Question:- What do you do when you have childrens friends to tea?

Outdoorlass

Hi all

Wanted to pick your brains really.

My DD often has someone around for tea from school, its usually thrust on me last minute as she often asks me infront of said child and said childs parent, leaving me little leeway to say no I don't mind her having friends around, its good for her to be social and they do need a release after school, the problem I am having is budgeting this into my grocery spend and meal planning:rolleyes:

For example I have lots of fresh vege to use up and today I planned to have a roast dinner, then I found out we were having one of DD friends for tea. I don't know if the child would eat roast dinner, so it puts me in a predicament, as often when DD goes to her pals for tea, she usually gets given, nuggets, chips, pizza or something like that. So I am struggling, as I don't want the children to feel unhappy with what I give them to eat. So this morning I have had to go out and buy stuff in, which seems such a waste of money and energy as now I have to cook two seperate meals and frankly its driving me nuts.

It really is having a bad effect on my grocery challenge spending, as I am often having to go to the supermarket at the drop of a hat on the way home from school to buy in for the friend that has come to tea, of course that leaves me in the supermarket with DD and friend, which then often results in having to buy sweets too, as I feel I can;'t say no. As a one off now and then its not so bad, but this can happen twice or three times a week and it really does start to add up, help!

I just wondered how OS people go about this situation?

Thanks

hot.chick

i think I'd be inclined to say in front on child and parent - we're having so and so for tea - will you eat that?

If they say no - then say maybe another time.

(easy for me to commet as i don't have children!)

mumoftwo

I told my kids not to put me on the spot but sometimes that can't be avoided when they make plans at school during the day.

And it turned out, my daughters' friends loved my home cooking and told me their mothers just throw something out of a packet into the oven and they can't cook well at all, they told my daughter she is lucky to have a mum who can cook.
So you might well be surprised even if you asked a little one: Would you eat roast chicken, that they say no at first but when it gets put in front of them they eat it and love it, so maybe not asking in advance can be a good thing.
And kids will eat something when in company that they won't eat at home, strange creatures, kids!

Don't spoil your plans and budget to buy extra stuff for them, if they don't like it then they can have something when they go home, I wouldn't make a fuss if they didn't eat it.
I usually whip up a simple chocolate sponge too, or some cupcakes, again, the guests were not used to homebaking and were so happy with a simple bit of cake.

Hope that helps and good luck. You might be pleasantly surprised that your little guests will love your homecooking, no more extra spending for you.

culpepper

I used to discuss friends to tea with my kids at home without said friend. I think most people do.It also gives you the get out clause if friend X is not a person who behaves appropriately at your house because you can point that out to your child without it being discussed in front of X's parents.
If they do ask in front of you at school, You can always say Yes and then add the proviso.. we can have X round on thursday, rather than just say YES on the spur of the moment.
It means you can have an easy meal for the kids on that day and discuss with their parents things like allergies or food dislikes without it being last minute.

Olliebeak

hot.chick wrote: »

i think I'd be inclined to say in front on child and parent - we're having so and so for tea - will you eat that?

If they say no - then say maybe another time......

Well done - great way to handle the situation .

Have you thought about some home-made chicken nuggets/goujons? You'll at least know what's in them .

jomo70

I agree with mum of two...they can come to tea but if they don't eat whats on offer..tough! or I would say "not tonight darling but maybe....".then add whatever day is good for you.

samanthaneww2d

hot.chick wrote: »

i think I'd be inclined to say in front on child and parent - we're having so and so for tea - will you eat that?

If they say no - then say maybe another time.

(easy for me to commet as i don't have children!)

well i do have children and this would be my response I would also not be afraid to say no as you have already organised tea for tonight but another day would be better

horsechestnut

Don't let your child run the family!
As others have said, either tell your daughter that this will be discussed at home and she is not to put you on the spot or say what you are having for your meal and if this is acceptable then the child may visit, or arrange for a visit on a different day, which you can link in with collecting the child from school so that the parent doesn't have to.

Mum_on_a_mission_2

As a mother to a child with a serious allergy - we always organise "tea" visits in advance. What DS eats or can't eat needs to be discussed etc. Also do the friends have the same lunch at school - ie both packed or both school hot lunches?

But I have to say I cook tea as I would usually and only change for allergies - same goes for all of the children, this is tea and there's no alternative. Its much easier to plan given a couple of days notice isn't it? And children can understand the concept.

Moam

Outdoorlass

Thanks all for the replies so far.

I agree 100% its much easier for me if these playdates are pre-planned and I have tried so many times to achieve this. My DD knows shes not meant to put me on the spot, yet sometimes this still happens, I think kids just don 't think like we do. Plus it doesn't help that the other parents seem to accept the on the spot arrangemnets and go along with what their children ask, it seems to be the norm:rolleyes: Also a lot of children have activities/hobbies after school, so what is a good day for me may not be for them, so I think this is why, the "on the spot arrangemnets" get made, they are free, we are free, thats how it seems to go.

I will definately have another chat with DD and try and explain the situation from my POV. I will also try out the suggestions made here, I always ask if a child has an allergy or dislike, so perhaps I should just say we are having roast chicken dinner, is that ok? See how that works, so many children now eat the processed stuff, that I just feel reluctant to give them HM food incase its really alien to them and they really don't like it, I would feel bad sending home a hungry child

Thanks

Skint_Catt

And I would feel bad giving my children (or friends children) the kind of carp that is reformed chicken nuggets/turkey twizzlers! As said before I often ate things at friends houses that I wouldn't at home either because my parents just didn't cook things like that (so I didn't know I didn't like it) or I didn't want to look daft in front of my friend