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Still having an identity crisis - starting to doubt I am myself any more...
FinancesOfAFiveYearOld
Posts: 70 Forumite
It just occurred to me as I bundled up the latest little "please steal my ID, I dare you - you'll love it" packages of driving licence/passport/JSA letter/photo of me and an approved & licenced dentist hugging in front of a copy of today's Financial Times that I'm about, once again, to send off every name, number, address and reference anyone else would need to be me, through Her Majesty's post, wrapped in a protective sheet of paper. Protected only by the magic anti-theft stamp which nullifies the interesting and well known addresses I'm posting them all to. Moreover, I'm sending them to companies who facilitate the nicking of identities and the confusion of others, for money, as a "business"!
I have, having lost my marbles, sent this instead* to all of them in response to their requests for every item of documentation about me from birthing certificate to blood donor card:
Dear Experian/Equifax/CallCredit/ACME Records Co., et al,
thank you for your request that I provide original documentation and further proof of my identity in order for you to release to me information you have been collecting about me since long before we were formally introduced.
Due to my strict data and identity protection principles I require evidence that confirms your right to collect this information in the first place and evidence that confirms your corporate identity and address. The Data Protection Act requires that I safeguard all data I hold about myself and you will agree that it would be irresponsible of me to release it without confirming your identity and right to that information.
To enable me to send you all of my documentation you will need to forward three forms of identification, two from your current business address and one from any previous address since you were age six. All must be originals unless otherwise stated.
Managing Director's unexpired full photo-card driving licence and counterpart.**
Current Council Tax demand for your official registered business address.
Bank Account statement for your company.
Company Business Card statement relating to any of the Company Directors or the Company Secretary.
Mortgage statement relating to any company buildings.
Firearms Certificate or Shotgun Licence from any member of staff who lives in the company offices.
** denotes photocopies acceptable.
Original documents, if they're not nicked in the post on the way to me, will be returned with my documentation to fulfill your earlier request. You can then send me the documentation you hold on me.
All statements should be no more than three months old unless they relate to a previous company address or are bank or credit card statements showing evidence of the financial, sexual or social impropriety of the Managing Director and/or his secretary or any member of the typing pool or call-centre.
Since this is the self-same private documentation you are demanding from me I am certain that you will have no privacy issues in supplying the equivalent relating to your Directors and Company Officials.
I look forward to hearing from you in due course, but there's no urgency whatsoever, we can toss this back and forth as long as you like while my life's on hold.
Yours truly,
FinancesOfAFiveearOld.
Wonder what my response rate will be?
* not really.
Gee-suss, wouldn't it be nice though?
I have, having lost my marbles, sent this instead* to all of them in response to their requests for every item of documentation about me from birthing certificate to blood donor card:
Dear Experian/Equifax/CallCredit/ACME Records Co., et al,
thank you for your request that I provide original documentation and further proof of my identity in order for you to release to me information you have been collecting about me since long before we were formally introduced.
Due to my strict data and identity protection principles I require evidence that confirms your right to collect this information in the first place and evidence that confirms your corporate identity and address. The Data Protection Act requires that I safeguard all data I hold about myself and you will agree that it would be irresponsible of me to release it without confirming your identity and right to that information.
To enable me to send you all of my documentation you will need to forward three forms of identification, two from your current business address and one from any previous address since you were age six. All must be originals unless otherwise stated.
Managing Director's unexpired full photo-card driving licence and counterpart.**
Current Council Tax demand for your official registered business address.
Bank Account statement for your company.
Company Business Card statement relating to any of the Company Directors or the Company Secretary.
Mortgage statement relating to any company buildings.
Firearms Certificate or Shotgun Licence from any member of staff who lives in the company offices.
** denotes photocopies acceptable.
Original documents, if they're not nicked in the post on the way to me, will be returned with my documentation to fulfill your earlier request. You can then send me the documentation you hold on me.
All statements should be no more than three months old unless they relate to a previous company address or are bank or credit card statements showing evidence of the financial, sexual or social impropriety of the Managing Director and/or his secretary or any member of the typing pool or call-centre.
Since this is the self-same private documentation you are demanding from me I am certain that you will have no privacy issues in supplying the equivalent relating to your Directors and Company Officials.
I look forward to hearing from you in due course, but there's no urgency whatsoever, we can toss this back and forth as long as you like while my life's on hold.
Yours truly,
FinancesOfAFiveearOld.
Wonder what my response rate will be?
* not really.
Gee-suss, wouldn't it be nice though?
At the end of every rainbow is a smug meteorologist with a large prism.
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Comments
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Thats genius!
Let us know if you get a response!
I do get fed up of people insisting on asking for personal information from me before they'll disclose what they want on the telephone.Look down your nose at me and I thumb my nose back at you.
Bankrupt: 8th July 2009
Early Discharge: 19th Jan 2010
Proud BSC Member: 2780 -
OMG FOAFYO - you are wicked - a wicked genius!!
I'd so love to read any responses you get.
Do we need to fulfil any copyright documentation should we ever feel the need to use this delicate piece of literature?
Miss PDon't try to keep up with the Joneses - Drag them down to your level - it's cheaper .
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I often (or used to) ask to take the person on the phone through security. They really don't have a reply - they just stumble as it isn't on the piece of paper in front of them.
:j :j
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That's class.
When I moved into my new property I kept getting automated calls for the previous tennant. Unbelievably I have never been with BT & when I do I get the number of the previous tennant.
I called them back - at my expense as there was no press this to be conencted - and told them that she no longer lived here. They wanted proof of my tenancy, HB or CTB or council tax letter & utility bill ALL originals. I told them to naff off as I have no dealings with tem and I do not need to send all this to prove she doesn't live here.
The said they would send someone round to confirm id, I said I'm not waiting for them. But I never heard anything since.
It's a joke what these people ask for.BSC 289A life lived in fear is a life not living!Proud to have dealt with my debts.0 -
We got our previous houseowners telephone number - they were both deceased! I'd like to see someone try to find them!
:j :j
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fiveyearplan wrote: »We got our previous houseowners telephone number - they were both deceased! I'd like to see someone try to find them!
They're in the burning cell next to mine, Third Floor, South Wing, B-Block (Roastings and Hot Pokers), Hell & Damnation.
Can I get a message to them for you?At the end of every rainbow is a smug meteorologist with a large prism.0 -
You so make me laugh :T Don't try to keep up with the Joneses - Drag them down to your level - it's cheaper .0
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FinancesOfAFiveYearOld wrote: »They're in the burning cell next to mine, Third Floor, South Wing, B-Block (Roastings and Hot Pokers), Hell & Damnation.
Can I get a message to them for you?
Yes, thanks FOAFYO - can you please ask him how and why an 80 ish year old man would climb up to the loft to hide his empty whisky bottles? Also, did he hide anything else of value up there - it gives me the creeps to go into the loft so I haven't checked as thoroughly as I should!
:j :j
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