Can anything be done ??

rb211

Has anybody had any experience of, a PWC limiting over night access to children so that they will receive a higher level of Child support.

I am a NRP and both I and my children want to spend more nights throughout the year together, however the PWC is denying me access, with the most likely ( yet unsaid) reason to be the above paragraph.

This seems to me to be a shocking system that allows this to happen

Thanks for any replies

RB

Zara33

Try getting a contact order.

What is a Contact Order?

Simply a Contact Order is an order laid down by the Family Court which details how much and how often there should be contact between the parent not living with the children and the children themselves. This order normally stipulates a number of hours per week and often a set day or night when the child (or children) can stay with the other parent.

Blob

Go to your local Court and get a C100 form and apply to the Court for a Defined Contact Order, and ask for a Penal Notice to be attached as you believe that your ex will not abide by the Order.

speedster

Blob wrote: »

Go to your local Court and get a C100 form and apply to the Court for a Defined Contact Order, and ask for a Penal Notice to be attached as you believe that your ex will not abide by the Order.

slow down a bit!! court isn't to be taken lightly.

firstly, you will have to prove it is "in the childs best interests" to have overnight stays. tricky if there's any distance between you or any logistical problems and school runs.

then, for a penal notice to be attatched, there have to be a number of proven floutings of the original order. this whole process could take a couple of years.

as far as the original question goes, then yes. my lovely ex's case worker at the good ol' C.S of A kindly advised her to cut my overnight stays so that she's get more, so she did, then proceeded to lie on the contact calendar they sent us both. she only marked 40 odd nights that year when i in fact had getting on for 140.

3 guesses who they believed????? i've spent the last 2 years in court getting contact back and i'm still not there just yet.

joanne36

So you could spend a thousand pounds or so in court to get a defined order or you could actually sit down with the children and your ex and draw up a plan and work together on an agreement...... which may be hard psychologically but easier on the pocket when agreed to include child support, and your childrens well being, if you feel unable to discuss with the pwc, then you need to balance whether it is better to spend thousands in a court case which will have a negative impact upon all involved or to pay a little extra than you should weekly and enjoy your children without the stress!!

Blonde_Bint

Thats a good summing up of it that is.

Work out which you would rather. spend it in court or spend it on the kids.

dragging it to court each time is all well and good but it IS having an effect on the kids, kids can tend to say little but they are taking it all in, as adults we have forgotten this.

We've spent i'll have a wild guess about 30 to 40 grand ish over the years (not counting the thousands dh spent before I met him) I think its more than that but i'm going conservative, and one of the times we were rowing in court the poor child looked as knackared as I felt over it. At the time I thought we were right to go to court in hind sight all we got were bits of paper saying we had this right and that right and that pwc must abide by the rules, she didnt and we didnt have a leg to stand on, call the police again and go back to court to end up thousands down and in the same position.

we even sold our home to pay for it I have seen others advise this course of action, well I wouldnt advise selling the family home. what has ss got now. Nothing more than he had before only now he wont have any inheritance when his father and step mum pop off. Not that that matters but what a waste spending it on court cases when the kids could have used it later in life. But the money to go to the courts had to come from somewhere.

speedster

Blonde_Bint wrote: »

Thats a good summing up of it that is.

Work out which you would rather. spend it in court or spend it on the kids.

dragging it to court each time is all well and good but it IS having an effect on the kids, kids can tend to say little but they are taking it all in, as adults we have forgotten this.

We've spent i'll have a wild guess about 30 to 40 grand ish over the years (not counting the thousands dh spent before I met him) I think its more than that but i'm going conservative, and one of the times we were rowing in court the poor child looked as knackared as I felt over it. At the time I thought we were right to go to court in hind sight all we got were bits of paper saying we had this right and that right and that pwc must abide by the rules, she didnt and we didnt have a leg to stand on, call the police again and go back to court to end up thousands down and in the same position.

we even sold our home to pay for it I have seen others advise this course of action, well I wouldnt advise selling the family home. what has ss got now. Nothing more than he had before only now he wont have any inheritance when his father and step mum pop off. Not that that matters but what a waste spending it on court cases when the kids could have used it later in life. But the money to go to the courts had to come from somewhere.

unfortunately, when dealing with an ex as horrid as mine, thrashing out a deal is a no go, mainly cos she is convinced that i'm "priviledged" that i'm "allowed" to see my child.

court was the only way for her attitude to be "addressed" as she couldn't either walk out, hang up or storm off (her 3 favoured techniques for dealing with the problem) the judge has tore her apart on 3 occasions now.

and it doesn't have to cost thousands, do your research and go LIP. all it's cost me is £175 for the original application.

but the look on her face after the judge has finished "tearing her a new one"????? PRICELESS!! :T:beer::j

Blob

Where dose the thousands come from, if you do it yourself it cost you the Court fees and that is it, after that it is just time. My kids are worth all the time that it takes, but that is me. The cost of a C100 application I dont know, but as stated above £175 seems about right.

Good luck

Bellio

rb211 wrote: »

Has anybody had any experience of, a PWC limiting over night access to children so that they will receive a higher level of Child support.

I am a NRP and both I and my children want to spend more nights throughout the year together, however the PWC is denying me access, with the most likely ( yet unsaid) reason to be the above paragraph.

This seems to me to be a shocking system that allows this to happen

Thanks for any replies

RB[/QUOTE

Same situation as you, however I am the NRP's new wife. I kept a diary since 21/10/last year, and up to now we have had them 179 Nigths this year. She is trying to tell the CSA (Whom believe her) that we have them 1 yes 1 night a week. Its disgusting really. They are teenagers, so they can speak their mind when they are with us, but they are scared of their mother who dioes ( and I have heard her ) Literally scream at them down the phone like a raging banshee if they wont take her others kids to bed, or take her shopping home etc etc or generally skivvy for her. But we have asked them to comelive with us if it gets too bad, but they wont. Its thier choice and we cant force them, however we will not stand by and let her lie through her back teeth to get more money out of us to fund her new house, car and holiday.

Bellio

And another thing while im ranting, I think the overnight rule is a load of rubbish too. If ia have our kids all day up until 9pm an a saturday night, they go home sleep and get up the next morning. Why does the PWC need supporting for that. They use noe electric, no food, gas or water all day, when they go to bed heating is off, they not eating, washing etc hence what a load of bull

my_gorgeous_ellie-belle

It's sadly just another system that is sooooo messed up! This country in general is going to the dogs...it's a shame but sadly the truth!