It's all too much, now I'm paranoid as well.

dollparts

I know I have had a fair few wobbles since I started posting here but I am really worried about this and am hoping someone can help me with this please?

I still jointly own my home with soon2be exhb. Our mortgage arrears are approx 3600. I'm moving out very soon, have found a place to rent and am planning to do either one of the following:

a) hand the keys back after going BR when I leave and tell them to sort it out with ex.

b) informing lender immediately after going BR so they can contact him and try to get him to pay (good luck to them with that)

c) do nothing and wait until they start repo process

Do I have a legal obligation to tell ex that I'm going BR? I think I read somewhere that he has to give consent before I can hand keys back?

I have racked my brains trying to cover every possible scenario but am still not sure what to do?

Aside from this I have another worry.

I have read and kinda understood the BI thing. Am I right in thinking ex can't buy BI unless he can clear arrears too?

If he can clear them and does so, can he then buy the BI for £1 and then start paying the mortgage?

I know it sounds petty but I don't want things to be that easy for him. I know he doesn't have the money to do this but I'm willing to bet if his mum got wind of this condition she would bust out her cheque book and pay off the arrears and spin some web to get hold of the house for her other son.

I know I shouldn't be concerning myself with what evil mum in law may or may not do. It's just I fought hard for 2 years after ex left to hold onto our home for dd's sake and I would hate to think she or her sons would profit from my misfortunes.



If anyone can tell me anything about any of these queries I may be able to get some sleep tonight!

I have never worried about anything as much as BR. it taxes my brain 24/7

Bethankim

I cant help you with the first part...all of that baffles me

as for how you feel, right now and i know you might not beleive me is the most emtional part - think of it like grieving for your oldlife, it might not have been perfect but you at least knew the rules of it. Bnakruptcy and beyond is something you dont know yet and the thought of it all is scary..

ok pop psychology over...:D:D

what every your ex Mil does or your ex - they are your ex for a reason petal, move on you have no claim over your house now unless you choose to stay and can pay but you know you cant..so breath deep and let it go.

you and your dd are the most important not anyone else

hugs

Beth
x

blind-as-a-bat_2

dollparts wrote: »

I know I have had a fair few wobbles since I started posting here but I am really worried about this and am hoping someone can help me with this please?

I still jointly own my home with soon2be exhb. Our mortgage arrears are approx 3600. I'm moving out very soon, have found a place to rent and am planning to do either one of the following:

a) hand the keys back after going BR when I leave and tell them to sort it out with ex.

b) informing lender immediately after going BR so they can contact him and try to get him to pay (good luck to them with that)

c) do nothing and wait until they start repo process may be easiest option, but can lead to a long drawn out afair

Do I have a legal obligation to tell ex that I'm going BR?No I think I read somewhere that he has to give consent before I can hand keys back?yes

I have racked my brains trying to cover every possible scenario but am still not sure what to do?

Aside from this I have another worry.

I have read and kinda understood the BI thing. Am I right in thinking ex can't buy BI unless he can clear arrears too? The arears are irrelavent to the OR, that is down to the mortgage provider, most will come to an agreemant, but it does depend how much is owed vs how much they may lose

If he can clear them and does so, can he then buy the BI for £1 and then start paying the mortgage? see above, he can buy the BI regardless of arrears, whether that is wise for him to do so............

I know it sounds petty but I don't want things to be that easy for him. I know he doesn't have the money to do this but I'm willing to bet if his mum got wind of this condition she would bust out her cheque book and pay off the arrears and spin some web to get hold of the house for her other son.

I know I shouldn't be concerning myself with what evil mum in law may or may not do. It's just I fought hard for 2 years after ex left to hold onto our home for dd's sake and I would hate to think she or her sons would profit from my misfortunes.



If anyone can tell me anything about any of these queries I may be able to get some sleep tonight!

I have never worried about anything as much as BR. it taxes my brain 24/7

...................

iquit

I'm really sorry to hear about your difficulties DP. As hard as it is you need to focus on letting go. Going bankrupt is an opportunity for you to start again. Don't hold on to negative thoughts, it'll only drag you down. I went through similar and the only way I managed to hold on to my sanity was to switch off my 'hate/anger/rage' button and let karma deal with my ex - what goes around comes around. I walked out of my former home, didn't hand over keys, just told bank they were welcome to take their house back. Just focus on you and your daughter and begin to build a life for the two of you. I wish you all the best in all that you do. I hope I don't come across as being critical - have read and re-read, don't want to seem unsympathetic.

peachyprice

Your ex buying the BI has absolutely nothing to do with the mortgage arrears. If he wants to clear the arrears he can do this without buying the BI, and he can buy the BI without clearing the mortgage arrears (not that he would, but it is possible). The two things are unrelated.

As he is the joint owner buying the BI is only buying your share of any future equity, so that if the house was sold for a profit anytime in the future it would be 100% his. The BI also has nothing to do with who's name is on the mortgage or deeds, if he buys the BI from the OR and stops the house being repossessed the only way you will be off the mortgage is if he re-mortgages in his own name, and the only way you will be off the deeds is if you and he go to a solicitor to have you removed.

I'm afraid he is entitled to pay off the arrears and keep the house if he wants to once you have moved out.

You do not have any legal obligation to tell him you are going BR but you cannot lock him out of his own property, so once you move out you should send the keys to him.

Your mortgage lender won't care that you are going BR because until the house is repossessed it is not included in your BR and you will both still be jointly liable for it.

HTH

dollparts

Thanks to everyone for your views and support on this. Aside from the facts I understand it wouldn't have been an easy post to reply to but I certainly never viewed any of the comments as critical or unsympathetic.

I agree my focus needs to be taking care of my daughter and moving on, drawing a line and letting go of my home. I didn't expect to suddenly feel attached to it-after all it was the home I shared with my ex but strangely it's not the case.

I suppose it's natural because I'm veturing into the unknown. New things occur to me every day about the whole situation. Questions, queries and tbh I just feel a little too old to be so unsure of what used to be the basic ways of living my life.

I'm still not fully decided on which course of action I should take with the house. I think I'll contact CCCS and just be guided by what they say. Then it will be in the hands of the lender/ex to do whatever is neccesary and or possible.

Whatever does happen to the old house, I need to get rid ASAP because otherwise I will be saddling myself with the full costs of rent which I won't be able to afford so need to claim LHA as soon as I file for BR.

I'll give them a call and let you know what they advise.

Thanks again everyone for your help. More importantly, thanks for your honesty.

DP x

fiveyearplan

Hi Dollparts

I echo what everyone else says - move on and don't be saddled with the negative thoughts of what will happen to your house. Move on and put your energy into building your new home!