I'm stressed

never_enough

thatgirlsam wrote: »

my ds said to be a few weeks ago that when he is a man is he going to marry me so he can build me a house
bless him

another friend got so fed up with the roll of carpet in her hallway that her OH was supposed to lay , a year to the day she bought the carpet a birthday card and stood it on it .. when her hubby came through the door he saw it and the carpet got laid that weekend!!

Loved these!
OP, my heart goes out to you, have been there with my ex. All I can add is that you will get through this & things will seem better. Honest!
As for the MOT, do you get it done at the same garage every time, can you flutter your eyelashes (or your builders bum?! ) to get someone to go through their system to find out when it was last done?

aliasojo

thatgirlsam wrote: »

- i have floors.......

...and you should be truely grateful.

another friend got so fed up with the roll of carpet in her hallway that her OH was supposed to lay , a year to the day she bought the carpet a birthday card and stood it on it .. when her hubby came through the door he saw it and the carpet got laid that weekend!!

Love that. :rotfl:

londoner1998 wrote: »

..... but have you thought that may be because of your criticism he has decided he is better off not doing anything at all? May be letting him to do things 'his' way to start with could help?

The problem is though...there IS a right and a wrong way to do things when it comes to DIY. You can't just stick down some plywood if you haven't fixed noggins for the joins for example. If you did, your floor would sag or move and the tiles would crack. He thinks I'm being OTT about things just because he genuinely doesn't know anything about DIY. That's fair enough but he's not interested in learning.......then he queries why I have to do whatever it is I have to do, iyswim. :rolleyes:

Funnily enough though, he managed to strike up enough interest recently about hill walking to go online and find out all the do's and don't about that. :rolleyes:

Pee wrote: »

Is there other stuff he could do to help if he really can't do DIY? (I would be so incapable, I'm really impressed.)

He will do the day to day type stuff like stick a washing on, tidy up etc which is a help don't get me wrong. He just cant up the ante when it's needed.

Can you divide between what needs to be done and what can be done later, or would living in in part done just keep your stress levels high?

We've been living like this for too long as it is. Any longer and I'm moving into the shed!

Most of the time we seem to rub along ok but it's serious times like this that makes you realise whether your OH 'has your back' or if you're on your own. :rolleyes:

As for the car MOT.......I dont keep to the same garage, in fact I cant even remember which one I used last. I'm going to try to get the floor down between today/tomorrow depending on daughter and then I suppose I'll need to either hunt down old mot or just book the thing in for a new one regardless.

Thanks for all the sympathy everyone, I appreciate the thoughts. Any chance of some chocolate now? :rotfl:

aliasojo

never_enough wrote: »

............. (or your builders bum?! )

*goes off to pull down the blinds and pull up the trousers*

:rotfl:

aliasojo

Ok, I'm feeling bad. I think I better point out that OH is not all bad, lol.

He doesn't drink or smoke or gamble. He works and never really sees much of his wage tbh. He will do day to day stuff in the house and will sort out things like school clothes etc so it's not like he sits on his behind when he comes home.

He's just not 'there' for the stuff that doesn't interest him, iyswim.

londoner1998

aliasojo wrote: »

Ok, I'm feeling bad. I think I better point out that OH is not all bad, lol.

He doesn't drink or smoke or gamble. He works and never really sees much of his wage tbh. He will do day to day stuff in the house and will sort out things like school clothes etc so it's not like he sits on his behind when he comes home.

He's just not 'there' for the stuff that doesn't interest him, iyswim.

Awhhhh... you see? of course he is not there for what doesn't interest him, neither is my OH!! I had this revelation a few months ago, when while arguing about the washing up (it always is the washing up), I said 'You are just not interested, are you??!!'-and he replied- 'no, I am not interested'
WOW, it finally hit me- I am interested in the tidy kitchen, the towels and sheets and all these domestic stuff and I like to have nice, pretty and under control. He is not. He s interested in music , in comedy , playing with the computer and doing theatre design... what can you do? He is not interested!! More recetly, I started to tell him that may be he would feelmore in control about the stuff going on in the house if he started to take part in it- ie- monthly internet grocery shopping, plan tickets booking, etc...rather than getting tense when I ask for his share of the money...it is working :T!!

Pee

I know what you mean, he's a nine and you'd never look for a replacement, but this is the missing one and right now, it feels real important!!!

Is a moan doing you good, or does he need to pull his finger out?

Can see it's very annoying to have him second guess what you are doing, but also difficult for him if you are naturally or through your own effort much better. Maybe some easy jobs and lots of praise, if you can manage that without losing your head?

aliasojo

londoner1998 wrote: »

Awhhhh... you see? of course he is not there for what doesn't interest him...........

Life isn't one long 'interesting' party though. To me, two people in a relationship have to step up to the plate for the 'non interesting' times too.

Do you think I like what I'm doing? I hate it, I'd much rather be doing 'interesting' things too. I make the effort though because this is our family home. That's the difference, I make the effort to sort things out for us all, he makes the effort to check out walking boots. :rolleyes:

Actually, I'm getting angry again.

aliasojo

Pee wrote: »

I know what you mean, he's a nine and you'd never look for a replacement, but this is the missing one and right now, it feels real important!!!

Nope, he's far from it. I'm a bit old fashioned in the respect of 'you make your bed............'

aliasojo

Pee wrote: »

Maybe some easy jobs and lots of praise, if you can manage that without losing your head?

I've raised 3 children, the eldest is 26. I don't believe I should have to raise him too.

Primrose

I just love that story about buying the carpet a birthday card. Reminds me of my mum when I was kid. My father was a great procrastinator about getting domestic stuff done. He bought a new coal fired boiler for the kitchen. (Yes, that was in the golden old days when you lit the boiler once a week for your bath !!). It stood in the kitchen, uninstalled for nearly 15 years. Then one day my Mum just flipped. She got an enormous sledge hammer from the garage and smashed it to smithereens. There was a helluva row when Dad got home from work and no dinner on the table but within a month, a new boiler had been bought and installed.