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I am responsible
Emby_2
Posts: 103 Forumite
Firstly I want to apologise for crashing the other thread AND the following is in no way negative, it is wholly positive and empowering when a person stops bothering with the blame game because it doesnt move you forward.
I feel it is very important for people in the same financial situation I was /am in to realise certain very important things which, when you realise this truth, it puts you in a very positive frame of mind and moves you forward as you take back control. It puts you back in the driving seat.
These are the questions I asked myself.
When I was offered credit, which was quick and easy was the creditor responsible for MY decision to say yes regardless of how easy they made it for me?
No, of course not! I made my own decision, no one else is responsible for that!
When I say yes to an offer when I know I should probably say no regardless of whether it temporarily eases a situation does that give me the right to get angry and blame the party who made the offer for MY decision to say yes?
No, Of course not! I decided to say yes of my own accord. They are not to blame for my decision. My decision is my responsibility and I have to accept that.
Yes I completly agree the banks are completly irresponsible for lending money so easily and are now paying the price for their bad and corrupt decision making.
The banks are not me. I accepted the credit when I should not have done. I got myself into this mess by accepting things offered to me even though they should not have been. I was the one who still said yes!
It doesn't matter what the situation is, it is very important that people take responsibility for where their lives are.
Does dwelling on angry thoughts of how things were given to you so easily move you forward 1. get you anywhere or 2. Make you feel any good?
Of course not!
I am posting about this topic for a positive reason:
When you stop blaming the creditors for making it so easy for you and realise that you were the one who did actually say yes when you had the power to say no all of that anger dissipates and you suddenly realise that a world of options opens up to you. Some of those options are not pleasant, some will not help and some will help you move forward but the decision is yours again. You get back control of your life even if it is in a terrifying place and you can decide where it goes and how you get there.
Taking responsibility for your own decisions is essential when it comes to getting yourself out of bad debt. It doesn't matter how it was made easy to get those loans because thats all in the past and you don't get anywhere thinking about that.
Look to the future and what YOU can now do about it.
Here is To Moving Forward
I feel it is very important for people in the same financial situation I was /am in to realise certain very important things which, when you realise this truth, it puts you in a very positive frame of mind and moves you forward as you take back control. It puts you back in the driving seat.
These are the questions I asked myself.
When I was offered credit, which was quick and easy was the creditor responsible for MY decision to say yes regardless of how easy they made it for me?
No, of course not! I made my own decision, no one else is responsible for that!
When I say yes to an offer when I know I should probably say no regardless of whether it temporarily eases a situation does that give me the right to get angry and blame the party who made the offer for MY decision to say yes?
No, Of course not! I decided to say yes of my own accord. They are not to blame for my decision. My decision is my responsibility and I have to accept that.
Yes I completly agree the banks are completly irresponsible for lending money so easily and are now paying the price for their bad and corrupt decision making.
The banks are not me. I accepted the credit when I should not have done. I got myself into this mess by accepting things offered to me even though they should not have been. I was the one who still said yes!
It doesn't matter what the situation is, it is very important that people take responsibility for where their lives are.
Does dwelling on angry thoughts of how things were given to you so easily move you forward 1. get you anywhere or 2. Make you feel any good?
Of course not!
I am posting about this topic for a positive reason:
When you stop blaming the creditors for making it so easy for you and realise that you were the one who did actually say yes when you had the power to say no all of that anger dissipates and you suddenly realise that a world of options opens up to you. Some of those options are not pleasant, some will not help and some will help you move forward but the decision is yours again. You get back control of your life even if it is in a terrifying place and you can decide where it goes and how you get there.
Taking responsibility for your own decisions is essential when it comes to getting yourself out of bad debt. It doesn't matter how it was made easy to get those loans because thats all in the past and you don't get anywhere thinking about that.
Look to the future and what YOU can now do about it.
Here is To Moving Forward
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Comments
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You dont work for A4E do you?Thats it, i am done, Blind-as-a-Bat has left the forum, for good this time, there is no way I can recover this account, as the password was random, and not recorded, and the email used no longer exits, nor can be recovered to recover the account, goodbye all ………….
