Think I'm finally going bankrupt! Gambling ! Can't cope!

in_a_mess_4

Hi all,

Well where do I start. I have posted on here some time ago but still continue to ignore the situation I'm in and turned to this site again, hopefully for the last time. I'll tell you all a little about my situation and I hope someone can give me some guidence as I have so many questions and my heads just one big mess at the minute.

I'm a 23 year old female who got into alot of debt at the age of 18 to about 20. I was basically handed credit on a plate (not that this is an excuse). I was young, nieve and gullable and took loan after loan out, credit cards, overdrafts and just couldnt afford to keep up with the payments and eventually ended up with defaults and ccj's all over the place. My debt totals to around 30k.
I have lived alone for the past 3 years in a small flat and it has been a constant struggle. I'm totally self dependent.

I haven't paid anything to a creditor for years and I know its wrong but I've just burried my head in the sand and tried to completely ignore it hoping it would go away but I know it won't, ever....unless I fix the problem.
I am rubbish with money and have spent wrecklessly over the years, getting paid and spending and then worryng about the bills after, I've suffered severely from mental health issues over the years, serious depression, where i didnt get out of bed for months, pannick attacks, the works!! It's literrally drove me crazy.

Over the last approx year and half I have started to gamble, trying to win money so I can get through the month...thinking "if i just win a few hundred, I can catch up with this and that bill".......obviously it doesnt work like that and the gambling has become a problem, sometimes i spend nothing for a few week,other times i spend up to hundreds in a month, which i certainly can't afford.

I can't even say i have attempted to pay my debts as I haven't, i have been sooooo stupid, i've even been on holidays , which i couldn't even afford. My head is messed up and i can't seem to get back on track. Luckily for years now I've been declined for every loan or credit card i have tried to get.

I've been advised to go bankrupt a few times ovr the years now by the cccs and more recentlyin june by the citizens advice, the thought scares me to be honest. Do i really want to be bankrupt at 23?

But on the other hand this burden, debt, shame, upset is ruling my life. I am a young 23yr old woman with alo going for me but my life literally is passing me by and has for years. I can't afford to go out on a weekend with my friends, which means i wil never meet anyone (which really doesnt bother me at this moment in time) and i cannot imagine fetching children into my life when i have this debt following me, i want my family to be stable! I know this may seem extreme but i want a life and this is in the way.

I don't have anywhere to move or anyone to move into and to be honest i really dont want to as i only feel stable when i'm living alone, i cant bare the thought of living with anyone else, i'm way too independent and it would drive me mad which is def not what i need at the min.

I am in arrears with more or less all of my bills. When i went to the cab in june they told me to get the 500 together and go bankrupt.
This worries me alot as I am scared of the consequences....

How will they look at my wreckless spending (which is reallllly bad)?
What about all the gambling? ( I have registered for counselling with gamcare today)
Why didn't i attempt to pay my creditors and why did i ignore them?
Will they take my car off me which is worth £500, really need this to get to work?
What about the expensive holidays?

I've also started a new job in july which i am enjoying which is the first time in god knows how long. I could pottenially earning a decent bonus every month in the new year, will they take my bonus off me??

I'm sorry for rambling on I just don't know where else to turn, I have noticed on here everyone seems quite clued up and supportive.

I literaly want to be a 23 year old woman again, not a depressed old woman who can't even afford to have nice clothes and go out and just sits at home all the time! seriously fed up. Why shouldn't I be able to treat myself when I've worked hard all month, why shoudn't i be able to go out once a week with my friends?

It's just al got too much and I can't bare to carry on making myself ill, I know theres people in much worse positions than me though.

I hope someone can point me in the right direction

Thanks for reading and sorry for going on xx

michael1983l

If the CAB and CCCS have advised you to go Bankrupt then it probably is the best solution for you. If you fill out an SOA and post it in this thread then I'm sure one of the experienced members will help you through it.

in_a_mess_4

Thanyou, can i get a soa template from somewhere?

markanddebbie3

Hi,

you have done the right thing getting counselling for the gambling...if you keep doing that going bankrupt wont help because you will still be struggling to make ends meet.

On the point about losing your car if you go Bankrupt, if you need it to work as you say you do then I dont think they will touch it. After all if you cant work you can pay anything back.

Bankruptcy is no easy option, but having not gone through it then cant really advise you but I would trust the advice of the CAB.

