scottishspendaholic May update

scottishspendaholic

Hi everyone,

Here is a link to my first scintilating update thread for those who want a wee sleep!:-

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=183766

Anyway - felt it was time for another update as the road's a bit tough at the moment. Here goes...!

I've not been doing very well on the money saving recently. I've been earning quite a bit on eBay but have really shot myself in the foot by keeping the money in my paypal account to try and keep it all together to do a big payment to my Barclaycard next week but have instead, ended up overdrawn on my current account as I've had to use my own money to pay for lots of postage etc. I've also been using my own money to be a real greedy pig and have been buying breakfast and lunch most days (even when I've brought my own!). I owe work some (£20) in petty cash and will get charged by the bank £58 next month for being over my overdraft this month by £28 (even though I am in the middle of a court claim (more on that later) - more recent debts - grrrr.

I am really :mad: with myself as I started off so positive and determined and just can't get back to that happy-go-lucky mindset. I feel resentful that everyone else has nice clothes (I seriously have like none and they are all so cheap and nasty), everyone has holidays planned and just feel generally down in the dumps. So it means I'm spending money on sh*te I don't need - usually for me, that's junk food and household cr*p.

I know this is all a garble, but can't explain it in a better way. The upshot is that I spoke to my OH last night (who, for anyone who is following the story, is still involved and supportive although is there when I need him rather than knowing every wee detail) and we have agreed that I will have to use most of the money in my paypal account to pay off recent debts accrued (bank charges, money to bring my account back to non-over-my-overdraft status, library fines, work petty cash, eBay fees etc) and will be having a month of paying just my minimum payment to my debts in May. This was a difficult decision to come to last night but I was going to use all this money to do a big payment (my goal for this month was to make £294 ish so that my B/card balance would be £1k exactly inc. min. payment of £26 made in May) but then I was so worried about how to raise all the money in the next couple of weeks to pay off the recent debts as above that I have made a decision to start afresh and wipe the slate clean. If that means putting my DFD back a month or so then so be it.

I am worried about how to make further overpayments. I don't have a lot spare to throw at my debts so try and use money earned through eBay and babysitting to overpay. I have nothing valuable left to eBay and the orders for wedding favours have dried up in the past couple of weeks. Babysitting is so irregular that the money can't be counted upon. So how do I overpay in June and in the future?

The other thing is that I have a job interview tomorrow at 11am - that I have been really worrying about. So much. Its for a job paying £6k more and that extra few £hundred a month would make such a difference to my debt repayments and my quality of life. I know this, believe me. However, I have made the decision tonight, not go to the interview. Its the simple fact that I don't want the job. I really love the job I do now - it feels really worthwhile and I really believe in it (sorry, too many reallys!) and I don't want to leave the industry I work in etc, etc - I could go on justifying my decision - but if I got the job (long shot), I may well be miserable and I've been in jobs I hate before and I get so stressed and take it out on everyone around me - it just doesn't seem worth it, especially since I am so happy where I work just now (with the odd wobbly moment). The only reasons I want the job are for the money, because the contract is until May 2009 (current contract is until March 2007 but will probably be extended) and because its on the 'right' side of town for me - easier to commute to! I don't think any of those are good enough reasons.

Arguably I should maybe go for the interview experience - but my OH thinks it will show through that I don't want the job so is a waste of time and I could really do with the day off (annual leave from current job) to just potter about and relax. I don't know about you guys but since I started with the MSE ways, I rarely have a moment to myself - I'm either listing on eBay, glass painting (my wee business on eBay - which is v. time consuming), sorting out a financial thing (i.e transferring a balance, doing online banking etc), batch cooking or completing one of my other goals for the week as well as commuting 3+ hours a day to work... I feel really worn out. I know I should spend tomorrow cleaning and tidying but honestly think - for my health, I'm going to do some sleeping and putting my feet up. So sorry if this is a bad thing to do and not very MSE but I feel like I'm going to fall over with exhaustion.

Some of you will have read my post on the DFW Bank Charges Reclaim Thread. I submitted my claim at the start of this month against RBS for £734 (max can claim for in Scotland is £750 in small claims). In Scotland, the court things are a bit different. RBS have to respond to my claim by 19th June and the court date is already set for 26th June, there's no allocation questionnaire etc - and it seems to me, very little time for them to offer me any kind of settlement (presuming they do submit a defense) between 20th and 26th June. Its going to be hairy and I feel really shaky about it.

Positive things - I am doing my first car boot this weekend and even though its just in my village, I am confident of hopefully making a wee bit of money and am also babysitting on Saturday night so hopefully £20 or so there too. This money will be used in a sensible way - waiting to see what the total is to see what the best use of this money will be.

