new, nervous and needing advice please!

marriedworriedmum

Hi There,

Firstly can i just say i've been reading the posts on here for weeks now and have been amazed at how much help and support is out there. I finally feel brave enought to post on here so here goes...

Things finally came to a head this week and i think thats given me the push to say, enough is enough. We have been burying our heads in the sand for too long, my husband looks broken, and its killing me to see him like this.
I cant say that we've lived a frivilous lifestyle, i wish! no we havent had fabulous holidays and shopping sprees but we have lived off our cards especially lately. When I had our darling little one my salary was less than half of what it was, then we moved from a tiny flat to house and we got furniture...things for the baby, thinking oh we'll buy it now and cut back next month, then something else came along....and we didnt and so on.
Its got to the point his month that i said right what have we left? and my husband cried. we have hardly any 'real' cash available... everythings pretty much maxed out now too.
I cant ask my mum im too ashamed, plus my dad died not so long ago, so she is under enough stress (and no he didnt leave any money bless him)
A good friend I confided in suggested payplan? is this a good idea?
I hope someone can advise? many thanks
soa below:

IN:
Salary me: £540 (limited hrs due to limited childcare)
salary husband £1,200
C/B £80
C/T/C £125

OUT:
rent £291 (it is low we rent off the council in a very small village so i know we are lucky in that respect)
council tax £129
water £54 (i think this is way too high?)
gas £55
elec £51
broadband/phone line/ sky £54 combined: it may seem high but we pay our line rental to BT and all our calls to sky (unlimited day and eve to landlines) we have a sky package (no sports or movies)and pay £15 broadband to BT as they are the cheapest supplier to the village!! we paid half when we lived in the city.
mobile £15
car ins £38
car tax and repairs £20 pm budgeted
petrol £70-80 hubby drives to and from work each day
house ins: £12
perscriptions £14
vet bills £10 ( a dog with a skin ailment )
food £160 - i try and cook everything from scratch, we have a farm shop close so i buy all our veggies etc from there. so this includes all toiletries and cleaning products too.
clothing: £20? i only buy for my daughter nowadays and ill be honest any clothes we've been buying (only if nesercary) have gone on the cards

shares £60- you may think WHAT!! but this may be our lifeline, the company my husband works for offers a sharesave scheme you pay in x ammount for x yrs and then when it finishes you get at LEAST what you paid in, or sell them at the share price. My mother-in-law has worked here for 20 yrs and has always done this and it paid for her daughters wedding, holidays etc so im hoping it'll be a good thing long term.

DEBTS:
l/tsb loan £179
l/tsb mastercard £35
halifax £170
m and s £200
m and s (me) £100
argos £50
Very catalouge £40
new look £10

CREDITORS:
l/tsb loan £5,383
l/tsb mastercard £1,500 maxed
m and s card £3,000 (me) maxed
halifax £9,000 maxed
m and s (hubby) £8,000
argos £1,000
very cat £650
new look £150..plus
overdraft halifax £400
l/tsb £500

Im ashamed when i write it down, i dont want to go bankrupt i want to find a way out somehow.
We dont do anything anymore, maybe a glass of wine sometimes in the eve and a dvd thats all. I really want to get us somewhere on the straight and narrow before our little one starts school and starts picking up on things.
many thanks for reading x

Moneytroubles_2

Hiya!

Well done for joining and posting your info - Do not feel ashamed at all, everyone on this site is the same boat!

I only joined a couple of days ago and already feel positive about my situation, what I have found helpful is joining in on challenges as its giving me the motivation that I need.

I am also in the closet about my debts so i have just started a diary online where i can put my thoughts down!

Im not very good at SOA as I don't really know how to read them! but is there anything you currently have that you could live without for example Sky?

Other ways to boost your income and sorry if some of these seem obvious but...

1. Ebay
2. Car boots
3. Online Surveys
4. Pary Planning

Hope I have been some use to you!

