Name after marriage

birduk

I've been thinking about this too, mostly as I have just got engaged- It is a relief to read all your responses thank you ladies.

Well can I keep being Dr C and Mrs M? The reason is that obviously I got my doctorate in my name and not his, so would like to keep it that way. I have enough trouble whereby people think I am a man as it is (I am an engineer). I have no idea how letters would be addressed? Dr C and Mr M or Mr and Mrs M?

The other thing is that his surname is from his grandfather in the Ukraine, which is obviously his heritage, but he is Yorkshire through and through. I wouldn't want to be thought of as Eastern European, just because I am not. I don't mean that to sound ignorant, but I guess it is a bit.

I guess what I am asking, is: is this possible?

frannyann

To be honest, I think its quite normal to keep maiden name for work if you work in a profession, in which your name is a 'badge' of your work. And I don't think many people will blink an eye if you keep it that way. Our consultant in A&E is still known as Miss X even though she has been Mrs Y for many years. Its all about personal choice.

grastgirl

Birduk, I also got my PhD in my maiden name. The addressing letters thing has made me wonder as well, but I figured it doesn't really matter, as we so rarely get stuff addressed to the both of us anyway. Strangely I would probably go with Dr G (for work) and Mrs S (for everythign else) as well, but technically my OH is Dr S, but he uses Mr S because he's not working in science anymore, so we could be any of:
Mr and Mrs S
Dr and Dr S
Dr S and Dr G
Mr S and Dr G

I would want my kids to have the same name as both of us, so I would like to change it for everything but work.

Shellsuit, I don't have a middle name, but I'm not sure I'd want to have to explain it all the time.

never_enough

birduk wrote: »

I've been thinking about this too, mostly as I have just got engaged- It is a relief to read all your responses thank you ladies.

Well can I keep being Dr C and Mrs M? The reason is that obviously I got my doctorate in my name and not his, so would like to keep it that way. I have enough trouble whereby people think I am a man as it is (I am an engineer). I have no idea how letters would be addressed? Dr C and Mr M or Mr and Mrs M?

The other thing is that his surname is from his grandfather in the Ukraine, which is obviously his heritage, but he is Yorkshire through and through. I wouldn't want to be thought of as Eastern European, just because I am not. I don't mean that to sound ignorant, but I guess it is a bit.

I guess what I am asking, is: is this possible?

Yes you can be Dr/Mrs, but it just requires thought at some steps, especially where travel is concerned. Your passport has to be in one or the other & after discussing this with others it seemed easier to have it in
his (ours , the married name!) rather than mine. Interesting scenario if you're an invited speaker to a country that requires you to obtain a visa but your passport is in your married name, the invitation is in your maiden/work name & you can't make people understand why you need an invitation issued in another name..... :eek: Carrying your marriage certificate becomes second nature, it at least establishes a link from one name to another name.
His name being seen as foreign, yep,I think that may be a leeeeeetle 'ignorant sounding' on your part, & you have the chance to buck the trend of peoples perceptions, embrace that for the family honour!!!

never_enough

grastgirl wrote: »

Birduk, I also got my PhD in my maiden name. The addressing letters thing has made me wonder as well, but I figured it doesn't really matter, as we so rarely get stuff addressed to the both of us anyway. Strangely I would probably go with Dr G (for work) and Mrs S (for everythign else) as well, but technically my OH is Dr S, but he uses Mr S because he's not working in science anymore, so we could be any of:
Mr and Mrs S
Dr and Dr S
Dr S and Dr G
Mr S and Dr G

I would want my kids to have the same name as both of us, so I would like to change it for everything but work.

Shellsuit, I don't have a middle name, but I'm not sure I'd want to have to explain it all the time.

Think that's quite common, so should present no problems.