Bankruptcy v IVA

MicheH

My husband and I went BR on Monday. We're very open and honest about it, even to my in laws but it seems to have had the effect where people feel it's open season to comment on the decision we made or rather were forced into.

My Mother In Law is a gossip through and through but I never thought she would gossip about her own kids. It seems that her daughter has set up an IVA to help her with debt. Now I'm clueless to IVA's so was rather embarrasssed when she asked me why we didn't go down that route and I said I don't know.

She then scolded me for not looking at all the avenues before going down the easy route of BR, maybe rightly so, I had lots of advice from national debtline so all I can think of is my circumstances wouldn't have made an IVA an option.

I don't know how much debt her daughter is in but my mother in law is favouring her decision because she gets to keep her house, isn't advertised in the local paper, doesnt have it recorded on her 'file' and it's much easier to get mortgages and get good rates when it's done. She said she only has to pay for 5 years then the rest is wiped off. She said that it is better than having the stigma of the bankruptcy and she's really disappointed that we didn't do this. She said at least she's trying to pay some of debt back and not just running away from it. I'm so pleased it was a phone call and i'm trying not to let her bother me but it's all so raw just now.

I'm upset, I'm confused but overall i'm really annoyed, mostly because I didn't have the facts to fight my corner, I know in my heart of hearts that we have made the right decision to bankrupt but what I can't stand is other people giving me their opinions. I'm so hoping someone will tell me she's misinformed.

At the minute I just want to run away with my little family, study like mad to get the grades to go to university, qualify as a midwife and stick fingers up at the lot of them in 6 years time!

I'm taking responsibilty for my finacial actions and decisions but i'm wanting to scream out "where was my education!! When was I ever told at 18 not to get a loan for a new car! Don't get a credit card, Don't do what i've done and think easy come easy go!" DH was brought up the same, just get it and pay for it later. I want to scream to both sets of parents its your fault!!!!

But I can't, i'm now an adult with a family and common sense. I borrowed the money, i'm dealing with the consequences and I don't need or want your opinion!

Another day and another rant.. Thank you MSE!

Feelingfoolish_3

MicheH wrote: »

I don't know how much debt her daughter is in but my mother in law is favouring her decision because she gets to keep her house, Yes she might get to keep her house but she will most likely have to remortgage in year 4 to release more money into the IVA isn't advertised in the local paper, neither is bankruptcy anymore doesnt have it recorded on her 'file' will be on her credit file for 6 years AND it is on the IS register and it's much easier to get mortgages and get good rates when it's done. Nope! Yes an IVA is one step down from Bankruptcy but she is still classed as insolvent AND if it fails she could be made bankrupt. She said she only has to pay for 5 years then the rest is wiped off. True She said that it is better than having the stigma of the bankruptcy and she's really disappointed that we didn't do this.She is the one that has the stigma not you She said at least she's trying to pay some of debt back and not just running away from it. Going bankrupt is not running away but making a concious decision to a fresh start I'm so pleased it was a phone call and i'm trying not to let her bother me but it's all so raw just now.

Big hugs to you and just blow a raspberry to her (not to her face!) She might have some facts about IVAs but obviously not all. Nat Debtline would have suggested this to you if they thought it was viable, you would have needed to have a hefty surplus to be able to do an IVA.

Stay strong x :beer:

lee316

Hi MicheH,
big hugs to you hun, I know exactly how you feel re family. We haven't even applied for BR yet (lack of funds), but made a mistake of discussing it with family, and yep you can imagine what we get, phone calls every day with thoughts for the day. And they are in just as much doo doo as we are, only we faced up to it and they are in denial. It doesn't bother me any more.
My moto is, they don't raise my children or pay my bills, so why do I need to worry about what they think?
As for IVA, we looked into it, but CAB advised us to look into BR instead. Before that we never even gave it a thought.
So keep your head up high, you have got nothing to be ashamed of, you faced up to your problems and dealt with them.
Everything else is just water off the duck's back.

SouthCoast

Feelingfoolish wrote: »

Big hugs to you and just blow a raspberry to her (not to her face!) She might have some facts about IVAs but obviously not all. Nat Debtline would have suggested this to you if they thought it was viable, you would have needed to have a hefty surplus to be able to do an IVA.

Stay strong x :beer:

Agreed......................

the-muffin-man

I looked into an IVA, and unless you're debts are modest or you have a good deal of spare income, they just looked like money making exercise for the people who set them up (and the bloke at the CAB pretty much said as much).

BR certainly isn't the 'easy' way out!!

peachyprice

doesnt have it recorded on her 'file' and it's much easier to get mortgages and get good rates when it's done.

Oh deary me, if your SIL has been lead to believe that, she's seriously deluded.

An IVA damages your credit file just as bad as BR, and also you might like to point out that within 3 months of being discharged you'll disappear from the Insolvency Register, which is there for all to search and find you, whereas your SIL will be recoreded there, for all to see, for the entire duration of her IVA.

YamahaR6

I was well on my way down the IVA route before I decided bankruptcy was the better option. Even though CCCS had already recommended bankruptcy I refused to accept that and had several forms/packs etc sent out by various IVA companies, filled them out, had everything ready to go, all they needed was my scribble on a piece of paper to start the ball rolling.

