D of E Gold

patchwork_cat

My son has just started sixth form and is doing his D of E gold. The last week and a half have been seriously frentic and we feel like mushrooms!

He had been pushed into signing up to their expedition training and after the inital sign up and providing over £100 for various thing at college he has now been told that he needs full hiking kit within 10 days and provide £150 towards the expedition within a further 3 weeks. His text books are starting to come through and I can see that mounting up to another couple of hundred or so.

He is going to get £10 EMA per week, but unless he gets £30 we have to pay for it all.

Anyway moan over! He has decided that he doesn't want to do this expedition and would rather do something more interesting even if it is more expensive, then he will fund raise for it, but at least it won't be thrust on him with no notice like the school organised one!

What did you do or do you know of what someone else did for their expedition? Also any links any one knows of resources for this or forums beyond the main D of E site?

starbump

My sister did the DoE and I'm sure she did an expedition organised by the school - I seem to recall something involving hiking, kayaking and camping. She needed loads of camping gear e.g. hiking boots, strange tin cooking implements, bizarre food packets, etc. It all sounded grim. Glad it wasn't me!! The various smaller/less grueling stuff she organised herself (or our parents did) e.g. volunteering, study courses (to gain new skills), etc. I'm sure it'll be worth it in the end - it's a big sense of achievement, a nice award ceremony for the parents to attend and something cool for your uni applications. Good luck to your son.

princeofpounds

Expedition (or 'exploration' for those not capable of the physical demands) is a core part of the DoE. What exactly are you complaining about here? If it's the idea of an expedition at all then I'm afraid it's pretty clear it's a requirement.

Or is it just the way this one has been organised somehow? Or the cost?

Frankly if he's not done anything like this before I'd push him to do it. It's incredibly good for helping kids grow up.

patchwork_cat

princeofpounds wrote: »

Expedition (or 'exploration' for those not capable of the physical demands) is a core part of the DoE. What exactly are you complaining about here? If it's the idea of an expedition at all then I'm afraid it's pretty clear it's a requirement.

Or is it just the way this one has been organised somehow? Or the cost?

Frankly if he's not done anything like this before I'd push him to do it. It's incredibly good for helping kids grow up.

I am not going to push my son into doing anything. Is that what constitutes good parenting in your book?He doesn't need pushing, he is a very bright, motivated young man who will one day be someone's doctor, dentist or pharmacist- maybe yours, but only if you are VERY fortunate. ( these are not pie in the sky dreams with his GCSE results)

I am complaining about the cost with so little notice, the fact that at the first meeting we were told you can do anything in any order with no real time limit ( obviously in the next 9 years!) he has been bullied into doing an expedition he doesn't want sharing a tent with a child who has bullied him since he was 8! with no notice. The leaders attitude is and I quote although not verbatim, I am doing this cheap I could ask for £120 a day. I have not got a free weekend in October.

Her attitude is my way or not at all and you had better be grateful.

We have been given no information like are we going to have to fork out for tents and sleeping bags etc. on top of hiking kit and £150? Are they staying in the middle of nowhere or proper camp sites - I could go on.

He actually wants to do a more challenging and adventurous expedition and my original request after my vent was for other ideas. He fancies trekking in Morocco!! or canoeing in Canada and to be frank if I am going to have fund something then I would rather it be memorable!

[Deleted User]

Could you suggest he gets a job to pay for some of this?

RoxieW

patchwork_cat wrote: »

He doesn't need pushing, he is a very bright, motivated young man who will one day be someone's doctor, dentist or pharmacist- maybe yours, but only if you are VERY fortunate. ( these are not pie in the sky dreams with his GCSE results)

That's a teeny bit snappy and presumptuous! Who's to say the previous poster isn't your doctor, dentist or whatever! There's also a huge difference between gcse's and higher level qualifications. I got 13 A's gcse and am a stay at home mum - i wonder if my parents are disappointed Re the D of E -- if he's got the time, money, energy to organise something himself then fine. I'd be worried however that with his studies/social life/job etc it may get put off and just never end up happening. Surely easier to take advantage of the opportunity while it is in front of him?

patchwork_cat

RoxieW wrote: »

patchwork_cat wrote: »

He doesn't need pushing, he is a very bright, motivated young man who will one day be someone's doctor, dentist or pharmacist- maybe yours, but only if you are VERY fortunate. ( these are not pie in the sky dreams with his GCSE results)

That's a teeny bit snappy and presumptuous! Who's to say the previous poster isn't your doctor, dentist or whatever! There's also a huge difference between gcse's and higher level qualifications. I got 13 A's gcse and am a stay at home mum - i wonder if my parents are disappointed Re the D of E -- if he's got the time, money, energy to organise something himself then fine. I'd be worried however that with his studies/social life/job etc it may get put off and just never end up happening. Surely easier to take advantage of the opportunity while it is in front of him?

What is presumptious about what I said? Those are the careers he is looking into. It was snappy because the person that I was replying to was patronising. I know very well what is required to acheive the D of E gold but was fed up at the money involved at very short notice and the lack of decent information.

This is not about you and I will not be disappointed whatever my DS decides to do did I not make that clear with my I will not PUSH him statement? If you feel that you have disappointed your parents then that is your cross. I am also a SAHM althoguh I have A levels! - please don't lecture me on the difference between O and A level or A level and degree as this is not what the topic is about and I have been there, dropped out and got 3 T shirts!!

One reason that he has backed out of the expedition is because it was being foisted on him at a rate of knots during a stressful week, so we thought it best for him to cool it, look around and do something he really did want with his expedition. BACK ON TOPIC PLEASE.

patchwork_cat

ringo_24601 wrote: »

Could you suggest he gets a job to pay for some of this?

Yes that is exactly what we did do and he is going to - although with his St John's ambulance, hospice visiting, Karate ( he is nearly black belt;)), and other D of E activities not mention the necessary partying! and studying I don't know when. He is going to raise the funds to do something a bit different. Any suggestions for an exciting trip?

princeofpounds

am not going to push my son into doing anything. Is that what constitutes good parenting in your book?

oh dear, it was just a turn of phrase! urge, encourage, whatever.

And it wasn't meant to be patronising. I can see how the phrase 'what exactly...' may have come across that way but it was just a genuine request for clarification, don't be too touchy!

I'm not a doctor or dentist, but something of an equal level professionally and financially. But I did DofE and was straight As and firsts all the way through to postgrad level (except my B in GCSE art!), so I was exactly in his position at his stage (if you were wondering why it's relevant!).

And my advice from having done it is for him to do it too.

I'm sorry the costs appear to have been thrust upon you.

patchwork_cat

He is doing it Prince - it is the expedition that is being rushed on us. He hasn't even finished his first full week at sixth form yet, we are in a tail spin! It is too rushed.

Seriously though at this stage I am very led by his wishes although obviously I advise hence the D of E and voluntary work. As a doctor's daughter I was talked out of medicine by my parents and contrary to most people am trying to talk him out of Medicine and Dentistry. I think Pharmacy is the career for him - decent money, although not on the level of dentistry!- less stress and really quite mathematical and scientific which is very him. He will follow his great grandmother and great-great grandfather on that route rather than his great grandfather ,grandfather and grandmother on the medicine route.

vaio

patchwork_cat wrote: »

Yes that is exactly what we did do and he is going to - although with his St John's ambulance, hospice visiting, Karate ( he is nearly black belt;)), and other D of E activities not mention the necessary partying! and studying I don't know when. He is going to raise the funds to do something a bit different. Any suggestions for an exciting trip?

The trekking in Morocco or canoeing in Canada sound fun but if £150 is a struggle that is going to limit his choices somewhat.