New member needing help

haylz7

Hi,

a bit of info about mine and my husband's money problems.

In 2007 we bought our very 1st home with a Northern Rock together mortgage on a stepped rate ( i think ) , we paid £120,000 and the additional loan on top was for £30,000. 3 months later we borrowed £9,000 secured from NR as we had run out of money to do front and back gardens.

We where both working full time, combined income approx £35,000 per year before tax.

We had other debts to, as we already had a personal loan with norther rock for our wedding £10,000. car finance etc.

I became ill and was unable work early 2008, womens problems along with anxiety and depression as we where told that we had no chance of starting a family without intervention.

I temped when i was able and we where trying to make ends meet and keep up with our agreements- this made my depression worse.

We took advice from Debt Free direct and we both thought that they where our life savers ( how wrong where we ) the IVA seemed quite expensive but hey only 6 yrs we thought to be debt free.

Now due to my on off work situation they advised us to leave a few debts out of the IVA or else it would not go through- we did this and since have found out it was illegal.

the term of our IVA meant that we had to change to an interest only mortgage payment i was relieved as the mortgage had already gone up in May of 2008 as per our stepped terms.

I soon became ill again and unable to keep up with the payments, we took advice from CAB PAYPLAN NATIONAL DEBT HELPLINE who advised us to go bankrupt due to the current economical climate our situation with my health etc.

Letting the IVA fail was a long a drawn out process, we where told not to make any payments to creditors as this was illegal, most where understanding. I still suffered with depression during this time as constant correspondence from DFD remained.

As we had not paid enough into the bankruptcy they never made us bankrupt.

2009 we where paying reduced mortgage payments, then in may 2009 we got a letter saying that for the year 2009 - 2010 the mortgage payment was £1194 in total, we had had our house valued at £105,000. this was outrageous.

We surrendered our home in Aug and moved into private rented accom. I am in receipt of benefit and my husband still works.

Our house is up for sale for £92,000.

We are saving up to go bankrupt as we dont have the money to pay the fee. We are not paying any debts at all on advice from CAB.

My health is not good i am very deppressed and on medication i am miserable all of the time and never leave the house. I am unable to work .

I just want these debts to go, i need them to go i cant cope anymore. i have a really good family and some understanding friends whom i can talk to, and Dh i love him so much.

Sorry if i have gone on i have been afraid to post before.

Any help offered would be great need advice on what we are allowed to say our expenses are. we dont have anything of much value we have two old cars and when i return to work i need mine and so does my hubby.

Sometimes i feel like im drowning !

thanks for listening

Hayl x

confused76

hiya Hayl
welcome to the board, we're a friendly lot who like to listen.
i can't really offer you much advice but just wanted to say hi, and keep posting as there are many people in your situation and it's good to get it off your chest.
sounds like you've had a rough couple of years.
i'm glad you've got a good support network you can talk to.
i'm sure more people will be along who can offer advice.
all the best, don't let it drag you down it can get sorted out
hugs x

nervousmother

welcome to the board. Alot of us have had the same problems so your in good company.
I cant offer much advice at the moment, you have done the right thing with contacting the debt agencys, payplan were brilliant with my OH. In the end we too were advised to go BR and it was the best thing we did. Northern rock repossessed our old home we ended up with a massive shortfall.. all the debts were covered by our BR, although a year ago I was a nervous wreck (hense the screen name) my BR is all over now and i have been happier than ever, I hope too you soon will feel the same.

If you post up your statement of affairs maybe we can give you advice on where you can cut back in order to save for your BR fees?

Fuzzybear1976

Firstly, sorry to hear you're having a bad time but I'm guessing that practical advice is what you need not sympathy. So here's my two pennies worth....

1. If you are being hassled by phone calls then change your phone numbers.

2. Understand this - you have nothing to take now so you don't need to worry any more. You've lost your house and gone through that pain, don't let the pain continue.

3. Think about what exactly it is you are afraid of? Does it warrant the level of anxiety you apportion it? All your creditors can do is take you to court to make you bankrupt - and hey, guess what, save you the BR fee. Yey!!

4. You have a wonderful OH and great family and friends, you're rich!! You really are. Think about what you have now for now is what counts.

5. Lighten up on yourself, be kind to yourself. Plan some nice things for you like buy a funny dvd, you need a laugh, or some nice bubble bath. Give yourself a pedicure, enrol in a course.

6. Are you well enough to give a little time to charity? I've just volunteered to do some work with Kidscompany who do a wonderful job in London for under privileged kids. If you are up to it it's amazingly therapeutic to make a real difference in someone's life.

7. If you don't already, start exercising, every single day. Running is great, it's free and sometimes...you can feel your worries melting away. Don't your sites too high if you're not physically fit and aim for time rather than distance, even if you start with 10 mins a day just do it. There really are no negatives to exercise and the biggest benefit (in my opinion) is the improvement to one's mental health. Keep it up and after about 6 weeks of daily exercise you'll start to crave the endorphins and then you're really winning. Plus it will be good to be in tip top physical condition to help with your gynae probs and (fingers crossed) future fertility treatment.

8. Understand that the most painful experiences we have in life and the most difficult situations offer the greatest rewards and lessons. You're hurting but it won't last. Try to write down 5 ways that this situation will make you a better/happier/wiser more secure person when you come out of the other side. And it will, you just need to see it in the right way.

9.If you wake up feeling depressed or anxious, try to understand that these negative feelings aren't you, they're just feelings and they will pass. Thoughts and feelings are not you they are just having room space within you, try to send them packing and if they're just too stubborn some days well.....be kind to yourself and make tomorrow a little bit better.

Hope this helps, keep your chin up hun, you're not alone and many many of us have been through it. x