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First real life experience of advising a friend

Hi folks, it's been a busy day for me.

I've met for the first time in two years with a friend of mine, she's lovely but very gullable and has severe learning difficulties.

She moved down to London and then Manchester with her boyfriend.. a mutual friend so rather messy. He's looked after her for nearly 8 years but has been playing away - it all kicked off last new year and she has fianlly been able to come back home up north (he's been messing with her head, having her sleeping in the spare room in the hope that they'll get back together in the future because he needed her DLA to help pay the mortgage. It's rather messy and i'm quite upset about what has gone on but i'm really worried about her financially.

She's named on the mortgage and has tried to convince her to stay on that mortgage, she doesn't want to because she wants a clean start and is trying to get him to sell the house. Why would he want to keep her name on the mortgage, it seems that my nice mate is totally up the creek (like the best of us!) financially so to want to keep her on the mortgage (she's not paying anything now) feels a little underhand to me. I'm worrying about shortfall repurcusions for her.. could this be what he's thinking as he's asked for her new address. I asked her if she had any joint debts and she said he wanted to have her on a credit card of his (don't understand this) but she thinks it didn't go through. I know that she's never had a bank account till this month so she shouldn't be connected to him that way.

I just feel so helpless, all the time trying to prise info out of her so I can see where she stands finacially, what the repurcusions could be for her, trying not to let on that i'm bankrupt and trying not to worry her.

This new role as a skint's shoulder to cry on teks it oota ya!

Comments

  • tigerfeet2006
    tigerfeet2006 Posts: 14,030 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    The reason she is still on the mortgage is the only way he can remove her is to remortgage and I am guessng that no mortgage provider willgive him a mortgage on just his income.

    Not sure if there is any way to get her removed until the property has been sold and as you know she will be equally responsible for the shortfall.

    Hopefully someone can give you some better advice tomorrow.

    Might be worth her getting copies of all her credit files.
    BSCno.87
    The only stupid question is an unasked one
    Loving life as a Kernow Hippy
  • There is the possibility, though it is a tough call to use it, that your friend is not capable of being responsible for a mortgage which would make it unenforceable against her on the grounds of her mental disability.

    An institution is not going to want to have to argue why they gave someone a mortgage if they are not mentally capable and I think they would rather such a problem just went away quietly.
  • MicheH
    MicheH Posts: 2,631 Forumite
    Thank you both for your views.

    I've spoken with him and he wants to stay in the house and you're right he wants to have her name on the mortgage for the remaining 3 years. She wants a clean start and is being guided by her Gran (who I think is using this to get back at him, mess him around) who insists the house should be sold to rid her of it.

    He's got it on the market at what he bought it for, in there is £2000 of his money and £8000 of his dads and has no inention of letting it go for any less. He realises it won't sell at what he's asking for because it's the price of 2 years ago. He's just playing along, keep her happy believing that the house is going to sell and you know what I don't blame him. They're both tied one way or another but as long as each party is doing ok then who am I to rock the boat.

    I hate fallout and hate being in the middle.

    Thanks for replying, I should have just asked him but I was so annoyed at him yesterday
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