Then I started reading about how much people struggled with IVAs and how totally inflexible they seem to be when circumstances change. If you earnt more money, they'd have no problems altering the account to take it off you, if your pay decreased it seems most people were unable to get any adjustments made and were forced to struggle further! I was expected (with my level of debt) to pay back £300 a month for 5 years (and the monthly living allowances seem MUCH tighter than with BR), with BR I imagine I'll end up with an IPA of around £80 a month for 3 years. I can guess which most would prefer!

You did what was best for you and your family. What other people think is no concern. Let them get on with it, their lives obviously aren't that interesting so they feel the need to interfere with yours.

So_Sad_Angel

Hi MH

Rant away Honey...that in some ways is part of the recovery.

Remember that it is very normal to dwell on stuff when doubt rears it ugly head & that is not helped by others who like to always add their tenpenneth when it is not called for....ultimately they don`t know how bad it was for you.

You took professional advice & took the decision that was the right decision for you....& as you say in your heart & mind still feels right even through this doubt.

Many many IVAs fail...as said before they may seem an easier route for now but 4 years down the line & a massive remortgage it may feel like they hav`nt really got anywhere.

Your life is beginning again now...so accept those critics ..just smile...& remember if that IVA fails you will be a shoulder when needed.

I was told to look at IVAs...clearly would have failed miserably for me but would have got the Company concerned a nice fat paycheque.

Just my thoughts.....stay strong, hold your head up.

Angiexx

Charco_2

You certainly didn't take the easy way out, your M-in-L seems like a bad case of "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing!" Perhaps if she were a little bit better informed then she would not be casting aspersions... a bit like throwing stones living in a glass house! Both solutions have pros and cons and neither are a one size fits all solution - you were given (limited) options and had to make the decision that best suited you. Anyway It's not about how you get OUT of debt, surely the only issue is that you ran up such serious amounts in the first place (and I'm not judging that! But for a bit o luck we could all be up to our necks in debt!)

I'll not join the others on here who knock IVAs and the companies who provide them,
1. I believe in IVAs and think they are a great solution in the right circumstances
2. I dont see anything wrong with a company making money - does anyone knock McDonalds for making money? (Not really, you knock McDonalds for dishing out terrible food!) It's not like all IP firms are rolling in dosh!

I would also agree with you to some extent about the "turning 18 and not having a clue about money" argument and "why did nobody tell us?" I think Personal Finances is a subject that should be taught properly and compulsorily in schools. It's up to parents then just to tie up the loose ends with their kids by giving them a value for money and saving. Your M-in-L now has two children who are coping with insolvency (in two different ways) however, I think its' ridiculous that she would dare say you've taken an easy way out (how can she praise one sibling over the other?)... does your S-in-L now have the problem facing her of looking for a new home, in rented accommodation, being turned down by even her own family for a little bit of support?

As I said, the important thing is not about how you get out of debt. The important thing is that you both (or all three) have taken the first and most difficult step to get out of debt.

Good luck x
(I hope i did not sound harsh during this incoherent rambling, it would not be my intention to hurt or upset anyone)

MicheH

I dont feel like you're judging me, after all I'm judging myself anyway. I'm a proud, honest and hard working girl, I'm raising 2 lovely, well behaved girls and i'm hardly uneducated. I can't fathom why it's so bad, how I could let this happen and i'm beating my own self up about it. It has happened so now i'm trying to switch my focus.

Charco wrote: »

I would also agree with you to some extent about the "turning 18 and not having a clue about money" argument and "why did nobody tell us?" I think Personal Finances is a subject that should be taught properly and compulsorily in schools. It's up to parents then just to tie up the loose ends with their kids by giving them a value for money and saving.

It is too easy for me to sit here after all of this and say "its not my fault, I didn't know" because it's obvious, you borrow, you pay pack. Of course I knew but what i'm realising that such a large amount of money to borrow for a car when I was 18 and only working 2 days a week back then was a ridiculus thing to do. Of course I could pay for it then, I could pay my credit cards and store cards, I was young, free and having a good time. Damn right! BUT I then got married, bought a house and had two children, the course of life of many. There's no way I could carry on paying that loan (that was over 8 years) as well as all the other out goings and that's when more and more borrowing began.

I think what i'm saying is 'people' (and i'm not very good with the financial world) should be careful when lending to very young people. I believe I set myself up for a fall and never recovered as my life changed course. That's why I'm angry with banks and parents etc. It's not that i'm shirking my responsibility for where I am now but I think I need to address that it's not just my own fault, I didn't have the parental input at a young age to warn me of what could happen. Would I have listened? I don't know but maybe that's where lenders need to have some responsibility for allowing 18 year olds to borrow so much.

It's doing me good all this but I hope i'm not boring you wearing my heart on me sleeve!

money_penny_26

hi there not to be nasty...think about getting m.i.l something nice for xmas whilst pointing out that s.i.l maybe could not afford her something as nice as she is on an i.v.a. an still deep in the mire of debt.whilst you on the other hand have got your finances under control now,an thought she desevved something a bit special. beleive me you will feel better as i will this year,instead of giving my lovely mum bed socks as last year. penny