Your thought's please

gareth01422

skypie123 wrote: »

I don't have any real advice for you Gareth as only you can know if this relationship is something you want to work at and save. Communication is paramount in my experience to sorting things out so maybe sit down and try and tell her how you feel or show her the orginial post?
I hope you work things out one way or another and find some peace soon though.
x

I agree, Ithink I'm going to give it till sunday then try have an adult convosation with her about where we are going and what needs to be done if we are going to have future together.

Dinah93

gareth01422 wrote: »

Believe me i have tried, Ive tried the shouting approach, the calm adult approach and all i get is one word answers or nothing at all. she just looks down her nose and says nothing. And yes i totally agree, we have no trust at all. mine is of the night on my birthday, hers is probably from the dating sites 3 years ago. I know its no excuse , its all tit for tat. but sleeping with someone else is a whole new ball game. Once someone has done it, nothing will ever change.

thank you again.......these constructive comments are helping a lot

babymoo wrote: »

If a relationship is that hard work then its not worth it. Yes relationships are difficult but not to the point where your checking up on each other and playing stupid games. Its a year on you can't forgive her, you don't trust her and its making you and probably her and kids miserable.

There are 2 decent things you can both do. Agree its over. And hand your driving licenses back. Drinking and Driving kills and it always kills the innocent.

gareth01422 wrote: »

The last year has been tough for us both, a month after all this happened i was made redundant so that as added presure onto the relationship. But me and my gf have always argued and its usually over stupid things or over someone else is involved.

End of the day, we dont trust each other and we probably have more resons to split up than we do to stay together.

These are the paragraphs that leap out at me. With no trust in a relationship I think you're flogging a dead horse. Relationships should be fun, and I know they wil all go through challenging times, but a strong couple will grow closer when faced with a challenge like redundancy, it won't drive them apart unless they let it.

I would argue that the stool has 4 legs. Respect is equally vital to having a healthy relationship. Your first post where you said you'd been sending verbally abusive texts to one another during a fight made my stomach turn. I could never, ever talk to my boyfriend like that. Even if we disagree on something I wouldn't insult him! We're seperate people but I trust him completely and we talk things through to come to a conclusion.

You know as well as anyone that if she went round to his house mad at you and stupid enough to drive, the likelyhood of them sitting on the sofa talking about the weather is 100-1. With the right person you don't mess one another about and therefore you trust one another, all these games aren't normal.

edmund_blackadder

gareth01422 wrote: »

What really is making me laugh inside is the fact my girlfriend posted in this forum the other day about me adding a girl on my facebook and most of you said "get rid of him" I did add her as she was doing my course, and since then I’ve made part of the admin on the facebook group i started for the course. I think when it comes to a women posting most of you are with because she is a women. Now I’ve told you she drove her car drunk, met another man while drunk and while in a relationship with me I’m a bad parent and I should get over it (that’s what I’m here for). What are some of you people on?

here’s the link http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1972159

If the 2 people on these 2 threads are asking questions about each other , why doesn't someone just post a link to each thread on the other thread (OK, I'm confused too) and then they can answer each others questions?

babymoo

gareth01422 wrote: »

no we actually keep the kids out of it, Its between us only. And it wasnt me driving while drunk. I was well under the limit as I hadnt drunk a drop of alchol.

OK well fair enough then your girlfriend needs to give up her driving license.

You may well keep your kids well out of it but don't think for a second that they are stupid and won't have some idea of what is going on. Children are a lot more intuitive and know what's going on at home a lot more than any parent will ever give them credit for.

Pollycat

gareth01422 wrote: »

The last year has been tough for us both, a month after all this happened i was made redundant so that as added presure onto the relationship. But me and my gf have always argued and its usually over stupid things or over someone else is involved.

End of the day, we dont trust each other and we probably have more resons to split up than we do to stay together.

Gareth
don't you think think that this says it all about your relationship?

I hope the 'adult conversation' you're planning to have on Sunday sorts things out for you, your partner and kids - one way or the other.

gareth01422

Pollycat wrote: »

Gareth
don't you think think that this says it all about your relationship?

I hope the 'adult conversation' you're planning to have on Sunday sorts things out for you, your partner and kids - one way or the other.

yes, i agree but im hoping for a ray of light at the end of the tunnel.

just had the "adult convosation" and went as it usually does, Like im noseying into her buisness and its wrong of me to do that. But anyway I tried it failed, just like the relationship.

cheers for the help guys

babymoo

1 quick question? Why are you two still even bothering? I think its obvious to everyone apart from you two obviously that your relationship was over a long time ago. Do yourselves favours and move on from each other.

cakeordeath_2

Sounds like you've made up your mind Gareth. Don't beat yourself up and think of the relationship as failed, some just run their course, chalk it up to experience.

Good luck and I hope you find happiness in your future.