Help

tireesix

Hi,

Both me and DH have been 'ill' for a while so on income support etc.

In total each month we get about £900 a month. " years ago, the DWP messed up and we didn't get the righ amount of benefit for over a year, we got out a loan to help out but now we seem to have spiralled out of control (almost).

We now owe

Bank 4500 (about £80/month)
ODaft 260
Gas 200 (about £30/month)
Catalogues nearly £400 (about £40/month)
Course costs of 1100 (£39/month, get this, I am training to become a book keeper and I can't even get a hold of my own finances).

I think thats about it. DH and I do not go out, he is usually too busy doing an OU course, I have 2 children + my own course work to do so I have to admit we do splash out on the TV (sky £36/month).

I did ask for help with payplan, they told me to write to the companies etc to see if I can get lower repayments but I have a problem with this, I suffer severe anxiety, chronic social phobia and despite trying I just can't sort out the letters and DH doesn't believe we have a problem so won't do anything (I know it sounds stupid but it is a real issue for me, I have problems just talking on the telephone, payplan would prefer it if I spoke to them on the phone but I am finding it impossible..... Just about managing here, its so pathetic).

I did think about trying to sort out consolidating our debt but we have a poor credit rating so no one is prepared to lend to us......

I have real problems budgeting, I put away what we need each month for debt, travel to see DHs son etc, bills etc and we have 220 ish left over per fortnight for food, household products etc..... But I am really crap with shopping, we are vegetarian (well, I am not really), 3 of us are allergic to milk products which seems to mean buying alternatives gets expensive and I have to avoid to many oxalates in my diet which cuts out lots of nice nutrtous fruit and veg etc which would have made for a cheaper diet........

To just make it easier, has anyone got any tips, anything.......

Peony

With the shopping, could you maybe plan out what you are going to eat that week/fortnight and make a list of exactly what you need. Even if this means eating meals in rotas like school dinners it might help to follow a structure? Maybe your GP could get you a referal to a dietician/nutritionist who could help you plan some meals that suit your family's situation? If you need a non-dairy and non-meat source of protein then maybe you an buy some of the plain soya flakes/mince etc that you cook with other ingredients rather than buying vegetarian ready meals.

As for the debts, would you be able to go and see someone in person at the CAB for example, maybe with a friend or family member to help get you there? They don't have to go into the actual appointment and you don't have to tell them what it's about. Maybe there is a volunteer 'befriending' service in your area. You might not want to accept that kind of help, but my friend runs one of those schemes and she organises volunteers to help loads of people with problems like you - they don't just have to sit and talk to you in the house, they can also help you go out places if it would be easier with another person.

In terms of the TV, £36/month is quite a lot for me, because I never watch telly, but if that is your main entertainmet cost for the kids then it is serving a purpose.

Finally, don't do yourself down - you have managed to work out that you need to do something, you have come on here, and both you and your husband are studying to help get yourselves work in the future.

I guess all I can say is think how proud of yourself you would be if you could get it all sorted, do your best to fight your fear, and don't be afraid to accept help to get going.