Hope things work out.

michael1983l

http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

michael1983l

Like has already been mentioned you need to get your gambling addiction sorted for when you are straight with money. I got hooked to gambling machines when I was 18 and accumilated alot of debt myself. I know its not easy, I eventually learned to think that I could only gamble the money if I could afford to lose it. If I gambled £10 and lost would I need it. I also moved away from the source, so steered clear of pubs.

Once your bankrupt though you have to promise yourself to stick to your budget, and look through the forums here and find ways to cut down on your spending. Don't see bankrupsy as an easy way to clear your debts, see it as a lesson and a fresh start. Get your life back on track. You always have the people on here to help you so keep coming back for advice.

confused76

hi inamess
sounds like you have taken advice and know what you need to do.
it sounds like you are worried about the stigma of going br - it used to be a problem and to be fair there are a few people out there who would criticise but for many it is the only way out and a chance to get their lives under control.
i've struggled for the last 5 years to pay my debts and have reached the point where i have no other viable option. i never thought this would happen to me but i need to get on and do it and hopefully come out the other side able to get on with my life.
it is good to see that you are taking positive steps towards your gambling addiction. if you go br you will need to really take control of your finances and stick to a budget, otherwise you will continue to get yourself in a mess.
i can't imagine they will take your car if it is worth £500 and you need it for work.
you have a chance to get your life back on track, but you need to be strong and be careful in future.
i'm going br next week, i am scared but know its what i need to do. i will never take out credit again unless it is a mortgage.
keep posting here, the people are so helpful and supportive.
let us know how you get on
confused76

in_a_mess_4

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet
Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 1
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 0
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1140
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1140
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 400
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 120
Electricity............................. 60
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 40
Telephone (land line)................... 13
Mobile phone............................ 20
TV Licence.............................. 25
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 10
Groceries etc. ......................... 200
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 160
Road tax................................ 20
Car Insurance........................... 65
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 28
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 11
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 30
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 1222

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 0

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Total unsecured debts..........0.........0.........-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,140
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,222
Available for debt repayments........... -82
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 0
Amount short for making debt repayments. -82
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 0
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -0
Net Assets.............................. 0
Created using the SOA calculator at www.makesenseofcards.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using IE browser.

dieselhead

I don't normally post on this board, however being a similar age (I'm 25) I felt I needed to comment. I still think from the comments you have highlighted below that you still need to come to terms with your finaces a little more. It so hard being youngish and living alone, and having to deal with the cost of living by yourself, I am always suprised how much just the bare essentials of living cost!

What worries me is when you say "why shouldn't I have nice clothes" well unfortunatly not being about to afford them is a good reason. I really looked forward to starting work after uni and being able to "treat" myself. The reality is that in my budget I have a small amount for a treat but it is just one treat so it has to be a new item of clothing or going out. And I have to accept that if my car needs some work or the electricity bill is high I don't get that treat.

Others will help you with the bankruptcy but it is so important that you accept your financial situation first.

in_a_mess wrote: »

I literaly want to be a 23 year old woman again, not a depressed old woman who can't even afford to have nice clothes and go out and just sits at home all the time! seriously fed up. Why shouldn't I be able to treat myself when I've worked hard all month, why shoudn't i be able to go out once a week with my friends?

It's just al got too much and I can't bare to carry on making myself ill, I know theres people in much worse positions than me though.

I hope someone can point me in the right direction

Thanks for reading and sorry for going on xx

in_a_mess_4

this is without puting down any debts and clothing, toiletries etc

in_a_mess_4

michael1983l wrote: »

Like has already been mentioned you need to get your gambling addiction sorted for when you are straight with money. I got hooked to gambling machines when I was 18 and accumilated alot of debt myself. I know its not easy, I eventually learned to think that I could only gamble the money if I could afford to lose it. If I gambled £10 and lost would I need it. I also moved away from the source, so steered clear of pubs.

Once your bankrupt though you have to promise yourself to stick to your budget, and look through the forums here and find ways to cut down on your spending. Don't see bankrupsy as an easy way to clear your debts, see it as a lesson and a fresh start. Get your life back on track. You always have the people on here to help you so keep coming back for advice.

I would love the chance to get back on track and i am asked for hlp for gambling (even though i am extremely embarassed as i am so young). I would love nothing more than to get paid, pay every bill and getthrough the month until the next payday without messing up. I can't express how much i would love to have that feeling, I know that sounds sad but i would be sooooo proud.

I really want to get my life back on track more than anything and this has been a horrible lesson but I will always always remember it and I never ever want anymore credit ever again!

Thankyou for your support x