doing right by your kid????

kelloggs36

Soubrette wrote: »

I had reason to work out my outgoings for my children last year and we paid £6000 (actually just under) of our annual income last year towards the girls and that was on a frugal lifestyle with a few large expenses or luxuries (we have relatives in Canada and holiday there once a year, we have a dog and we love eating out (just pubs and pizza hut ) and the biggest luxury of all, working part time). This did not include most school clothes, half the pocket money (kind of - we pay weekly ex paid monthly) and most swimming. It also included only clothes I could specifically remember buying and the cost, no extra petrol costs for running them around, no electricity/gas costs, no cash I gave them for school projects or charity days etc. Our child related benefits were approx £3000 (also just under) and my take home pay is approx £6000. That means that approx 50% of my take home pay and possibly more was used for the direct benefit of the children. Obviously added to that would be the indirect costs of two teenagers living in a house and adding to the cost of living.

It also means that each girl cost at least £58 per week for me alone with the ex putting £15 a week each towards them. Making a total of £73 a week for one and £146 per week for both, I do not consider us an average family though and I'm convinced I spend less on day to day living than most people.

Here is an idea of the things I do to make sure that we get to do the things we like to by saving money (it's a copy of a list I posted earlier and is not exhaustive).

Things we do to save money
· Join Freecycle: www.freecycle.org. (my best ‘gift’ was a single pine bed for my daughter as she felt she was too old for a cabin bed)
· Go to Tesco at 9pm for the bargain veg (or whatever else they’ve put out as bargains – often 90% off original price).
· Make soup from said veg.
· Peel potatoes, chop into roast size chunks, blanch and freeze – cook as roasties straight from the freezer. (this also works with parsnips)
· Peel potatoes, boil and mash them – freeze plain then add butter etc when reheating them or use as a base for soups.
· Julienne and freeze cheap carrots for use in stir fries or as a side veg. Same with french beans – very freezable.
· Make jam from any cheap fruit. (this probably isn’t cheaper than value jam but it is just as good as any ‘finest’ range for fractionally more than the cost of value)
· Look out for ‘free’ food – e.g. blackberries and apples in autumn – this will reduce the cost of your jam even further. I pick and freeze blackberries throughout the Autumn whilst walking the dog – a couple of handfuls a day really adds up over a couple of months.
· Keeping the heating off upstairs at all times
· Not turning the heating on 31st Oct and off 1st Mar (it goes on when it's really cold and jumpers don't cut it anymore.
· Hot water bottles at night ( I would not use these for very young children though)
· Haircut once a year (some people use local colleges for cheap cuts by trainees)
· Watching petrol prices www.petrolprices.com to buy cheapest in area – or check further afield if you are visiting somewhere else.
· Drive smoothly, with as little acceleration and braking as possible (bearing in mind speed limits), reverse into spaces as it is claimed it costs more in fuel to reverse when the car is cold.
· Buying clothes from Matalan, Asda etc. Some people buy second hand clothes such as Next for a few pounds on ebay.
· No drinking.
· No smoking.
· Make cakes/flapjacks etc for girls’ sandwiches every week.
· Make our own bread, tortilla wraps, fruit breads and pizza bases.
· Bulk buying our normal shopping when it is on offer (especially washing powder/toilet rolls etc).
· Shopping in different supermarkets for the deals www.mealsavers.co.uk
· Nights out comprising free cinema tickets and bring your own drink.
· One 5 year old mobile phone between my husband and I - spend less that £20 per 6 month period – it is an emergency phone only.
· Keep an eye on places like UKhotdeals for necessary purchases (I managed to get a brand new Christmas Tree from Tesco – 6ft tall – for under £4)
· Go through cashback or points websites for necessary purchases e.g. I use Quidco for ebay, nectar points for Amazon etc
Sign up to newsletters etc for products you use often e.g. I get newsletters from Quorn, Cadburys, pizza hut, Lakeland etc – I’m looking for money off vouchers or deals.


My husband also heavily subsides us - basically if I were a lone parent then I think all the nice stuff would have to disappear, although conversely I would get more in tax credits.

The point I'm making is not how hard done by we are - we're not but how expensive bringing up a child is and how if people actually added up how much they cost it would be quite a surprise, I know it was to me.


My second point which I often make is that a child should benefit from the lifestyle of its parents. I think it is shameful that some NRPs have a fantastic income and commensurate lifestyle yet begrudge a penny towards their children. I have yet to see actual evidence of a PWC who swans around the world in designer clothes and fabulous holidays whilst the child lives in matalan clothes and goes to Butlins once a year, I'm sure they are out there, the nearest I can think of at the moment is Beatrice McCartney's mum sending her economy and flying first class herself and look how scorned she was for that. If it were actually true that a PWC spent not one penny on the child though - to me that would be akin to child abuse.

In short if one parent earns more than another then that parent should be putting more into the pot - whether that be the PWC or the NRP, just like it would be if both parents were married - the child would benefit from the income of both parents.


Sou

£6000\52 = £115 per week. AT half each (if they earned the same) that would be £57 per person.

LizzieS_2

Soubrette wrote: »

I agree that it is most but I also believe that after £30,000 joint income, if a PWC has a partner, the tax credits are significantly reduced.

Sou

Depends upon the number of children - it is a pretty low figure (in relation to average earnings) for 1 child when TC drop to £10pw.

LizzieS_2

shell_542 wrote: »

Everyone is so different. In our case I'm pretty sure the PWC earns probably only a slightly less amount to my husband. He has 3 children and a mortgage and all the bills that come with it. The PWC lives with her parents, works full time while family watch the child etc.

She earns slightly less than your husband, you don't work = she has less income before csa. You struggle now = she is making sure her living costs do not put her in the same position as yourselves (perhaps luck of a loving family able to assist is her main help).

By your own admittance, the TC are not being used in your private arrangement - ok you are worried they may be in future.

If she was to go it alone, do you really think she would still be in a better financial position than you?

Shell love, don't let some-one elses lifestyle upset you - it isn't worth it.

shell_542

LizzieS wrote: »

She earns slightly less than your husband, you don't work = she has less income before csa. You struggle now = she is making sure her living costs do not put her in the same position as yourselves (perhaps luck of a loving family able to assist is her main help).

By your own admittance, the TC are not being used in your private arrangement - ok you are worried they may be in future.

If she was to go it alone, do you really think she would still be in a better financial position than you?

Shell love, don't let some-one elses lifestyle upset you - it isn't worth it.

I hope I don't give the impression of torturing myself about the PWC's lifestyle compared to us, I don't cry myself to sleep about it :rotfl: I normally only think about it when discussing the topic on here!

I was only stating my feelings, and that is I feel that tax credits shouldn't be taken into account ... or at least not all.