Dreaming of a Better Life

Fire_Fox

Stopping smoking, when you are ready, shouldn't be hell at all. Have you tried before, what support have you been offered by the NHS? There is one-to-one and group support, nicotine replacement (often free if you attend support sessions!), tablets that stop the urge/ enjoyment completely. Combination therapy will double your chances of quitting successfully!

I am a qualified stop smoking advisor so I know the NHS does not recommend reduce-to-quit quite simply because it does not work. Your body has a set-point of nicotine in the system and you will suffer withdrawal symptoms if you try to lower this. Studies have shown that those who cut back simply become more addicted to the cigarettes that remain, making it harder to stop long term.

Sorry if that sounds like a lecture - I absolutely agree that you should take one step at a time. I have known many clients who are so addicted that they get up in the night to smoke (!) give up very easily when they have the right support and medication. With 'dieting' I find the best solution is not to focus on giving stuff up but to increase your range of foods! So tell yourself you are going to have five portions of fruit and veg every day - starting at breakfast - then work your way up slowly to nine portions a day. You should feel much better for it, and have far less room in your life for unhealthy snacks.

Tim_Nicholas

Good luck...

There is a diet used for heart patients who are overweight. Its a 2 stone 14 day crash diet. I know a couple of people who have stuck to it, and it certainly works, need to have a focused 2 weeks mind.. as you have to eat certain things on certain days...

DreamerHelen

Thanks Guys for the encouragement, I've been sooooo busy that I haven't had time to do anything!!

I'm still trying to work my mind through my breakup but it's slowly getting better and I have some Goals for the next year or so to work on :j

I'm still on track to pay off my lowest Debt this Month (I Hope!!) so I'm looking forward to phoning them up and paying it off!! :T

I'll try to keep up with this Diary a bit more often!! :rolleyes:

savingholmes

HI Helen

Just popping along to wish you luck on your journey - to debt freedom, life without cigarettes and a new slimmer you!

I too am trying to lose weight as well as lose the debt.... I focused on the debt first tho and then added weight loss goal.

DreamerHelen

Okay....I'm coming back to you guys and absolutely and thoroughly ashamed of myself - I just keep on messing up and messing up over and over again

I've not accrued anymore Debt, however I was unable to Pay my Debts in August and now I cannot pay them in September. It's not that I haven't been working - Because I have - But my Rent, Bills and Priority Debts have to come first.

But, and here's where I am really really ashamed of myself and I hope that you Guys don't really slate me for this one - I lied to my Creditors...I thought that I could buy some more time, so I told them that my Bank had been shut down because of a Fraudulent Investigation when I was travelling and so I needed more time to pay. They have all given me until this coming Tuesday (8th September) to pay, some have insisted on a Double Payment and right now I don't have it, any of it. I feel so ashamed of myself - I HATE lying to people and there are no justifications...I will completely understand if nobody here wants anything to do with me again

I tried contacting CCCS, they couldn't get me an Appointment until the beginning of October because I am Self-Employed. Should I try calling PayPlan and see what they can offer me? CCCS were very nice but when I asked them how to deal with my Creditors until I could get a DMP in place they couldn't answer me - They just said "Do what you can".

I'm way in over my head and I know it - And I'm so ashamed of myself for getting back into this Position!!! :mad:

The reason that I haven't earned enough is for several reasons (and again, I'm ashamed of some of these):

1) I got sick and so, with no holiday/sick pay, I simply couldn't work.
2) I started catching expensive Cabs again
3) I keep buying silly amounts of Takeaways.
4) Work has been very slow - So even when I AM working, no customers.

I know that there are only so many chances that people are going to give me to sort myself out (you guys included) - But I just keep on messing up over and over again.

What makes it more complicated is that I never know from one month to the next how much I'm going to earn. Some of the work I do is cash in hand but I want to declare it to the Tax People anyway, at least I can be honest about what I earn.

There are several things that MUST be paid for by the end of this Year:

1) I'm starting a Course to better my Career in January, this has to be paid for by beginning of November and is £1750, I am already committed to this as I have paid the Deposit.

2) My Tax Bill - I think it will come to about £2500.

3) A Repayment of £2500 to a Friend that desperately needs the money back, I have promised it back to him by the end of this Year.

4) Christmas - Even done on the Cheap it's still going to be at least £250 (I have a large Family).

I simply don't know what to do and I'm hoping that I haven't completely turned you all away from me

The other stupid thing that I did was to deal with all of my Creditors by Phone, so I have no real records of what has been said (except that I know what story I gave out).

What do I do next? Should I contact PayPlan and hope they can give me a better or earlier Date? What should I do about the Payments for my Debts that should be made on Tuesday? How do I ever sort it out when I dread answering my Phone and opening my Post? How do I ever look myself in the eyes again?

Please help me...

DreamerHelen

I Posted This In My Thread In DFW Main Forum - Just Thought I Would Copy and Paste so you know what is going on. I have also changed the Title of my Thread to something that will Inspire me (and hopefully others ):

Thank you so much for all of your help over the past 24 hours....It has pretty much been hell today...but I think I'm through the worst of it.

I basically pulled my head out of my !!!!....and I sat down and wrote down everything that needs to be Paid on a Monthly Basis and also what hasn't been paid this Month and also the things that need to be paid by the end of the Year.

Then I sat down and worked out a Schedule for this Week....then I sorted out some cash-in-hand work for today and I've earned enough today to pay almost half my Debts which should be paid tomorrow (well, technically today). The rest I should have earned by the end of Tomorrow as I have sorted out some more Cash-in-hand work for tomorrow....

