Money Tree instead of presents

rsdiscos

When we married straight out of college we had nothing really at all. We did have a wedding list but added if people didn't want to buy from the list any donations as shares in our bed would be most welcome! Lots of people thought it was funny and referred to having the 'shares' when they wrote comments in our guest book!

aimee21j

Sorry but I think it would be a bad idea- I would find it very rude just as I would people asking for money instead of presents. We didn't mention anything about presents (even when asked by people) and most people gave us cash or vouchers. In fact, we only recieved one wrapped gift (no, it wasn't a kettle).

Torry_Quine

aimee21j wrote: »

Sorry but I think it would be a bad idea- I would find it very rude just as I would people asking for money instead of presents. We didn't mention anything about presents (even when asked by people) and most people gave us cash or vouchers. In fact, we only recieved one wrapped gift (no, it wasn't a kettle).

I agree that it is very rude to ask for money or indeed anything.

We didn't ask and were grateful for anything we got.

Do people still write thank you letters as the couple whose wedding we went to earlier this year never sent us a thank you for the gift we gave and it seemed rather strange?

aimee21j

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I agree that it is very rude to ask for money or indeed anything.

We didn't ask and were grateful for anything we got.

Do people still write thank you letters as the couple whose wedding we went to earlier this year never sent us a thank you for the gift we gave and it seemed rather strange?

Our thank you cards went out the day after the wedding.

frannyann

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Do people still write thank you letters as the couple whose wedding we went to earlier this year never sent us a thank you for the gift we gave and it seemed rather strange?

I must admit that after my first wedding 14 years ago, we completely forgot and had to grovel to everyone months later

frannyann

aimee21j wrote: »

Sorry but I think it would be a bad idea

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I agree that it is very rude to ask for money or indeed anything.

but as someone older and wiser than me once said, the world would be a very boring place if everyone liked/did the same thing! :D

kit

frannyann wrote: »

but as someone older and wiser than me once said, the world would be a very boring place if everyone liked/did the same thing! :D

LOL.... totally agree. :T

I dont think its rude to ask for money... I've been to 2 weddings this year and both asked for money instead of gifts which I was happy to provide.

My invites will have a little poem stating that we dont want presents but if they do wish to give us something there will be a money tree available for donations.

Havent been able to find a picture of one I like so am just designing my own! Will post a pic after the wedding in case anyone fancies doing one.

pretzelnut

It may be just me but im pretty certain that nowadays most people dont buy toasters or kettles when people get married.

They stay well clear of this cliche gift, they buy silver photo frames instead.:rotfl:When i married my ex we got 12 of them.

These were all from people who didnt ask what we would like or those on a low budget who decided that a silver frame would look a better gift than a £5 note. Those who did ask us what we wanted were asked if they would get us vouchers for ikea so we could buy a new sofa, we ended up with cash instead though as many thought it was easier.

We didnt mind, i made good use of all the frames, they all have photo's of my kids in as we are now divorced. :T

My point is that if you would like money then find a nice way to put it, those who agree and want to give money will and it will save you repeating yourself over and over again.

But there will be those who, no matter what you ask for will only buy what they want to.

I personnaly would prefer an invote with a ''we'd prefer cash / vouchers'' note inside it as it would save my brain from having to think of what to get.

I'd rather get a newly married couple some euros if there going on honeymoon then i can put a note in saving have a nice meal on us or something along those lines.

So if you want a tree - have a tree. Do away with old traditions and start some of your own. I would. It's your wedding, so do it your way.

student_advisor

Two out of three of the weddings we've been to this year have asked for money as gifts and I wasn't offended at all (the other said they didn't want anything). Each couple has their own house and have been living together for years.

In the end, we bought them small but meaningful gifts instead of giving money as my partner is out of work and I felt embarrassed that I couldn't give as much as I wanted to (d@mn pride).

On of the couples (who got married abroad & had a party after) put a lovely little poem in with the invites:
"We thank you for joining us
On this special day,
Please don't take offence
To our different way

As our home is established,
No gift would be best,
Although you may wish to
Bless our little money chest,

The smallest amount would
Help us on our way
To a later New York holiday

But on this day what is really true,
Is the company of friends and
Family like you"

They got given a mixture of money for their "money chest" and US dollars for their holiday. (and our pressie which has pride of place on the mantle piece)

We'll be asking for money too :eek:

Arthurian

I think it is nice to look at a clock or colander 40 years down the line and remember it was a gift from Auntie Ethel, even if at the time you didn't really need it. You don't remember a gift of money in the same way, so I think that's why people might be slightly offended by a request for money. They want your everyday life as a married couple to go well, and their gift is a physical reminder of those good wishes. I also think many guests might wish they could afford a luxury holiday.