Moneytroubles X

millionaire_in_training

marriedworriedmum wrote: »

Hi There,


Salary me: £540 (limited hrs due to limited childcare)
salary husband £1,200
C/B £80
C/T/C £125

OUT:
rent £291 (it is low we rent off the council in a very small village so i know we are lucky in that respect)
council tax £129
water £54 (i think this is way too high?) I agree try and cut this down
gas £55 Again quite highsee if you can change suppliers
elec £51As above
broadband/phone line/ sky £54 combined: it may seem high but we pay our line rental to BT and all our calls to sky (unlimited day and eve to landlines) we have a sky package (no sports or movies)and pay £15 broadband to BT as they are the cheapest supplier to the village!! we paid half when we lived in the city.
mobile £15
car ins £38 shop about. use cash back sites for cheaper
car tax and repairs £20 pm budgeted
petrol £70-80 hubby drives to and from work each day
house ins: £12
perscriptions £14 can you get a quarterly ticket
vet bills £10 ( a dog with a skin ailment )
food £160 - i try and cook everything from scratch, we have a farm shop close so i buy all our veggies etc from there. so this includes all toiletries and cleaning products too.
clothing: £20? i only buy for my daughter nowadays and ill be honest any clothes we've been buying (only if nesercary) have gone on the cards

shares £60- you may think WHAT!! but this may be our lifeline, the company my husband works for offers a sharesave scheme you pay in x ammount for x yrs and then when it finishes you get at LEAST what you paid in, or sell them at the share price. My mother-in-law has worked here for 20 yrs and has always done this and it paid for her daughters wedding, holidays etc so im hoping it'll be a good thing long term. Sorry but this has got to go in the short term Can be picked up later on

DEBTS:
l/tsb loan £179
l/tsb mastercard £35
halifax £170
m and s £200
m and s (me) £100
argos £50
Very catalouge £40
new look £10

CREDITORS:
l/tsb loan £5,383
l/tsb mastercard £1,500 maxed
m and s card £3,000 (me) maxed
halifax £9,000 maxed
m and s (hubby) £8,000
argos £1,000
very cat £650
new look £150..plus
overdraft halifax £400
l/tsb £500 x

I have put a few suggestions above. I did a quick count of your incoming and outgoing monies and you are just in the green. This is a good position to be in as many people on here just do not have enough money to pay everyone. If you suspend the shares and do without the luxuries you should manage to stay afloat. Go to whats the cost.co.uk and input all your details of debts etc into that and you will get a much better idea of how long it will all take to pay off and how you can get rid of them quicker. Take on board all the advice you get from people on here and then make an informed decision on your next move. SHuffle your bill suppliers for better deals and always use a cash back site fro shopping. Good luck to you

searching_me

as MIT said you gas and elc are really high i live in a 2 bed flat and have 2 kids and only go through £40 for both maybe £50 in winter ... sky you're being a little ripped i have the same package sky tv (no sports or movies) internet and phone (unlimited evening weekends) and i pay £28 max so ring them and find out how to change it or get cut off and get your partner to ring and re install as a new customer to get a cheaper deal ... i agree get rid of the shares just for alittle bit at the mo you really need the cash ... i worked out you're left with £98 left over each month maybe start a spend dairy see where its going ... also CUT UP THE CARDS they are kiling you get rid and no more spending on them and get them stopped so you cant use them in anyway shape or form ...

t make extra cash do surveys, sell things on ebay basically sell anything you do not need or want and get some of that money back .. check out the up your income board ...... ermmmmm thats all i can think of ... hope i help chick x

Fire_Fox

Your first post brought a tear to my eye, marriedworriedmum!!