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What is A4E?
Look, I am trying to have a discussion about a topic which is important when it comes to personal debt.
Some constructive discussion would be great.
I am responsible for my own actions.0 -
What is A4E?
Look, I am trying to have a discussion about a topic which is important when it comes to personal debt.
If you don't have anything constructive to say please don't bother.
Many people do get annoyed when they suddenly realise they are responsible for their own situations, I did when it dawned on me but then I took charge and made important decisions.
touchy arnt we:rolleyes:
FYI i went BR in 2007, i have had to live with it longer than most here, save two or three, and no i dont agree with your view.
If you do some digging and find out what i did you will realise why.
When i went BR i did hold myself responsable, but could never understand how i managed to get so far in, so i started trying to find out why, what i uncovered was a trail of incompidance on the part of my main lender.
I tried giving you a reasonable responce on the other thread, and you ignored it.
I stated you wher not completly wrong, but you are not right either, as every situation is differant, and responsibilaty is a two way thing.Thats it, i am done, Blind-as-a-Bat has left the forum, for good this time, there is no way I can recover this account, as the password was random, and not recorded, and the email used no longer exits, nor can be recovered to recover the account, goodbye all ………….
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I agree wholeheartedly with you on some points. Anger, blame etc is all a waste of energy and doesn't help to move you forward. It leads to more stress, depression and illness in some cases. I think you can see from some of my previous posts - I have pointed this out to many people before.Firstly I want to apologise for crashing the other thread AND the following is in no way negative, it is wholly positive and empowering when a person stops bothering with the blame game because it doesnt move you forward.
I feel it is very important for people in the same financial situation I was /am in to realise certain very important things which, when you realise this truth, it puts you in a very positive frame of mind and moves you forward as you take back control. It puts you back in the driving seat.
These are the questions I asked myself.
When I was offered credit, which was quick and easy was the creditor responsible for MY decision to say yes regardless of how easy they made it for me?
No, of course not! I made my own decision, no one else is responsible for that!
When I say yes to an offer when I know I should probably say no regardless of whether it temporarily eases a situation does that give me the right to get angry and blame the party who made the offer for MY decision to say yes?
No, Of course not! I decided to say yes of my own accord. They are not to blame for my decision. My decision is my responsibility and I have to accept that.
Yes I completly agree the banks are completly irresponsible for lending money so easily and are now paying the price for their bad and corrupt decision making.
The banks are not me. I accepted the credit when I should not have done. I got myself into this mess by accepting things offered to me even though they should not have been. I was the one who still said yes!
It doesn't matter what the situation is, it is very important that people take responsibility for where their lives are.
Does dwelling on angry thoughts of how things were given to you so easily move you forward 1. get you anywhere or 2. Make you feel any good?
Of course not!
I am posting about this topic for a positive reason:
When you stop blaming the creditors for making it so easy for you and realise that you were the one who did actually say yes when you had the power to say no all of that anger dissipates and you suddenly realise that a world of options opens up to you. Some of those options are not pleasant, some will not help and some will help you move forward but the decision is yours again. You get back control of your life even if it is in a terrifying place and you can decide where it goes and how you get there.
Taking responsibility for your own decisions is essential when it comes to getting yourself out of bad debt. It doesn't matter how it was made easy to get those loans because thats all in the past and you don't get anywhere thinking about that. This is true for everything life throws at you, not just debt.
Look to the future and what YOU can now do about it.
Here is To Moving Forward
Not all bankruptcies come about for the same reasons though. Some people can go along happily for years servicing their debt and things suddenly take them off course (loss of job, illness, marital breakdown, death of spouse, etc etc etc). So not all people who go bankrupt have been irresponsible in any way.
Regarding business BRs. Most start up businesses take out a business loan with a personal guarantee. Banks that make these kind of loans know there is risk involved so they must have happily taken that risk when they lent the money. For the BR person in this scenario they also took a risk but I wouldn't call this irresponsible either. How many new businesses fail? Surely banks factor this kind of loss into their lending criteria.
