Is it worth it?

sammyw

Is it worth going to the CSA?

My child is 15. Ex won't pay a reasonable amount - last CSA assessment said he had to pay £17 a week. He hasn't paid that ever - we agreed years back that he would pay a much smaller amount and then help out when needed with uniforms or clothes when necessary. However the extra help never really materialised and now he won't even pay the small amount! Is it worth the hassle of getting the CSA to pick up where they left off and get the payments for me? Will it take a long time? I phoned them a few months back to see if it was still on their system and it is and the man I spoke to said they could start collecting but it would be better if we could come to an agreement. I think those days are long gone! Any suggestions?

catenorfolk

Everyones view is different, but i have been fighting for maintenance to be collected for years and i wont give up now. Even tho i have been managing, if i ever get the monies owed, i will hopefully be able to help the kids with university (if they go) maybe help with their first cars, perhaps towards a holiday. It will always come in handy somewhere along the line. But then there are other epeople who say they cant be bothered. The decision is yours as to whether you can be bothered!!!

dogcat_2

CSA...dont make me laugh....I have five children by my ex-husband. He's never paid a penny for any of them...the youngest is now 19!..I've been fighting for years. He's had hand delivered letters..still got away without paying. Has been self employed for years and years...earning a fortune...I don't know how he's got away with it!

sammyw

It's not that I can't be bothered, more that I know ex will obviously not like having to pay more and will then try and get me to change back to no csa, with my child in the middle. Previously he has told my child that i was doing it to get back at him etc etc and I really don't want the stress of all that, however if it will be simple and easy for the csa to start collecting then maybe I should phone them and start the ball rolling???

ETA Ex is not self employed.

steve9uk

Don't use the Csa. Try and reason with your ex.
The both of you will be alot better off in the end.
He has a responsibility in his child so just be sensible about it.

The both of you's will be screwed if you go through the incompotent cowboys at the dreaded Csa.

shell_542

I would use the CSA as the very last resort.
Could you send him a letter stating if he doesn't set up a standing order or direct debit into your account for regular child support at such and such an amount, then you will have no choice but to go to the CSA to claim these payments. Add that you are giving him the opportunity to keep it between the two of you and that if it goes to the CSA he will inevitably end up paying a lot more than you can agree on.

Give him a time scale to reply or sort it out by and if nothing, then you might as well try with the CSA. There is a chance they might get something off of him, but it might be a long drawn out process.

PlayingHardball

sammyw wrote: »

Is it worth going to the CSA?

My child is 15. Ex won't pay a reasonable amount - last CSA assessment said he had to pay £17 a week. He hasn't paid that ever - we agreed years back that he would pay a much smaller amount and then help out when needed with uniforms or clothes when necessary. However the extra help never really materialised and now he won't even pay the small amount! Is it worth the hassle of getting the CSA to pick up where they left off and get the payments for me? Will it take a long time? I phoned them a few months back to see if it was still on their system and it is and the man I spoke to said they could start collecting but it would be better if we could come to an agreement. I think those days are long gone! Any suggestions?

I would say it is most definately worth using the CSA to help you. What is holding you back, as:

A) He never gave the offered extra 'when necessary'
He's not paying even the amount previously agreed
C) You say the days of a private agreement are "long gone"

There are many different perspectives on these forums and they vary greatly from PWC (such as ourselves) to those who are NRP and those even who are NRPP's.

I would say it is worth the hassle, as caternork said, for the sake of your 15 year old. The money would be very helpful and is what you are due. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with taking action to enforce a NRP to pay to help support their own child, if NRP has been unreasonable in doing so with private arrangements. It is up to you if you feel you can be bothered.

There are others on this board who have gone down the route of involving the CSA for arrears and have succeeded. (and sent children to UNI) What is there to lose?

Good luck in your decision.

Blonde_Bint

I agree with Playinghardball. If you've got the stamina of a Grade A athlete:D and the mindset of Dr House lol. (some days you'll feel as though you just ran an 80 mile marathon with no breaks, the csa are that bad)

Kelloggs on here got diddly for years then the csa finally came up with the money. :j but it was a long drawn out affair, IT WONT be easy and IT WONT be quick. It will probably be very emotional. But if you dont give up I think you do get something.

If it was me I probably wouldnt want the hassle, 15 if he leaves school at 16 one years aggro, no. However, I do think people who are getting nothing if they can be bothered should do it. because nothing at all is not right.

I am an NRPP and have never been a PWC. If I had been PWC I may sing a different tune.

Good luck and let us know how you get on:)

Dancing_Shoes

I agree if you can face the battle then its worth pusuing. The private option has never worked out for you and its easy for him to say he will pay then not bother if it isn't enforced in some way. I would speak to him first and tell him that unless he sorts payment out now then you are going to the csa, that way it won't be a shock when he is contacted.

Hope you manage to get something, at least if you do it will be able to help with further education.:D

PlayingHardball

Blonde_Bint wrote: »

I agree with Playinghardball. If you've got the stamina of a Grade A athlete:D and the mindset of Dr House lol. (some days you'll feel as though you just ran an 80 mile marathon with no breaks, the csa are that bad)

BlondeBint - you have a great sense of humour and I always enjoy your posts. You sound like a really fun person and your comments are always very positive and helpful. Just wanted to say thanks. Grade A Athlete - that must be me! :j(starting star jumps as I hit the send button) lol

Blonde_Bint

lol :rotfl:

dont get me wrong, i've been right to the bottom of the barrell I have, when your sitting in your 'cr*ppy' situation (NRP, PWC, NRPP) whatever that may be, the end of the tunnel can seem a long way away.

there were times so bad my sunny disposition packed up and said 'i'm off to wait this one out in Australia' as it was on its way out the door, it took me so long to right myself.:D

In the end I gave up thinking our PWC would stop her treatment, accepted it and found a way to live round it. Its not an ideal situation but its working for now (one of my friends said she couldnt have coped she would have thumped her lol) I'm too passive for my own good, there are times I should have had more to say about what was happening to us but even if I was that way out it would only have made matters worse.