Just popped on to welcome you, and to tell your husband to try not to worry as this place is AMAZING and we can definitely get you sorted out. Payplan or CCCS are free debt charities and will help you organise a Debt Management Plan. They will speak to all your creditors and organise that the interest is frozen and you only pay what you can afford. :T

marriedworriedmum

awww thank you to everyone! how surprising to come on this morning and see so many replies
In terms of the shares as I said sorry we are 'tied' in (for another 2 years) there is literally nothing we can do, but the money when its paid out even if it is just 'reclaiming' the £60pm back will be an amzing way to really cut into our debts. Which is a lucky position to be in but wont really be of any help for the next 2 yrs....

I knew we were paying way too much for water , its only me and my hubby and little one and shes the only one who has baths! we have showers manily, of course with a family washing machineis always on but we are certainly not wasteful with it. They are my first course of action today!
I did an online survey last night to see if we could get gas and elec cheaper and we can bring it down -only a bit though? but every little helps i guess. I knew it'd be more as we've moved to a house but we're paying £'s more than when we lived in the city but am amazed the dd's are so high...so defo going to start being more careful
Sky yep agree we're being ripped, we pay basic landline to bt and our broadband has to be with bt as they are they only provider to the area we live in (or anyone else providing broadband has to pay bt to use to exchange or something) but will try and phone up as a new customer good idea!

M.I.T Yes we are left witha 'little' real cash each month, and yes maybe that is a lucky position to be in as we're paying our bills...just. But really feel we need to take action before this spirals out of control. which Is why i asked for a little help so thankyou for your reply. In terms of luxuries did you mean the sky?as yes totally agree that can and will be cut back. In terms of the shares though no, we're tied in im afraid.
fire fox..thankyou xxx

dancingfairy

Hi. Does your husband need a car to get to work? can he walk or cycle or car share or train or bus or anything?
Nothing seems too bad on your SOA - yes you can shave a little here and a little there which has got to be of some help.
Maybe try a spending diary? it does sound as if you have most things covered but maybe there are a few incidentals there? birthday presents? trips to see family? the odd magazine?
With regards to the food - is there anywhere cheaper? I don't know if you can combine maybe doing a big shop in lidl/aldi/tesco/sainsburys for tins and what not and then top it up with fresh fruit and veg and milk from locally? I don't know if that would help? I am assuming that you may be paying a little more for food being in a village? Meal planning and cooking in bulk and freezing some is the way to go though which sounds like you are already there with that one.
I also would check out the UP your Income board and do surveys/mystery shopping/car boots/ebay etc as every little helps.
Are you getting all the benefits you are entitled to?
And yes Payplan or CCCS or your local CAB or National Debtline should be able to go through your options with you.
Are you able to take on more hours when little one goes to nursery/school?
df

millionaire_in_training

hi there. Hope you have had a fruitful day. I think I might have come across as a bit abrupt but it was late lol and it wasn't intended that way. Good luck

marriedworriedmum

M.I.T you didnt come across abrupt dont worry. It was a bit a wake up call though, your right at least we are making our payments etc and some people arent in that postion. Just dont want it to get worse now.
Yes had a fruitful day! got a lower deal with my water, and sky have reduced it by £2...whooppee so am going to cancel and get it in my name as a new customer! thanks to all will keep you updated
Dancing fairy yes afraid hubby does need the car, he works shifts you see and the buses here finish at 6.
We tend to do one 'big' shop in tesco/asda and then fresh fruit & veg in the farm shop but will defo shop around a bit more, your right the local co-op is dearer and we tend to use it if we need a emergancy 'top up' shop.
Feel like a big weight has been lifted today just saying 'this is enough' cards got cut up today....what a moment!

Moneytroubles_2

Hey marriedwomanmum

Im glad that you are feeling better already, well done on sorting the water and and sky and a BIG well done for cutting your cards up!

xxx

bank_of_slate

Hi MWM,
welcome to the forum!

Look at the up your income board for ideas to bring in extra.

Many of us do paid surveys, I do them for Valued Opinions, Lightspeed panel, Onepoll and Toluna.
I've had over £100 vouchers from them in past year :T
...Linda xx