My Status

poorgrad

I had an interview for a administration position a few months ago and I wore my engagement ring. The interviewer asked me if I was engaged and when I planned to get married. I never got that job.

So I wised up and have never worn my engagement ring to an interview again. I had a subsequent interview for a retail position and was really surprised that they asked whether I was married, living with a boyfriend or have any kids. I told them no to all of the above. I was even more shocked to hear the interviewer say 'we don't judge you on it but we need to understand how flexible you are - as we need someone who can work late at night and if you have kids you can't really do that.' Now, if i'm applying for a job and I really really want it and have small kids surely I would find a way to get around this??! I just find the entire process really shallow when it comes to women and how they fit into the workplace. Rant over.

LittleVoice

They were very silly to tell you that as I would not expect them to reach the same conclusion about a male applicant.

Emily1990_2

Refuse to answer the question next time, ask them how it is relevant and perhaps point out how it is illegal to discriminate (as Little Voice said-would they ask them same of a male candidate?).

I've encountered this in a job interview, at the time I answered as I wasn't expecting it, but if I got asked again I would certainly challenge it.

EDIT: I would also like to add-so long as your children aren't going to impact upon your work severely (ie you can work the hours they have specified without interruption etc) it's none of their bloody business. Your personal life is exactly that, personal.

bristol_pilot

Simply ask politely whether they will be asking male candidates the same question.

Then if you don't get the job, sue them.

julie2710

This sort of thing is wrong and infuriating. You can in fact ask why you didn't get the position and you are also able to challenge them on whether they treated you fairly vs any male counterparts. When performing interviews questioning has to be noted and transparent in order that all candidates can be proven to have been asked the same questions.

I too have come across this when I was a manager for a company, someone interviewing people alongside me asked one candidate when he was thinking of retiring:eek: I politely pointed out that this line of questioning was not permissable! I also had a senior director of the company who at the end of a round of interviews suggested that I reconsider offering the role to what was clearly the best candidate as she was of indian ethnicity, recently married and the chance are she would be under presseure to get pregnant soon!:eek: That said I eventually sued the same company for sexual discrimination after I got pregnant and they made me redundant!:mad:
Who said it isn't a man's world? All we can do is keep fighting!

Good luck in the future, but what I would say is that perhaps the kind of company who treat you this way in the interview is perhaps not a decent enough company for you to be working for anyway! Try and remember an interview is a two way thing and maybe you should question them on the discrimination policies?

poorgrad

Thanks all, I thought that I was going mad. Does this mean that I will also need to remove my wedding ring when I get married? I mean, what gives employers the right to ask questions like this? Maybe it's cos i'm getting older as I don't remember having these kinda problems when I was under 20.

Now the thing is... I have been offered a job. They never asked any questions about my personal status. But they did ask if I had any holidays for the next year and I said 'yes, I am going to a wedding.' But I didn't tell them that it was my wedding! The things that we have to do to get by. Totally ridiculous.

poorgrad

bristol_pilot wrote: »

Simply ask politely whether they will be asking male candidates the same question.

Then if you don't get the job, sue them.

I'm sure that they would find another stupid excuse for not giving me the job. The same employer that didn't give me the job said their reason was 'I didn't bring a portfolio of my marketing work.' Ermmm, I was applying for an admin assistant role! Why would I need to show off my marketing work?

poorgrad

Emily1990 wrote: »

Refuse to answer the question next time, ask them how it is relevant and perhaps point out how it is illegal to discriminate (as Little Voice said-would they ask them same of a male candidate?).

I've encountered this in a job interview, at the time I answered as I wasn't expecting it, but if I got asked again I would certainly challenge it.

EDIT: I would also like to add-so long as your children aren't going to impact upon your work severely (ie you can work the hours they have specified without interruption etc) it's none of their bloody business. Your personal life is exactly that, personal.

I wasn't expecting it either. But now that I have I am like a woman scorned - determined to not let it happen again! I think there is a new work culture where everyone wants to know everyone else's business.

poorgrad

julie2710 wrote: »

I too have come across this when I was a manager for a company, someone interviewing people alongside me asked one candidate when he was thinking of retiring:eek: I politely pointed out that this line of questioning was not permissable! I also had a senior director of the company who at the end of a round of interviews suggested that I reconsider offering the role to what was clearly the best candidate as she was of indian ethnicity, recently married and the chance are she would be under presseure to get pregnant soon!:eek: That said I eventually sued the same company for sexual discrimination after I got pregnant and they made me redundant!:mad:
Who said it isn't a man's world? All we can do is keep fighting!

Good luck in the future, but what I would say is that perhaps the kind of company who treat you this way in the interview is perhaps not a decent enough company for you to be working for anyway! Try and remember an interview is a two way thing and maybe you should question them on the discrimination policies?

That is so wrong! People like you need to be in positions of power. The funny thing is that it was women who interviewed me in both cases. Why are we so nasty to each other? What happened to us ladies sticking together?! x

pinkshoes

As an unmarried 30 year old female with no children (but wanting 3!!), then if I were an employer, I would employ a male over me any day I'm afraid.

If they employed me, then I took 3 x 12 months off to have kids over a 7 year period (which I would), then I would imagine the company would be rather p*ssed off, and kicking themselves that the didn't go for the male candidate!

Saying that, I would lie in an interview about wanting kids if they asked, but if I already had kids and they wanted someone who could stay late when required, I would tell them I had a very supportive partner would managed the child care, so it would never be an issue.



I think you have to be VERY careful when answering questions about your personal status, because if you tell them it's none of their business, you come across as being defensive - it's a sign you might cause the company problems.

SueC_2

If you look for discrimination anywhere you can find it.

I am a single, child-less, female who works full time and always has done.

I don't get time off when my children are sick, or to attend their school assemblies. I am asked not to take my annual leave entitlement during school holidays, so that those with children can. In fact, during any of these occasions I am expected to work longer/harder to compensate for the absent parents. I am not paid any extra in return for this.

When we have family days, I 'get less' because only I attend, not me, my husband and my five children.

If I were to die, all of my pension contributions would have been wasted as I would have no dependents to benefit.

Is this discrimination, or my own stupid fault for not getting married and having kids?

We all make our choices in life, and have to live with the consequences.