Taking a holiday when in debt?

sparkle_monkey

I've got no-one to talk about this to. My dad bailed me out a couple of years ago and doesn't know I've accrued extra debt since, my friends all have houses, regular jobs and little understanding of my situation and my boyf earns 4 times as much as me. Anyone else says 'wow you must be loaded cos you live in Japan and have a good job', (where I saw a mango for 15 quid the other day!). I feel that I've let myself down cos in the first 2 years of being here all the debt I paid off I accrued again as a result of visits back to the uk and feeling I deserved that wine, those clothes that fit and nights out with my friends who I hadn't seen for a year.
In this year - my contract runs from August to August- I've paid off a lot of debt, got 2 extra jobs, quit smoking, drinking etc but it's still not enough. I'm going to be jobless in the summer, returning to the UK and will still have debt.

Don't shout at me, but before facing my debt I had planned to go traveling/volunteering in South America for a couple of months. What makes me know I haven't had my lightbulb is that I'm still thinking about doing it. I will receive a 3,000 tax rebate in November and thought I would use some of that. If I'm honest with myself I kind of don't want to go back to the UK, cos I'm feeling stressed about making a new life again, finding a job, make new friends and facing reverse culture shock. I still feel I deserve this trip with my friend, how stupid is that? I don't know how to change my thinking. Because I will be tied to London training, studying and working from Feb 2007 for min of 2 1/2 years I’ve convinced myself I should take a trip whilst I don't have the commitments.

I know my post might make people mad as I sound selfish and very much part of the having my cake and eating generation, but I recognise that I need a kick up the !!!!!! and some advice. I know this is the place where people will be honest! Please can you help me reprogram my inbuilt desire for gratification and excitement?

lynzpower

Darling

How are you intending to pay for this, by getting into more debt? Sorry, but you will end up getting into more debt, if the 3k you use doesnt go on the debt, then techincally, you will be paying the interest etc on it, and secondly you will have nothing to live on. 3K is an ANSTROMICAL amount of money to be spending on something like this, really, and if you are expected to pay for placements to volunteer over adn above the board & food, you are being ripped off. Any of these i-2-i type scemes they are destruction for the communities they are meant to serve.

My mates been on 2 of these, and really poor reports about the so called charities involved.Tread VERY carefully if you insist on booking anything. If you really care about the communities donate the money direct to them, or volunteer here in the UK. People dont take easily to these suggestions, which confirms the fact that most people really, want a holiday.

The only holiday I would ever want to cost me this astonmomical amount of money would be my honey moon & saying that, I wuldnt pay it, its crazy.


Lynz x

Thriftylady

Good morning !

I'm not going to lecture you, but I am going to beg you not to run up more debt travelling!! The rest of the world isn't going anywhere, it will still be there in a few years time when you are in a better financial situation. And you are already massively priveleged (hmm, wrong spelling?) to have lived and worked abroad and had all the experiences, good and bad, that that involves.

I am 30 now, feel like I have been skint my whole adult life. Have some debt (accrued mostly during a period when husband was out of work and I was earning next to nothing, had no choice at the time but to buy the groceries/petrol etc on CC) which I desperately want to pay off before first baby arrives in the summer. With hindsight, I wasn't as sensible with my money as I thought at the time, but the one thing I am truly glad of is that I didn't give in to the pressure to spend money that I didn't have on travel. We didn't even have a honeymoon, and even seven years after getting married, I am still trying to 'justify' it to people, its amazing how many times in general conversation that people ask you where you went on honeymoon! I was 26 before I was on a plane for the first time, purely because I didn't have the money to go any sooner. (oooh, don't I sound a bit pompous?! don't mean to, sorry)

Thats off the subject a bit, but what I am trying to say is that when you return from your travels, your debts will still be there. For the first few weeks and months you will be so excited by your experiences that you will think they were worth it, but as the years go by and you are still paying for them, it will probably seem like less and less of a good deal. I am watching a close friend struggle (no lightbulb moment for her!) because she felt she 'deserved' a month long holiday to Australia last year. I am torn between feeling sorry for her that she thought a holiday would mend her broken heart, and feeling like I want to choke her for spending money she didn't have and then having the audacity to complain about being skint.

Please don't do it, you've cleared so much of your debt already, you don't honestly want to take a step back, do you?

scheming_gypsy

by using some of the £3,000 tax rebate she's due to get in November. Paragraph 2 lines 3 - 4

Anastacia

I dont thinking I am feeling my usual MSE self this morning, I'd go. Money spent on 'things' is often wasted but on experiences very infrequently as they change you & are with you your whole life. havtn said that I would clear as much debt as you can with the rebate & travel on a shoestring, not fork out loads. What about writing about some of your experiences & selling the articles (easier said than done i know) to get some more cash.

