Advice on just about everything???

FreeMe_2

Hi,

I'm hoping someone can help me........

My husband and I have been in debt for the entire time we have known each other. He had debts when I met him and although I tried to help him out with them, to be honest I was pretty naive and didnt really know what I was doing. Anyway, to cut a long story short, we are still in debt and I am still at a loss as to what to do. We are constantly reviewing our outgoings and trying to make sure we have the best deals on utilities, insurance etc etc but our debts swallow up so much of our cash it doesnt seem to make much difference. We can afford the minimum repayments on all of our debts, and all of our bills (we've never missed a payment) but it leaves us with next to nothing to buy food, petrol and any unexpected spending. We frequently spend into our overdraft, managing to pull ourselves back into the black every couple of months but never finding any extra money to get on top of the debts. I know that we could live a bit more frugally than we currently do but my husband really struggles to accept just how bad the situation is and wont give up some of his creature comforts.... we hardly ever go out or buy new things but we do have Sky TV and have the occasional takeaway.
Having always had financial problems has had a big impact on our family (we have a son too) and means that we constantly row about money, about not being able to do things etc etc - I've had to work full time since our son was born and wish I could spend more time with him but cant afford to. I'd also like to go back to college and retrain to do a job that I enjoy instead of hating going to work each day to a job that makes me miserable. Unfortunately, as my husband is quite well paid we do not qualify for any help at all and all of the money we earn disappears on our debts. Our families are totally unaware of our problems and as my husband earns a lot we are constantly under pressure from them to spend money. Is there anything at all that we can do to get out of this miserable existance? Short of winning the lottery (which we cant afford to play!) I'm at a loss.

Thanks

dancingfairy

Hi FreeMe and welcome :hello: Firstly it sounds like you are doing some things right like shopping around for utilities etc but you have things the wrong way around for the unsecured debts - the idea is you pay for living expenses first then what's left goes to the creditors.
The first thing to do is probably an SOA:
see here - http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html
it'll let you and us get a clear view of what your situation is at the moment if you can post it here and then we can see where to go from here.
There are several organisations worth knowing about who will give you free impartial advice and talk through your SOAa with you:
these include : CCCS, your local CAB and National Debtline - whatever you do don't go to a company that will charge you though.
Rest assured there are lots of different avenues which might be suitable for your including a debtmanagement plan (DMP), DRO (debt reduction Order), IVA, Bankruptcy etc so there will be a solution for you somewhere.
Best of Luck
df

Tixy

Hi Freeme

Well done for doing writing your post - its not easy to admit that you need help.
I'm glad to hear you check you are with the best suppliers regularly.

What I would suggest is that you write out a detailed financial statement of affairs using this link - http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html this will help us to come up with suggestions to help you but additionally you could use this budget to show to your husband which may make him realise exactly how bad things are (particularly if you are showing a deficit each month). This budget includes all those things that we often forget to budget for as not all expenses occurr each month and then the tempatation is to reach for a credit card.

The other thing which may help you (and help persuade him there is a problem) is to compare your total debt now to your total debt 6months ago and 12 months ago. This will help you see if its increasing or decreasing over time.

Also another suggestion is to start keeping a spending diary where you write down every single thing you spend money on for a couple of months (even just 50p on a bar of chocolate) This may suprise you to see how much you are spending on those little habits and how much it adds up over a month or year.

Good luck.