Emby - as I've said above, I agree with you about taking control, not being a victim and about blame, anger etc not helping so once a person has decided to go bankrupt that still holds true. Making the decision to go bankrupt is a way of taking responsibility and regaining control so for the person to keep blaming themselves or their partner or the banks etc is a waste of their energy. It needs to be turned around into positive energy to move forward. "I've gotten myself into this situation, how can I get out of it and move forward?" etc.
:j :j
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I was touchy as what you wrote seemed like a dig.I stated you wher not completly wrong, but you are not right either, as every situation is differant, and responsibilaty is a two way thing.
Great, this is more like it.
I completly agree that it is made WAY TOO EASY to get credit and the banks often encourage you to go with it - they are responsible for their actions and are paying for them.
Im trying to encourage people to stop playing the blame game.
They are responsible for themselves, we are responsible for ourselves.
They opened the door for you but the individual has to walk through the door themselves.0 -
While i can see where EMBY is coming from, i am sure the will aknowledge the fact that one your declared BR and before that, the only persons to blame for the debit is you. No one in any way is forced to accept any credit and the fact that its part of modern day like is neither here or there, in the states if you pay with anything but a card your considered lower class, a drug dealer etc, this is now crossing the pond to this country. After BR we all learn (well most) from our past but as our past is the past it pays not to dwell on it just learn.
:silenced: Head out of sand 19/08/2009 :j
Ex senior arrears administrator with major bank:eek:0 -
I was touchy as what you wrote seemed like a dig.
Great, this is more like it.
I completly agree that it is made WAY TOO EASY to get credit and the banks often encourage you to go with it - they are responsible for their actions and are paying for them.
Im trying to encourage people to stop playing the blame game.
They are responsible for themselves, we are responsible for ourselves.
They opened the door for you but you were the one who walked through it all by yourself!
Except i was not at the time, as i stated in the other thread, christ, i was not even allowed to take a bath or shower, or go out without supervision at the time, let alone be financially responsible:rolleyes:
During that period i have many days, and weeks, i can not even remember
Was a lovely place though, looking back, better than reality anyday:pThats it, i am done, Blind-as-a-Bat has left the forum, for good this time, there is no way I can recover this account, as the password was random, and not recorded, and the email used no longer exits, nor can be recovered to recover the account, goodbye all ………….
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Good for you Emby, but I think we have all realised that we had gotten are selves in a hole some have managed to get them selves out, but in some case where people have lost there jobs or who are ill and who have had there business closed down on them have not had much choice but to go Bankrupt. A lot of us where earning good money and managed are debts, till one of the above things happened to us, then there is no choice.Sealed Pot Number 018 🎄2009..£950.50 🎄2010..£256 🎄 2011..£526 🎄2012..£548.80 🎄2013...£758.88🎄2014...£510 🎄2015...£604.78 🎄2016...£704.50 🎄2017...£475 🎄2018...£1979.12 🎄2019...£408.88🎄2020...£1200.63...🎄2021…£588 🎄2022 £672… 🎄2023 £3,783.90 🎄2024…£3,882.57🎄2025…£4083.🎄20260
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While i can see where EMBY is coming from, i am sure the will aknowledge the fact that one your declared BR and before that, the only persons to blame for the debit is you. No one in any way is forced to accept any credit and the fact that its part of modern day like is neither here or there, in the states if you pay with anything but a card your considered lower class, a drug dealer etc, this is now crossing the pond to this country. After BR we all learn (well most) from our past but as our past is the past it pays not to dwell on it just learn.
Morty - please read my post above - not everyone goes bankrupt for the same reasons and not everyone who is bankrupt is responsible for the situation they are in.
:j :j
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Fiveyearplan I agree 100% with you, i myself am on verge on BR due to loss of job and no jobs about, we all have indivadual problems that add up to a br in so many different ways, but by the mere fact that most of us apply for br ourselves then that should be viewed as taking the bull by the horns:silenced: Head out of sand 19/08/2009 :j
Ex senior arrears administrator with major bank:eek:0
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