Must get back to work before I get told off. for leading you atray

Panda with wanderlust;)

spaghetti_monster

Hi there sparkle-monkey, sorry to hear you are feeling bad. I think that there are no easy answers (as usual!) - I really believe you need balance in things - ie. being disciplined with yourself but also kind to yourself, because that will keep you going!
Also would you get the gratification/excitement you're talking about from clearing lots of your debt?? It's a completely different kind of excitement, I know!

A few years ago I lived in South America for 2 years and when I got back to London I immediately went to stay in Italy with a family (I met in South America) for 6 weeks. Obviously this wasn't expensive as I was staying with friends but now I look back.......it was totally avoidance tactics for dealing with my reality. What I was going back to in London was difficult and depressing (so I thought) - only a few friends there, no work, loads of stuff to sort, not knowing where to start. To be honest, at first I did feel dreadful but now looking back.......this was literally only for a couple of months (at the time it seemed eternity!) and then things began to change and I really started to settle in.

One idea........you mentioned trips back to the UK as causing some of the debt. This made me think that when I came back from South America to visit the UK (only once actually now I think of it!) I went nuts trying to spend quality time with friends and family and just ended up spending quality time with public transport!
Also reminded me of another thread a few days ago on holidays - someone suggested staying in the UK and visiting people you knew.
But maybe this is a nice idea - quite cheap, you'd catch up with people, maybe start settling into being back.

Anyway, waffle over!

(btw South America is absolutely beautiful/spectacular/amazing! Sorry, that doesn't really help but had to say it!)

Thriftylady

I agree with Panda that experiences are with you for life. (Which sounds like it contradicts my previous post, I know!) But I wonder if clearing debts is the sort of thing where if you lose the momentum you might not get back on track again for a long time? I agree with Alex W about the avoidance thing, I know thats what my friend is doing. And the thing about travel is that its sort of addictive in itself, when you do it you just want to do it more......

freebird65

Hi there......I spent 15 years backpacking my way around the world and can honestly say it was the most rewarding experience of my life (never those £3k volunteer things though - a total waste of cash - you'd do better to go out and volunteer your help when there....it would cost you a fraction of the price!). I always worked until I'd saved £2-3K and then headed off until it had run out....travelling is great at teaching you many things and that includes managing your money!!!

In your situation I would do this....carry on as you are working hard to pay off those debts, go home, get another job and carry on working hard until you've paid it all off - that £3K rebate in Nov will be a massive boost. By about spring next year you should have enough to pack your rucksack and head off. And you know what? Then you really WILL deserve that trip, because you'll have earnt it!!

Good luck....I hope you make it because travelling is fab....and so is South America....well...Chile, which is the only place I've made it to there!

dinkylou

I know that I am going to be slated for saying this as this board is all about getting out of debt, but if I was you I would go.

Your debt isn't of staggering proportions and if you have the opportunity to have several months 'free' then I would go.

As you say, when you get back to London you will be working and studying for a long time and wont be going anywhere. But you have to pay off all your debts then.

Most people dont get the chance to have a 'few months off' and when you get back into having a steady full time job, you may regret missing the chance.

If you do decide to go, plan everything very carefully and budget so you dont get anymore debt. But at least you have an incentive from now until the end of your contract to cut back to bare minimum standard of living.

Dont regret missing the opportunity but dont go mad with your spending.

You need a balance between being debt free and enjoying your life whilst you can. Life is far too short.

ceegee

You wanted a kick up the !!!!!! and I'm just in the right mood to give you one!
You do not deserve a holiday. You have got into financial trouble before and been bailed out by your Dad. You are now in financial trouble again....whose fault is that? Not your Dad's. If you were my child I would be incensed that I had bailed you out once before only to see you blowing this £3000 on a holiday instead of putting it towards your new debt.

You are saying that you deserve this holiday, but you are just trying to justify it to yourself.

Do you feel kicked or are you going to come up with more reasons why you should not apply yourself and this money to your debt problem?

---

Gosh, that really was a vicious kick from me, wasn't it?:eek:

regards
ceegee

Tondella

Hi sparkle-money, we're in a similar but different situation to you in that we were £30k in debt but took the decision to organise our wedding before our debts are paid off. In the end money is not always the primary factor in making a decision. We basically sat down, set a budget for the wedding, worked out how much longer it would delay our debt free date and then decided to go for it. Some experiences aren't worth missing out on, but at least you can make an informed decision one way or another. All the best.