I am hoping to plan some nice things to do in the summer as I am off for two weeks at the end of July, beginning of August. I am hoping to put past £10 a week out of my £20 weekly 'me' money from now until then to have a wee bit of cash to have fun charity shop browsing, go to see some 2-for-1 shows at the Edinburgh Fringe, have a picnic and climb an Edinburgh hill, paint the hall etc on my hols. Nothing expensive, but just to give me SOMETHING to look forward to. My OH is a teacher so he'll be off too and we can spend some much needed time together

Anyway - be gentle - I would appreciate your support and comments. I know what I need to do to get back in line - spending diary, be discplined, be creative about what will sell on eBay, do more batch cooking - I just need to motivation (but please don't be hard on me, I don't think I can take it tonight ;!)

Lots of love and thanks again to everyone for all their advice and just 'being' there for me.

scottishspendaholic x

P.S. Apologies for the length of this post - great to get it all off my chest thought!

mountainofdebt

Haven't been around much myself either so its good in a way to catch up with some of the old faces.

I know what you mean about feeling resentful about not being able to buy anything new......am going away in a couple of months and could do with some new togs myself but at the back of my mind I'm always thinking about clearing the debt. Why not set yourself a target of say clearing one debt and then treating yourself to something that you wouldn't normally? The other way of looking at the situation is not to look how far you have to go but how far you've come ......if someone had told me last August that 9 months later I could have cleared £1800 off one credit card I would have laughed at them but I have and I'm on course to clear the card by the end of the year.

If you can't make an overpayment in June then is it really the end of the world??? I look at the situation like this - so long as I don't ADD to the debt I'm happy - although I know what you mean about wanting to make overpayments.

As for the interview - I know exactly what you meanhaving my own work woes....sometimes happiness is far more precious than £££ - and yes I know that is a very un-MSE thing to admit. So if you really wouldn't take the job if it was offered to you then don't go for the interview ....why stress yourself up further for no point.

As for your reclaiming bank charges, I have a sneeky suspicion that the banks are testing our nerves and that you will get an offer before it gets anywhere near a court. As I've said in my thread, Natwest (who are part of RBS) wrote with a defence and to be honest, made me wonder had I thrown £120 away. Anyway someone on the consumeractiongroup web site drafted me a WONDERFUL letter and I sent it on the 22nd 1st. By return of post I had a reply saying that they still thought I had no chance in a court but as a goodwill guesture they'd give me £1200 (bearing in mind with interest/court costs the claim was for £2500!). I've given it some thought and can't imagine why on God's green earth they would give me £1200 if they thought they would win in court - abit like admitting you're guilty in court when you know you're innocent....so guess I'm going to refuse their offer.

What I'm trying to say is that this reclaiming bank charges (especially if you're after a fair amount) is abit like playing poker......a game of seeing who blinks first and at the mo it seems that the banks are blinking like crazy. keep the faith girl .....

QueenB.

I can't see why anyone would be hard on you scottishspendaholic.

OK so you strayed alittle, we all have at least you have had the courage to admit to it and once again are doing something positive about it.

I for one say stay at the job you love, yes the other job pays more but you know yourself best and why make yourself so unhappy over money.

I know how hard it is when everyone has nice things and is planning holidays (for me it is especially the lack of holidays which is hurting most) but just keep doing as you are doing, planning all those little trips and things to do it will not only give you something to look forward to but will keep that creative side of yours busy.

As for putting your feet up you really deserve it, this kind of lifestyle is exhausting but for me MSE and especially DFW is about my health and quality of life, so with all that extra work comes much earned you time.

Good luck with the car boot (we are doing one on Monday)

and big HUGS

sammy115

(((((((((((((((Big hugs scottish)))))))))))))))

Yes this lifestyle is exhausting. I think you have made the right decision to saty in the job you love. From what I know being in a stressful higher paying job is only likely to have an adverse effect on MSE. You end up relieving the stress by spending money. Don't worry about it taking longer to pay your debts (at least you are paying your debts).
(((((((Hugs again!))))))))

fairylights_2

Hey scottish!

I'm sorry to read you're feeling down. You were going really well, and with such gusto! Try to keep feeling good, even if things aren't working as well as you might have hoped. At the end of the day, you would have only paid your min payment six months ago, so any extra (even if it's just determination and not actual payment) can only be a good thing.

Tough call on the job thing - I don't know whether I'd go for the money or stay where I liked being. Just so long as you're happy, your debts will get paid off eventually.

