meeting for the first time with the vicar what questions should i ask?

fly_dragon_fly

hello

i really dont know what to ask her please help!

thanks x

kettlefish

We had a little list of bits and bobs to ask. First of all we went on www.yourchurchwedding.org which has a little ceremony planner which you can print out, and gave us lots of ideas.

We decided on which songs we wanted to enter/leave the church, which we're having the traditional Bridal March by Wagner and Wedding March by Mendelsohn, but did discuss other options. We asked about timings of the day, and he showed us an order of service from antoehr couple, which obviously gave us the order of the day! Our vicar chooses his reading himself, but every one is different, so it might be worth asking if you can have a say in that!

Regarding flowers, lots of churches are grade I or II listed buildings, so may not allow things to be fixed to the wall, tied only. Ask if there is a lady who does flowers, or a flower circle, which will probably work out cheaper. Our church decor is coming in at £50!

When choosing your hymns, ask if they have a church copyright licence, otherwise you might need to pay £10 or so to reproduce the lyrics in your order of service.

See if they will allow people to take photos in the building - our vicar is allowing everyone to take photos before and after the ceremony, but giving the official photographer a position to stay in during the service itself, when only he will be allowed to take photos!

Ask when your Banns will be read as you will probably want to go along and listen to that. See whether they have rules on confetti - our church is paper or natural confetti only, no rice (kills pigeons as it swells in their tummy apparently) or plastic/foil confetti...

If your church has bells see whether they can be used for a fee. Ask how much the wedding will cost and how the vicar would like the money. The vicar will probably organise a rehearsal for a week or so before, especially if you are having BMs etc.

Hope this helps, sorry for the essay! Good luck :j xxx

Yellowbug

depending on your religion and the religion of the church you have chosen you may need to ask if there is anything special you need to do

we have picked a church of england church (my religion) but my oh is catholic, so we had to make sure to tell them that incase we needed to do anything extra......our vicar just said as long as my oh is happy for her to do the service then she is happy to do it
I have heard it can be harder if you are c of e and want to get married in a catholic church...but not really looked into it so you would need to ask

erm......as above really, ask about the service, do they have an organist, where can you put flowers, confetti (it seems most places now like you to use flower petals to be on the safe side )

Id also recomend trying to have a nice chat with them, they will be involved in the happiest day of your life so you need to feel comfortable with them

As for booking the church, you may find this is done through a parish office....they deal with taking the money and booking everything, but your vicar will be able to give you all the info you need

hth

fly_dragon_fly

hello

thank you for all the replies the meeting with the vicar went really well she is lovely ! x

Rosie75

Can I ask if your vicar needed to see any identification / official documents? We had a meeting with our vicar ages ago and filled it a form, but I've only just realised he never asked to see passports or other ID, or a copy of my OH's decree absolute. I'm starting to worry that the paperwork isn't in order.