Friends Ex Refusing To Pay His Half - Repossession Fear

Twinkly

Rikki wrote: »

I think your responses have been polite and as informative as possible under the circumstances. Sometimes we can't see the wood for the trees until it is too late.

I have only posted from experience but on reading other posters comments, yours included, things have moved on a long way from my separation and divorce. What was possible then is highly unlikely now.

Apart from the the two getting together and making joint decisions I cannot see this moving any further forward. CAB or Shelter for advice is the way to go.

The woods and trees bit will come later. I think that posters have for some unknown reason mistaken this for a full blown court headed repossession case right this minute and this just isnt so. So the way to move forward for the immediate future is to write to the lender and offer full payment of the contractual monthly amount from now on and something off the arrears. I thank you for the info that she does not need the exs permission to do this or certain other things I enquired about. The rest remains to be seen.

opinions4u

Twinkly wrote: »

Rikki the way to move forward for the immediate future is to write to the lender and offer full payment of the contractual monthly amount from now on and something off the arrears. I thank you for the info that she does not need the exs permission to do this or certain other things I enquired about. The rest remains to be seen.

Use the phone. Make the agreement by telephone. Then confirm it in writing (registered post).

Letters will get lost, delayed, misplaced, put in front of admin staff who don't know what to do with letters because 99% of their work is on the phones and - there's a postal strike looming.

Don't let the arrears build up further by using the Royal Mail.

Additional thoughts (I appreciate that you haven't asked for this, but they are relevant points to be considered):

- if your friend clears the arrears, maintains the full monthly payments and is not allowed to take over the mortgage in her own name, what then? She needs to have some idea now as to whether the lender sees her income as adequate, and also to understand what the lender's view on previous arrears and (if there is any) negative equity is prior to agreeing a transfer of ownership.

- if your friend clears the arrears, maintains the full monthly payments and is not allowed to take over the mortgage in her own name, and there is equity in the property, what happens when her ex starts demanding the sale of the property alongside his share of the equity which has, in part, been achieved by somebody else paying his "half" of mortgage payments and arrears?

In returning to see what Mrs Bumbles response to my clarification I am frankly astonished that it displays the same repetition of ignorant judgemental and irrelevant responses.

The problem with Mrs Bumble's responses in relation to the reality of the arrears and repossession process is that they have been absolutely spot on.

You may choose to dislike somebody as a result of their posts. But sooner or later your friend will need legal help. Somebody suggesting charitable organisations that provide that sort of help is very relevant.

Thriftysaver

Pay arrears and monthly payments. Keep proof. wait for wage multiples to match eligibility after decrease of capital and play the waiting game. Good luck

flea72

as soon as the ex needs to get a mortgage on another property he wont want the current mortgage to put a dent in his borrowing ability, so will then force your friend to sell the house anyway

there is little point in continuing to throw money at a house, that she wont, in most likelihood, get to keep

Cut your loses. Sell up, pay off the mortgage, and start again

Flea

Twinkly

opinions4u wrote: »

Use the phone. Make the agreement by telephone. Then confirm it in writing (registered post).

Letters will get lost, delayed, misplaced, put in front of admin staff who don't know what to do with letters because 99% of their work is on the phones and - there's a postal strike looming.

Don't let the arrears build up further by using the Royal Mail.

Good points. Thank you.

opinions4u wrote: »

Additional thoughts (I appreciate that you haven't asked for this, but they are relevant points to be considered):

- if your friend clears the arrears, maintains the full monthly payments and is not allowed to take over the mortgage in her own name, what then? She needs to have some idea now as to whether the lender sees her income as adequate, and also to understand what the lender's view on previous arrears and (if there is any) negative equity is prior to agreeing a transfer of ownership.

Well...as with others experiences it may well be that as the capital reduces and her income rises she is then a viable consideration for taking on the mortgage in her own right. She told me tonight that her income has risen by £3,000 since applying for the mortgage so perhaps that will be considered now even if not enough just yet.

She does have the oppertunity for a much higher wage if she can pass some exams she is studying for right now. Its worth asking the lender for an opinon on that now I think.

Negative equity is a consideration but she is hoping - as I am sure we all are - that the market has gone as far down as it can and will rise eventually - just not too quickly as per your second point...referenced here but answered below it..

opinions4u wrote: »

- if your friend clears the arrears, maintains the full monthly payments and is not allowed to take over the mortgage in her own name, and there is equity in the property, what happens when her ex starts demanding the sale of the property alongside his share of the equity which has, in part, been achieved by somebody else paying his "half" of mortgage payments and arrears?

