Mature students

missychrissy

I became a mature student in 1994, first to do an access course and then a history degree. My children were 7, 9, 14 and 16. I also had 2 big dogs a Boxer and a Doberman. Oh, I nearly forgot, I also had a husband. However, he left us at the end of the first year of my degree. He felt neglected and started seeing a woman 17 years younger than him to whom he is now married.

My ex husband has shouldered no responsibility for any of his children and has not had any of them to stay with him for even one night since leaving us. He was extremely mean with his maintenance and at one stage stopped it completely for a few months. I took a year out of my degree to try and sell the house and sort out the practical problems and I returned to nursing after an absence of nearly 20 years. It took me 3 years to sell the house but I returned to finish the remaining 2 years of my degree. Initially I tried to continue only working in the uni hols but by my final year I had to also work in term time. I worked 2 evenings a week and 2 full days, Sat and Sun, totalling 38 hours per week during term time and longer hours in the hols.

I tell you all this to show that even under very difficult cicumstances it is possible to be a mature student. I struggled with serious financial difficulties. I sold my jewellery, furniture, ornaments, clothes etc., downsized my car (needed it to travel the 15 miles to uni) and gave the dogs away in 1997 much to the upset of my children. I had some weeks when I wasn't sure how I was going to feed everybody but i usually managed to sell something just in time. However, I did manage to finish my degree with the additional help of student loans.

I wasn't the only mature student whose relationship broke down as a result of further education. It was quite common amongst my fellow students. I hope you all fair better and have lovely supportive partners.

I have to say as a result of all the above, my sons can all cook, having had to fend for themselves when I was at uni or work. We were fans of one pot cooking throwing in most anything we had. Pasta was always a quick, cheap and easy meal to prepare. Mince could be turned into many different dishes. In addition my sons all found employment whilst at school, in order to generate their own spending money. Three of them have gone on to university and my youngest is planning on going back to college next year then on to uni. We all survived my 4 years as a mature student. I came out of the whole experience a fiercely independent individual having survived during that time: the breakdown of my marriage; the subsequent divorce; bringing up four sons entirely on my own; serious financial difficulties and moving house.

Good luck with your courses!

princess_lou

Passed my assessment and am know a student... feeling rather pleased as i didnt think i would get in...

missychrissy

princess_lou wrote: »

Passed my assessment and am know a student... feeling rather pleased as i didnt think i would get in...

Congratulations and good luck with your course. What are you going to be studying?:T

princess_lou

Thanku missy.. Im studying social work... really excited... I read ur story and u should be v proud of ur self u have achieved alot under such hard circumstances. I split with my first childs dad under not to pleasent ending.. am now happy wiv a new partner with a baby and my older son adores him.. so hope u get the same its wot u deserve( it can happen!!) x x

yummymummy79

Obviously it will depend on the course and how many hours you are in lectures for. I'm a 'full time' student but rarely had more than 12 hours a week actually in Uni. I have my son half the week, and OH doesn't live with me but is round quite often.

I didn't actually find it any more difficult managing being a student than I did when working 3 days a week. Went shopping on one of my free days, was always home by 4pm on lecture days so cooking tea wasn't a problem. Admittedly I did buy lunch when I was in uni over lunchtime so not especially OS, but it was reasonably cheap to eat there, and I took some snacks in for the in between lecture nibbles.

Don't want to rub in how I managed reasonably easily, but I guess it just shows that it doesn't have to be tricky. Obviously it helps if you are organised with the coursework/essay side of things and get that done during gaps in your timetable and when the kids are in bed etc.

shazba

congrats princess lou on becoming a student and missychrissy you have come so far and done so well good on you!I am a bit nervous and excited all at the same time!But i am really lookin forward to it.xx

missychrissy

One of the hardest things I found to tackle when I was a mature student was fitting in the housework. Cooking, washing up, doing the washing and ironing wasn't a problem as I did them on 'need to do' basis. It was things like dusting, vacuuming, washing floors etc. that was hard to fit in. I always considered doing my uni work to be a higher priority than cleaning. I got round this several ways. I made my older sons responsible for their own rooms and my younger ones too once they were about 12. I ignored how messy they let them get at times. After all they had to live in them not me. In addition, when I could afford it, I used to pay a friend of mine for a few hours housework every now and then. In addition, sometimes I would pay my children to do the cleaning. A job only half done was sometimes better than a job not done at all. However, they tended to do this on a 'needing money' basis rather then the 'house needs cleaning' basis. I also made them all learn to handle an iron once they reached 13. This reduced the 4 shirts a day I had previously been ironing.

I would advocate enlist as much help as possible. This leaves you free to get on with your studies and not worry about the state of the house.

Moomum

Bicks wrote: »

I'm about to start my 2nd year at uni and I'm 'mature' with a husband, cat and dog.

The first year is about getting through it, I reckon. It's going to be tough, but you'll be fine.

Had to cut loads away but what a lovely reply!! So much effort went into it!! xx

ANY_CHANCE

Good luck with your new course,

I am a full time student in the second year with three children, cat & guinea pigs. It has been a rollercoaster ride so far but still sticking to it and still enjoying it on the whole. Had lots of help from here, motivation for meal planning and budgeting to keep me in check and not over spend!

Definately take your own meals as it all mounts up, a simple cold drink costs £1 at uni and we even have to pay for hot water!!