my ex says.......

cloverfan

I should not be going BR as he will get all the joint debt and i am dropping him in it!!!!!:mad::mad::mad:

Deep_in_Misery

To that i must answer, your ex should have thought about becoming your ex and dropping you in it with 6 children, 2 of whom need special help.

Don't hesitate, just do it.

fermi

Look after number 1. Yourself and the kids.

I'm sure he's big enough to sort his own problems.

skylight

Awww... poor ex. In a way, I kind of feel sorry for him.





Thats it. Sympathy over.

Look after yourself and the kids. Don't tell him anything now until you have done it. He is no longer your problem (an assumption that he was in the first place!!) and he will just have to be a big boy and deal with it.

dojoman

Your children and yourself must come first, don`t waste time worrying over your ex, just do what is best for you and your family.

mattcanary

Deep in Misery, how do you know OP's ex dropped her in it. Don;t assume before you know the full facts!

skylight

mattcanary wrote: »

Deep in Misery, how do you know OP's ex dropped her in it. Don;t assume before you know the full facts!

**cough**

Clovers ex was a cheating sod and she finally dumped him. Bought his situation upon himself.

On a users name, if you click on it it comes up with some options and there you can see other posts made by the user. So we can be nosey and check up on each other!!!

marmalady

cloverfan wrote: »

I should not be going BR as he will get all the joint debt and i am dropping him in it!!!!!:mad::mad::mad:

I kind of had the same done to me, my ex went down the debt management route and was getting a financial statement in place which the meant for our joint loan i would be responsible for the whole amount. I offered to make repayments for half of the original amount but bank wouldnt accept it. However he decided not to follow thru and just stopped paying everything so it still came my way forcing me to go BR even tho i was managing my own finances well. We had agreed instead of maintenance he would make whole payment on joint loan. But now its done the reverse since ive gone BR he will have to as he cant manage his finances or be bothered too!! For me its a sense of relief not to have to wait/check that he has paid half the mortgage and loan payment as i spent thousands bailing him out to make up his half as were jointly responsible. Now i will be free of him financially, its not nice for your ex but you need to have a life to no one can predict whats going to happen down the line but in the future will be a lot more careful about adding my name to anyone elses credit arrangements.......but not likely to happen as i never want credit again lol will stick with cash and living within my means.

dollparts

If I really stop and think about it, much of my stress is having to tell my ex that I am no longer responsible for his mess.

I tried my hardest to keep us both afloat, managed to pay his DMP, opened and dealt with all his corresspondence day in day out. Not just when we were married but up to 2years after he left!

I think he will faint when I tell him what I am about to do. I know he is capable of working it out but the fact that he will have no choice will send him into orbit. He will be so shocked because I am the last person in the world to him that would go BR.

Tommorow is the day I do it. I can eat, sleep or see straight with the worry of it all. I have filled out my SOA at least 3 times completely, checked and double triple and then again my calculations to make sure they are all correct. I have even scrapped it and started all again if I couldn't make sense of what I had worked out.

I have gone through it until it doesn't even feel like I've done it at all.

It's a worry, what he will say/how he will react. Not in a scary way but in a way that makes me think maybe he just won't bother with any of it either. He's like that you see. Turn the other cheek and it will all go away.

I had to do what I had to do. So do you cloverfan.

You need to protect yourself and look after your future so you can be there for your children.

Let him sort things through for himself. That's one dependent you can live without.

skylight

Dolls - don't tell him until afterwards. I am not suggesting he has any control over you but for an easier life then tell him afterwards - there is naff all he can do/say after.

tigerfeet2006

Cloverfan I am afraid I agree with everyone else. Don't tell him anything.