My OH!

TWINKLE

I am currently doing a major overhaul on our finances at the minute and am under enough pressure as it is. My OH doesn't understand that I'm not a money tree and don't have an endless supply. So I am passing half of the responsibility for the finances to him tonight to take the pressure off me and for him to see just what I do actually pay out! Anyone else feel like this?:eek:

Toni_Broke

oh yes!!!! Best of luck Twinkle....

sweetpeas_2

TWINKLE,

I really do feel your pain...! My DH is a complete 'mare with finances and I sometimes think he's completely clueless...

We have a joint bank account, and I used to plan outgoings for the month so I had a figure left to play with, then he'd go and draw £10/20/30/40 out etc. He does work as well, but my point wasn't that he was spending what wasn't his- my point was that he was spending what had already been accounted for bills. Thick. :mad:

Anyway, the problem has been well and truly rectified now- I have removed his bank card from his person. Unfortunately, due to the fact he can't be responsible enough to make decent financial decisions, all his decision making purposes have been removed! :rotfl::rotfl:
He now asks me for money for everything, from petrol to haircut to a pasty at dinner time. Feel a bit guilty sometimes, but he does agree that it works better this way (just as well)

Seriously though, jokes aside, it can be proper hard work when your partner is pulling in the opposite direction to you financially, so I do understand how you feel. Turns difficult into impossible.

xx

(by the way, a regular MSE'er... can't remember who?! once told me they'd put their OH's credit cards, bank cards etc etc in a bowl of water and put them in the freezer cos he kept spending without permission... you could always try that if my plan fails )

xx

Going4TheDream

Are your OH and mine related -sounds like it!!! We have a joint account for house bills etc and he used to see this as an extra account and used to 'dip' in to it. £20 here £20 there and it all adds up! I would always be checking that there was enough money to pay the outgoings - which there should have been as enough goes in each month to cover everything and a little extra besides. We both pay into this account to cover house and our own direct debits for mobiles etc etc . He was quite blase about it which used to make me mad especially if there was the odd shortfall I would make it up (figure that one out) :mad: In the end I took the card off him and hid it, changed from statements through the post to online and now do everything through internet banking. If he wants something for personal use he now uses his own account and quite right too! if he tries to blag me that it is for the house he has to ask and I will decide! I am not sure he spends less than he used to as apart from house joint account his accounts and mine are seperate but I am richer now I am not making up the shortfall and am not worrying each month about the bills being paid! :j

TWINKLE

sweetpeas wrote: »

TWINKLE,

I really do feel your pain...! My DH is a complete 'mare with finances and I sometimes think he's completely clueless...

We have a joint bank account, and I used to plan outgoings for the month so I had a figure left to play with, then he'd go and draw £10/20/30/40 out etc. He does work as well, but my point wasn't that he was spending what wasn't his- my point was that he was spending what had already been accounted for bills. Thick. :mad:

Anyway, the problem has been well and truly rectified now- I have removed his bank card from his person. Unfortunately, due to the fact he can't be responsible enough to make decent financial decisions, all his decision making purposes have been removed! :rotfl::rotfl:
He now asks me for money for everything, from petrol to haircut to a pasty at dinner time. Feel a bit guilty sometimes, but he does agree that it works better this way (just as well)

Seriously though, jokes aside, it can be proper hard work when your partner is pulling in the opposite direction to you financially, so I do understand how you feel. Turns difficult into impossible.

xx

(by the way, a regular MSE'er... can't remember who?! once told me they'd put their OH's credit cards, bank cards etc etc in a bowl of water and put them in the freezer cos he kept spending without permission... you could always try that if my plan fails )

xx

Thanks sweetpeas - I'm not the only one then?! When the money runs out why do I feel like a failure?

TWINKLE

Going4TheDream wrote: »

Are your OH and mine related -sounds like it!!! We have a joint account for house bills etc and he used to see this as an extra account and used to 'dip' in to it. £20 here £20 there and it all adds up! I would always be checking that there was enough money to pay the outgoings - which there should have been as enough goes in each month to cover everything and a little extra besides. We both pay into this account to cover house and our own direct debits for mobiles etc etc . He was quite blase about it which used to make me mad especially if there was the odd shortfall I would make it up (figure that one out) :mad: In the end I took the card off him and hid it, changed from statements through the post to online and now do everything through internet banking. If he wants something for personal use he now uses his own account and quite right too! if he tries to blag me that it is for the house he has to ask and I will decide! I am not sure he spends less than he used to as apart from house joint account his accounts and mine are seperate but I am richer now I am not making up the shortfall and am not worrying each month about the bills being paid! :j

Thanks Going4thedream - time for a new plan of action to take the pressure off me I think!!

gizmo111

TWINKLE wrote: »

Thanks sweetpeas - I'm not the only one then?! When the money runs out why do I feel like a failure?

Because it feels like you have been wasting your energy and effort to get straight and all your efforts have been abused by the one person who should be helping and support you do this for both your benefit. Never ever will I have a joint account again. X amount for me from Oh monthly and if he thinks I'm controlling/mistrusting then he knows why.

TWINKLE

gizmo111 wrote: »

Because it feels like you have been wasting your energy and effort to get straight and all your efforts have been abused by the one person who should be helping and support you do this for both your benefit. Never ever will I have a joint account again. X amount for me from Oh monthly and if he thinks I'm controlling/mistrusting then he knows why.

That's true Gizmo111, I am going to implement a plan tonight whereby he has to give me X amount each month and it's up to him to manage his own budget for his stuff. This takes the pressure off me to always come up with the goods!