Unfortunately there isnt very much equity in the property right now. Certainly not enough to force a sale on. I thnk a court would need to assess that one really as the needs of her child irrespective of the ex's bioligical relation would also be considered and he may have to agree to another option - buy out perhaps. Its another legal matter to be explored if and when it arises but thanks for the heads up.

opinions4u wrote: »

The problem with Mrs Bumble's responses in relation to the reality of the arrears and repossession process is that they have been absolutely spot on.

The problem with Mrs Bumbles responses is that she hears what she wants to hear. (Ironically accusing me of same and consistently ignoring specific query even after clarification and 2 numbered questions. Personal comments on the relationship of the couple - way off the mark and explained to be - yet they kept coming. Then her inaccurate speculation regarding my friends son and the length of the relationship? Protestation that the information she gave is spot on just doesnt cut it. No...all told, just not acceptable sorry but full marks for a gallant defence. Seriously.

Anyway, I dont wish to discuss That matter any further, she will be fully aware her responses were not as direct as she claims and there isnt even the slightest hint of an apology for speculating about an innocent child. This was never about the child.

As I said I have been online a long time and I am not surprised or unduly upset by the way conversations wander on forums but my friend is not so experienced. I am only glad I posted on her behalf and didnt let her see this all for herself. She is going through enough and as I said empathy costs nothing regardless of the "hard facts".

opinions4u wrote: »

You may choose to dislike somebody as a result of their posts. But sooner or later your friend will need legal help. Somebody suggesting charitable organisations that provide that sort of help is very relevant.

True enough but what happens after this letter goes remains to be seen so contacting charities and legal advisors are on the back burner for now simmering.

Ultimately thanks for popping up with some more food for thought. It is much appreciated.

Twinkly

Thriftysaver wrote: »

Pay arrears and monthly payments. Keep proof. wait for wage multiples to match eligibility after decrease of capital and play the waiting game. Good luck

Yup this is now the plan. Thank you for your good wishes she will appreciate that

Twinkly

flea72 wrote: »

as soon as the ex needs to get a mortgage on another property he wont want the current mortgage to put a dent in his borrowing ability, so will then force your friend to sell the house anyway

there is little point in continuing to throw money at a house, that she wont, in most likelihood, get to keep

Cut your loses. Sell up, pay off the mortgage, and start again

Flea

I know what you're saying but the reality is he is back to living rent free with doting parents and back to being a spoilt single boy again. He is very unlikely to want another mortgage and has more than enough debt elsewhere to be coping with/desperately avoiding hoping it will go away

No mortgage lender is going to touch him with a barge pole but in the event what you say does happen the forcing of a sale is not a done deal as there is a child to consider - irrespective of his biological relationship to her ex -so that would be for a court to decide. Basically, where there is the chance she will hold on to this house which is the home of her and her child then she is willing to take the risk. As a mother myself I can understand that need and fighting against the perceived odds just in case they are actually wrong and do fall in her favour.
Although...in that event...if it sells and clears the mortgage leaving some equity there is the possibility of her getting back what she puts in from now on.

Ultimately it is ALL ifs buts and maybes at this point. Nothing is certain.

Rikki

Be aware if her ex gets into financial difficulties and decides to go bankrupt the house will be taken into consideration and she could loose her home. While they have a joint mortgage they are financially linked and any bad marks against his name are linked directly to hers.

Personally if it was me I would look to sell without throwing any more money into the house. The money pit is not secure enough for her to risk paying money into it.
I would see what mortgage figure she is able to get, look to sell this one and move into her own house with her own mortgage.
I know its not what she will want to hear but not having any security of a court judgement as you get in a divorce she is on very shaky ground.

Questions to ask her.........
Will she be happy to sell when her ex needs to get his own mortgage?
Is she prepared for bank repossesion?
Is she aware it is still part of her ex's assets and can demand any equity at any time?
Is she aware the if he gets into financial difficulty and goes bankrupt the house will be sold?
She is not paying the mortgage each month and gaining any security for her or her child. She is just paying rent without a secured lease?

The whole situation is financially wobbly?
Please get her to call shelter or visit the CAB, they have people who can access far more information and facts that any of us can here.

SouthCoast

From Post #3:

It's a horrible situation for her. I'm sorry I can't put a more positive spin on things. CAB or Shelter for advice. And fast.

irn_bru

Twinkly wrote: »

Yup this is now the plan. Thank you for your good wishes she will appreciate that

Correct me if I'm wrong but if she continues to pay the mortgage herself for several years, won't her ex still own half the house, therefore able to expect half the equity when she decides to put the mortgage into her name? I know she owns the deeds but the mortgage is in his name too.

I'm probably wrong but maybe something that needs consideration??