Feel like I've let the missus down

Clipper235

Not really expecting any advice but just need to get this off my chest.

I earn £30,000 per annum
I owe £5000 Halifax loan 3 years left(£192 per month) + £7200 on Capital One CC(£210 per month)

The missus knows about the Halifax loan but not about the CC. I feel I have let her down terribly. The CC has been used mostly to decorate and furnish our house, and I promised her I wasnt getting into debt doing so!

The monthly repayments and all other monthly bills arent an issue but I want to get rid of the CC debt. Ive tried desperatley to get a consilidation loan with the Halifax and elsewhere but no one will give me a loan, which I think is a bit harsh as the monthly repayments will be less than im paying now!

I know its all my fault, and Ive given up hope of clearing the debt and looks like it will hang over me for ever.

Boll:mad:ocks to it all....

Thisisforthekids

Honestly mate I wouldnt worry to much,

I dont know what you relationship is like but can you not come clean and work something out together?

The general view on here is that consilidation loans are not a good idea!!

Can you not get a 0% CC and really put your heads together and pay it off quickly, you would be suprised at what you can achieve with the help of people on here.

If you post your SOA(up to you) then everyone can have a look and let you know if your goals are achievable.

Try not to feel guilty your dishonesty was not negative and decitful, just a bit irresponsible(which 9-10 people on here have been), stick around and give the MSE way a try, its very addictive.

pepe2008

Earning £45,000 and running up £64,000 of debt on the qt.........THATS letting her down!
Believe me, talking is best. Do it now while things are still manageable. Yes she'll be upset, but not half as much as finding out when it all goes t*ts up or you get ill or depressed from the worry of having debt that you think is unmanageable AND keeping it from her.

Good Luck with it all.

dizzybuff

First rule of a relationship is share everything .. Tell her . tell her you are dealing with it and you are sorry ..

If she is anything like me she will have figured something is on ur mind..

Do your SOA , post it on here , then she has it in front of her where u stand

Then work at it as a tem like my Dh and me ... its easier with 2 .. Although Dh does say im a bit obsessive sometimes...

Good luck what ever your decision ...

Ps get ur missus to look at the old style boards , some fab ideas on there , you;; have the debt gone in no time

Jesthar

Hey Clipper,

Seriously, if you're earning 30k a year and your outgoings are reasonable, there is no reason why you can't shift this debt in a good timeframe - OK, it's going to take a few years, but it can be done. Overpaying on a Credit Card is the easiest thing iin the world, and it can cut monts/years off your repayment time.

I suspect the biggest problem is not wanting to tell your lady, isn't it? That's up to you - do you think you can pay it off without her finding out accidentally (which would obviously be a big shock!), or would it be better to be honest with her now and tackle it together after the initial earbending? You'll have to make that decision for youself, but I would suggest honest is the best policy. If you do decide to tell her, it would also be a good idea to always sit down and do your finances together every month in future.

In the mantime, how about posting up your Statement of Affairs? This is a sort of ummary of your financial position, and is great for working out where you can save money to pay extra off your debt. Our favourite calculator for this can be found here:

http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

If you use the 'MSE' button in the 'Format' section, it will generate a version you can copy and paste straight into a new post here.

~Jes

McKneff

If you got a consolidation loan, it really wouldnt help, yes the monthly payments would be lower but you'd be in debt a lot longer and you would be paying piles more interest.

Stop beating yourself up about it.

I think you'd be best being up front with your OH (yes, she will probably be horrified for a few minutes) but as the cc debt benefitted both of you you can both work hard at getting rid of the debt.

If you cant bring yourself to actually say the words, get her to read this thread.
(then duck):rotfl:sorry, coulndt resist, just my geordie sense of humour.
I know its serious but a little levity is never out of place to lighten the moment. - Good luck, whatever you decide.

Redbedhead

Tell your OH. If she is anything like me she will be more annoyed if you keep it from her than actually that you have got in to debt, particularly as the debt is in relation to doing your house up etc.

Forget about the consolidation loan. Look at getting a 0% or life of balance card and get the interest costs down as low as possible then throw every bit of spare cash at the debt.