Some advice on helping bf be debt-free

piratefairy

Could someone offer me some advice pls..

My bf is in debt, he got divorced last year and basically bought a house in Feb which he realises now he cant afford. He has difficuly paying mortgage and that has an effect on everything else.

I'm not sure what to do in order to help, I don't live with him, so we dont share bills or anything, I have no real money saved up which I could lend him, and live in rented accom. on a budget myself which I generally stick to, having no debts to pay myself.

Can anyone suggest me a starting point, he tries to avoid tlking to me about it, saying it's not my problem but his, but obviously tht just puts a strain on our relationship as well. I'm not exactly in a position to help, but know he's overdrawn on his bank account, has loan repayments and a mortgage to pay, as well as the usual bills.

Not sure where to start. Help??

Tixy

Hi Piratefairy

Well done on trying to help him, its not easy making people take advice if they are not ready to share. The first thing we advise and that might help him is if he completed a detailed financial statement of affairs http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html (like a budget). Just writing things down will help him see if he can manage the problem or if he is spending more every month than he earns.
If he can be persuaded to post the results on here we may be able to suggest savings or solutions to him.

Would it be feasible for him to get a lodger at his new house (this is tax free money if its less than £4,250pa).

If he is on a repayment mortgage could he consider switching to interest only for a short while? Can he work overtime or get a second job?

I would not advise you to lend him money (even if you had it) or to take out any credit in your name to help him.

piratefairy

Thanks, Tixy. I have told him from the start that I will be here to help him, but will categorically not get involved in lending him money - I have learnt from my past experiences that this is just a way to ruin friendships and relationships and don't want to go down the same route again.

I have looked into, and suggested to him the lodger idea, but he didn't seem keen. However, given the frequency with which his bank seems to be contacting him at the moment, I can only assume the situation is getting worse. (I think it's time to sit him down and decide what to do about it, as it's getting me down as well as him).