Some more help needed.

Nicky321

Some members will have already seen This Post (rather than re-posting it) and hopefully getting a response.

Continuing

The 18 Yo father is having his child roughly 50/50 with the mother. However he had his child from Wed to Wed the other week and when he rang the mother up to arrange taking her home, she said she had no formula and no money to buy any, therefore he bought formula milk for the mothers home. The father provides, clothes, toys, milk, nappies, bathing products etc for the childs care when the baby is with him, and then he had to provide it for the mothers home. I wonder where the child benefit and child tax credits that are claimed by the mother are going? surely the childs needs comes first and there shouldnt be any reason for not having milk available.
The mother has now asked him to have the baby Thur, Fri, Sat and return the baby on Sun, because the mothers mum and sister are going away and she doesnt want to have the baby on her own......
The father is wondering if the baby is more of an inconvenience for the mother (or is she suffering Post Natal Depression), as when she has a day off from college, or holiday the baby is still placed into nursery. May I add when the father had the child Wed - Wed the Mon, Tue, Wed where half term holiday and he prefered to spend time with his baby rather than put her into nursery.

EDIT

The mother has asked the father if he would have the baby Wednesday also now,and also told the father she is suffering depression (but not post-natal).

The father would willingly take the place of resident parent (so as to ensure safe and responsible care of his child) but doesn't know if the mother would co-operate and give up the child benefit etc.

Any help appreciated.

shell_542

All he can really do is talk to her, isn't it? If she is not willing, could he possibly speak to CAB to see if thee is anyway of him having CB changed to him as he has the child more than 50% of the time?

Nicky321

shell_542 wrote: »

All he can really do is talk to her, isn't it? If she is not willing, could he possibly speak to CAB to see if thee is anyway of him having CB changed to him as he has the child more than 50% of the time?

Thanks for your reply, talking to her is difficult, sometimes shes ok, next shes a little pyschotic, her mood swings are terrible, which i guess is understandable with depression. I'm wondering why they are classing it as depression rather than post natal depression. As far as we are aware she never had problems with depression before she had the baby.

shell_542

Could he contact her Health Visitor or Social Worker, if one is involved, to ask for advice as its difficult to speak to her one to one? Obviously if he speaks to them pushing for the baby to be taken off of her then he may not be thought of in a great way ... but if he expresses his concerns for the baby and the Mum, they might be able to offer some advice.

If he is caring for baby more than 50% of the time I would speak to CAB about child benefit. Another person with primary care of a child can apply for it, I'm just not sure what it involves.

Paparika

if she is not working wouldn't the formunla milk be free?

shell_542

You get healthy start vouchers now, they don't cover the cost of formula completely but yes, they could be going towards it if she is claiming them.

Nicky321

Thanks again for replies.

Paparika wrote: »

if she is not working wouldn't the formunla milk be free?

shell_542 wrote:

You get healthy start vouchers now, they don't cover the cost of formula completely but yes, they could be going towards it if she is claiming them.

The mother is not working she is a F/T FE Student and receives healthy start vouchers (approx £7.00 per week), but from what we can gather, the mum of the mother (grandparent of baby) claims the CTC & CB inc Healthy Start vouchers for both the mother of the baby and the baby.

This situation is far from straight forward.... sorry.

shell_542

So why isn't the grandmother buying the formula and nappies when they run out? It does seem very unfair.

Nicky321

shell_542 wrote: »

So why isn't the grandmother buying the formula and nappies when they run out? It does seem very unfair.

My thoughts exactly!
Originally when the baby was born, the mother of the baby was claiming in her own right, but the grandmother said she was losing too much money and she wouldnt be able to pay the bills etc. (also may end up moving because cannot afford to keep the house), so the mother of baby decided to give up her right and let her mum claim for the mother and the baby. The mother works 6 hours per week and is giving her mum housekeeping money on top of the CB, CTC & HSV she is already getting.

The father of the baby, is currently at uni 5 days a week, working saturday & sunday to provide milk, nappies, clothes and other essentials for his baby when the baby is with him.

shell_542

It sounds like a really tricky situation.

Perhaps the grandmother needs reminding that the benefits she receives for the mother (and subsequently the baby) will not go on forever ... although not something you can do as a third party to the family.

As your son I would be looking at attempting to get full custody of the child or how to get the benefits switched over to him. Also I would be looking for some legal advice to get the contact written down so there is something to abide by ... none of this changing week to week depending when the mother has the baby on her own because the grandparents are away. It doesn't need to be a costly legal battle. Maybe something could be sorted through mediation.

Nicky321

shell_542 wrote: »

It sounds like a really tricky situation.

Perhaps the grandmother needs reminding that the benefits she receives for the mother (and subsequently the baby) will not go on forever ... although not something you can do as a third party to the family.

As your son I would be looking at attempting to get full custody of the child or how to get the benefits switched over to him. Also I would be looking for some legal advice to get the contact written down so there is something to abide by ... none of this changing week to week depending when the mother has the baby on her own because the grandparents are away. It doesn't need to be a costly legal battle. Maybe something could be sorted through mediation.

How would the father go on about attempting to get full custody of the baby and benefits switched over to him. He would need the cooperation of both the mother and grandmother wouldnt he. Also would he be able to afford legal advice? could it be sorted through the CAB?

Sorry to ask lots of questions, but i worry for the baby.