or poorer"? Also, if you have any joint products (accounts, mortgage - not sure if rent contract counts?) then she's financially associated to your good self and may want to help out a little more as it will affect her credit record too!

I've no further advice, agree that getting a credit report is a good 1st step and having a big cup of tea. There's no stress that tea cannot solve!!

Best of luck!