I am so scared

January_Embers

I am so scared & worried about our financial situation. I can't see any way out. We have a DMP with Payplan which is going to take years to pay off. Hubby owes money all over the place & we had to pay out to get the car fixed the other week, an unforeseeable event but one which we couldn't afford. In paying the bill for the car repair we are now behind in our mortgage payments for the first time & I really don't like it.
We had a long chat last night as I still don't think he really realises the enormity of the situation & he is going to take on extra work. He didn't want to as he is worried about me & how I'll manage (I am disabled with a young daughter) but I told him we don't have a choice. Needs must & all that :rolleyes: .
At the end of July he will get a tax bill and I just don't know how we are going to pay it.
The constant worry is not doing my health any good. I just wish there was more I could do. I sell on eBay every week & I make things to sell when my hands are ok.

GreyPilgrim

Sorry to hear about your situation there. supportive hug on the way. Do you think you ccan get through to your husband? Do you think he maybe has grasped the enormity of it all but is in a bit of denial? We have a friend whose husband seems to have his eyes closed to their situation too - both of them work but he's still spending money on crap, fast food blah blah blah and they're knocking up HUGE fees by constantly going overdrawn, having direct debits bounced back.

I wish there was some way I could help but I'm sure there will be others who can post and be a bit more constructive

Spirited_2

Good Morning January,

Firstly, you were very brave to post your worries here, and I hope we can help you. All I can say is that it is right to be concerned about your debts, as without that you couldn't summon the motivation to tackle them. However, it is only money, and if you find that you are getting depressed over your finances, please speak to your GP. Depression can be treated. your health is paramount, without your health you cannot get out of this, so look after it.

Perhaps we could help with the specifics if you post your SOA.

Lots of love xxx

lynzpower

Have you done an SOA for your DMP before? Was the DMP taken out a while ago?

Is it that your OH is self-employed that makes it difficult to budget?

Hang in there, there will be a solution xx

southernscouser

Hey JE!

As Lynz says, post a full SOA on here and we'll see if we can help you make any cut-backs! Have a look at this thread for a guide!


Also have a look at this site to see if you are claiming everything you are entitled to.

January_Embers

Thank you both for your kind thoughts & advice. He takes a packed lunch to work but I know for a fact if he has to pop out for anything (post a letter, get milk, whatever) he'll more than likely stop by the pasty shop or Burger King as well:rolleyes: and buys a bag of buns for the girls at work. I have told him this has to stop but he just says, "oh its only a pound or two & its not everyday".

I made him cancel ALL the direct debit and that has helped alot. We did have a bit of minor bother from some companies who said that that only accepted payment via DD but I clearly told them that they would now be paid by another method & they were ok after that.

I think everything seems worse at the moment as we've had the car to pay out for, etc and I'm feeling rough. Still, made a little bit on eBay this week so that will help.:)

January_Embers

The DMP was started in Nov of last year. Because he is self employed sometimes he doesn't get paid on time. Which doesn't help as you can imagine!
I need to go away & sort out our SOA, can't do it all from memory
I will check the benefits again, I am on DLA but I don't think we can claim anything else as hubby is working full time. They don't take into account that most of our money goes on the DMP & the rest on the mortgage.

GreyPilgrim

January_Embers wrote:

I have told him this has to stop but he just says, "oh its only a pound or two & its not everyday".

Killer attitude! Done it myself so many times. Ask him if he's prepared to keep a strict debt diary for a couple of months and see how the odd 'couple of pounds' mounts up. Not being patronising - but I did it myself and it does knock you back how much it mounts up to.

lynzpower

ts_aly2000 wrote:

This site might be the saviour, they're very good on there

http://www.debtquestions.co.uk/debt_forum/

HEY!! Were pretty good here too!! :beer: