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Underpayment tax demands help

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Hi,
Can someone advise me on something please? Between about June 2001 and November 2004 i had to do self assessment tax returns for my job. My wage was approx £250 and £280 pw cash from till and that was it, no profits or sales etc. To be honest, i didn't really know how i was filling it in as most of the huge form didn't apply to me as it was a weird franchise style set up i was working in. I tried my best and paid what i thought for the first year. I then received a letter and said i'd overpaid and so wouldn't hardly pay anything the 2nd year. In the 3rd year, i again paid what i thought was correct. In Novemeber 2004, i left and went back to being a 'proper employee' where i didn't have to mess around with my own tax and thought that was all finished with. However, i had a large tax demand in about July 2005 that didn't know what was for but i went to Waterfront ay Merry Hill to talk to someone face to face and got them to give me a final figure of what i owed. This was a huge amount which i took out a loan to pay which i wasn't impressed with but i trusted this is what i owed and it would all be finished. In November 2005, i was taken ill with a serious life threatening heart condition which i still have and was on long term IB and the DWP had said they wouldn't review me medically until September 2010 but i choose now to work 30 hours in a sedentary job as i hated being on benefits even though i'm hardly any better off. I have now had 2 letters causing me great stress demanding in total over £1200 from 01/02 and 02/03. I've tried to phone them but they won't speak to me properley because i can't remember any of my log in dtails and have told me to write a letter. I have no idea what i need to put. In all, i think over the 3 years i paid around £6000 in tax and NI through self assessment which i think sounds a lot for what i was earning. I have a high mortgage, 2 kids and a partner who is ill with ME (which she gets no benefits for as it happens but that's another story) and really could do without this stress. Any advice?

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