Anyone in a relationship but tackling the debts alone?

Moneytroubles_2

Hiya, I had my lightbulb moment a couple of months ago, joined these forums and now im hooked, alot of my debt is either soley or jointly OH's and while I am determined to become debt free, he really doesn't seem that bothered. His attitude towards the debts just annoy me, he just sees it as a society where everyone is in debt and its the norm, and altho it is true that most people do have some sort of debt whether it be a CC or an overdraft etc he doesn't seem to take me seriously when I say I dont want any debt.

Examples of him not taking it seriously are.... yesterday I was due to go on a night out however decided against it, and he was going on and on and on about just go, and even gave me some money. I kept explaining I would rather save it and he just doesn't get it.

We also had a chip shop lunch yesterday which I didnt mind as we generally do have 1 take away a week either on a friday or saturday but then later that evening he was hungry again and wanted ANOTHER take away, i managed to talk him into cooking what was in the freezer.

These are 2 very small examples and you probably think I need to get a grip, but he just annoys me lol

Moneytroubles

gfplux

Hello moneytroubles,
You are in a very difficult sittuation. Does your partner understand how much debt you both have.
Why not make out your SOA (link - http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html ) Try not to guess at the figures, dig out the paperwork! However remember a partial completed one is better than none. It is in fact one of the most IMPORTANT things you will ever do to start on the road to recovery.

If you then show it to your partner it might wake him up, or it might show you that you are worried for no reason.

After it is done it is very easy to keep it up to date. In my opinion everyone should have an up to date SOA even if you have little or no debt. It is a great tool to manage your life with.

If you want to post it on the forum answer the obvious questions before they are asked so you get immediate feedback, such as :-
If you have other Income explain what it is
Mortgage – interest only or not.
What is the age of any children.
Council tax over 10 or 12 months.
Electricity and gas any arrears.
Water rates meter yes or no.
Mobiles, how many and when are the contracts up for renewal.
If no contents insurance is it include with buildings insurance.
If your pets cost money, what are they.
House or flat value, has it been valued by an Estate Agent and when.
The more you can explain about your financial figures and circumstances the quicker you will get advise rather than questions.
When you have posted it and it does not look right or you want to change it, do so and repost it.
Good Luck

Moneytroubles_2

Thanks for the reply, I started a SOA a few weeks ago, think I missed most of the essential information out though so will need to find it on my comp and have another look! X

BenS1

In one myself. My debt is only mine, and I havn't told my SO about it. I should have mine nailed out soon, only owe them £145 if I get all my charges refunded.

She only knows that I dislike Abbey and won't have anything to do with them.

GeorgeUK

Might also be worth showing him the snowball calculator.

Once he sees how much interest he is gifting the banks when there may be somethin he can do about it and spend that money on himself (or you) - it may be a little motivation into taking this more seriously.
http://www.whatsthecost.com/snowball.aspx

If he lost his job, how long would it be before you were unable to cope with all the bills. If it's less than 4 months then you need to point out that you would have very little chance of getting credit again or even a decent mortgage rate in the next 6 years.