Chin up!

ms_london

Hi SS. (((((hugs)))))

Dont be too hard on yourself - you have done amazingly well & you juggle so many balls, its no wonder you feel as though you need some time off from MSE!!

I hope you enjoy your day off tomorrow (I have a day off too. Yaaay!!) Just do whatever takes your fancy & dont feel guilty if you end up lounging around all day or you dont get all the things you NEED to get done,er, done!!

If you are truly happy in your job, then I would stay as money isnt everything, although if the job appeals to you even a tiny little bit (and not just the extra money), perhaps go? It might even be a confidence boost if you get offered the job knowing that you could get the £6K (?) more - and perhaps use that as a bargaining tool in your current job for a payrise?

I left my last job last July & took this one, with a £4K payrise. It meant that I could afford to give up my second job (I was being underpaid as it was in last position!!) - and despite the fact that this company isnt sociable at all (last company was), the money has made such a difference & I am pleased I made the move...

Take some time to recharge your batteries - you are always so motivated & I love reading your posts, so you do deserve some "you" time!! I know what you mean about having things to look forward to, those little things you have planned sound great - and of course you have the DFW social (I hope you can still make it? - you can crash at mine if you need to.!)

Enjoy your day tomorrow & look forward to reading another update soon.

xx

Annie_Fanny

Hey Scottish...

From the tone of your post it does sound like you are tired and we all know the effects of tiredness...less ability to cope...not enough energy to do the things we need to do - batch cooking etc...so like you said it is probably best to have a early night or afternoon nap if you can. Maybe have a lovely bath and then an early night. I'm sure you will wake up tomorrow with renewed vigour!

You have done SO well over £1600 paid off your debts in 4 months - WOW! Don't be hard on yourself as what you have achieved is amazing!

As a thought I always have to post up a solution - have you put any ads up in the local newsagent or wherever advertising your babysitting service? Just a thought!

Anyway take it easy. Take stock, celebrate what you have achieved so far and put on your favourite upbeat sound and dance around in the kitchen - works for me!

Big thumbs up to you!

Annie
Xx

lynzpower

Hey scottish spendaholic

HAve you thought of posting your babysitting on gumtree.com -theres quite a lively section in childcare on the london one- free to post as well i think.

LJD1_2

Big hugs to you. I don't blame you for deciding to stay in the job you love. 10 years ago I left a well paid but stressful job to become self employed. I've not regretted one single minute. Yip, we don't have much disposable income but I'm happy and love what I do. Life is too short to not enjoy your work if at all possible. Take care and good luck clearing those debts.

Avogirly

Hi SS,
It's really difficult to know what to do about your job, but I know that I love both my jobs and although I could work elsewhere (London as I live near) for more money. I would much rather be at home in the office with my dog and my family close by, then working in the evenings in the theatre. We spend so much time at work that to enjoy it helps! Hope you get my drift!
Avo
xXx
PS You're doing really well with all the hard work you're putting in, soon you'll be reaping the rewards!

scottishspendaholic

Hi everyone,

Thanks so much for your posts and your support - it really means a lot to me.

Well, I didn't go to the interview - my heart wasn't in it and I just felt worn out so I've had a lazy morning browsing on MSE and going into the nearest town to mooch round the charity shops. My OH's birthday is in 6 weeks so I started off by buying him a charity shop book at £1.40! Think I might start a personal mission to get him lots of pressies for under £10 or £15 - any ideas? He's into music, a particular Scottish football team (not one of Old Firm) and loves primates (chimps etc). Strange, but I love him!

I do feel okay for not going to the interview. I had a wee wobble this morning when I read some replies on this thread - but I knew that it was the right decision. No chance of a payrise in my current job as its project funded (complicated) so no negotiating power! The new job was a big step to strategic management, writing policies etc - and although I do have career ambition - I also like coming in in my jeans (my current job is really relaxed), having the odd lazy day and all my lovely friends at work - and of course, I love my job.

I'm planning an afternoon of cooking a roast dinner for my OH (just been to the farm shop), doing some glass painting and chilling out. Feel 100 x better than I did this time yesterday.

Thanks again to you all - any more suggestions, ideas, keep 'em coming!

scottishspendaholic x

P.S. That's a great idea about gumtree Lynz - however, I'm not near enough a city to make it financially worthwhile to advertise my babysitting services there (it would cost me as much to get into Edinburgh and back than I would earn) - but will see if there is any way round that. I am also definitely going to put up flyers, just haven't got round to it! I have an advert in my local freesheet at the moment (£30 for 3 months).