I've also been working like absolute crazy today - In both Jobs. It's now 2am and I've been awake since about 7.30am and I'm still working...

It's about pulling my head out of my !!!! and realising that if I want to do all the wonderful things that I want to do both this Year AND next Year that I need to get my !!!! in gear and work bloody hard until I've achieved what I set out to do.

Thank you everyone for not hating me - I plan to work a month ahead of myself, so by the end of September I will have all the money I need for October....by the end of October I'll have what I need for November - And so on.

The extra things can be peppered in when I get extra work. And I've also got a Plan to pay off my Three smallest Debts, so that will free up Extra Money. I also want to try and save for a Pension Fund, I know I'm only young but I'll probably be self-employed for a good few years and by the time I get to Retiremant age there probably won't be a State Pension left!!

Anyway...thank you everyone....I think the emergency may have passed (fingers crossed) but thank you ALL for being there when I needed you in my darkest hour...

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

DreamerHelen wrote: »

I Posted This In My Thread In DFW Main Forum - Just Thought I Would Copy and Paste so you know what is going on. I have also changed the Title of my Thread to something that will Inspire me (and hopefully others ):

Thank you so much for all of your help over the past 24 hours....It has pretty much been hell today...but I think I'm through the worst of it.

I basically pulled my head out of my !!!!....and I sat down and wrote down everything that needs to be Paid on a Monthly Basis and also what hasn't been paid this Month and also the things that need to be paid by the end of the Year.

Then I sat down and worked out a Schedule for this Week....then I sorted out some cash-in-hand work for today and I've earned enough today to pay almost half my Debts which should be paid tomorrow (well, technically today). The rest I should have earned by the end of Tomorrow as I have sorted out some more Cash-in-hand work for tomorrow....

I've also been working like absolute crazy today - In both Jobs. It's now 2am and I've been awake since about 7.30am and I'm still working...

It's about pulling my head out of my !!!! and realising that if I want to do all the wonderful things that I want to do both this Year AND next Year that I need to get my !!!! in gear and work bloody hard until I've achieved what I set out to do.

Thank you everyone for not hating me - I plan to work a month ahead of myself, so by the end of September I will have all the money I need for October....by the end of October I'll have what I need for November - And so on.

The extra things can be peppered in when I get extra work. And I've also got a Plan to pay off my Three smallest Debts, so that will free up Extra Money. I also want to try and save for a Pension Fund, I know I'm only young but I'll probably be self-employed for a good few years and by the time I get to Retiremant age there probably won't be a State Pension left!!

Anyway...thank you everyone....I think the emergency may have passed (fingers crossed) but thank you ALL for being there when I needed you in my darkest hour...

Hi Dreamer Helen

Just come accross your diary and your attitude is right up my street in that I too am s/e, in theory my income is limitless in as much as how much I put in I wil get out, its just how much that physically can be done in each 24 hours w/o burning out, the ongoing challenge of getting the balance right between working, keeping the home, looking after my dd. I can relate to you, I too have been up early, bed late getting work done reminding myself of the goal to be achieved which inspires me to stay self disciplined and focused and keep going till its done. Good luck with your business, and paying off your debts. Your unsecured debt is similar to mine in total. Well done so far!

DreamerHelen

Hi There Guys, I thought I should update on what has been happening with me and my spending.

I'm afraid I fell off the Wagon again, in a major way, started to spend stupid amounts again, cabs and stupid takeaways that I don't need and don't even enjoy!! I'm so mad at myself!!! :mad::mad::mad:

But, there IS some good news:

I STOPPED SMOKING!!!! I went from between 30 and 40 a day down to NOTHING - I'm not even using anything to help me with it although I AM going to see the "Smoking Cessation Clinic" for advice and support. I have even found that the smell of smoke now makes me absolutely heave, which is a good thing because it means I won't go back to smoking.

So, that is saving me almost £200 per month. I contacted the College that I'm going to be Studying with in January and they agreed to let me pay per month so I'm using £150 of the Cigarette money on the Course to help me further my Career because that means that I will earn more money in the long-run.

I got myself in a bit of a pickle with my Debts but I have £300 to pay for December's Payments - And I will simply tell my Debtors that they can either accept the Payments I can afford or take me to Court in which case the Judge will look and see that I can't afford anymore and that will be that...

I stupidly got a Credit Card, although thank god they only gave me £100 Credit Limit. But I'm maxed out already and havent paid anything off it in months, so I need to sort that one out.

I managed to get a little bit of extra work, which is great....so I'm earning a little extra although my main Job is actually fairly limitless for earnings...but I HAVE to stop being lazy or when I'm down and depressed I MUST just get on with it.

I have a few Friends that are really supportive and that's great...so perhaps it would be good to actually use them to support me (emotionally speaking) as opposed to doing the whole "I'm fine, I'm fine" thing, when clearly I'm not.

Anyway...some good things, some bad...but I'm on my way to a good start for the New Year.

GeorgeUK

Well done on stopping smoking.

Do you keep a spending diary?
Although you may not want to cut some things out completely, you may be able to see what your spend on that you can find a chaeaper alternative for.

Do you have a budget worked out?
It might help to arrange your finances at the start of the month so you know if you have any extra money or if you are going to struggle. It might help with some of the overspending if you know you have to be extra careful that month.

DreamerHelen

GeorgeUK wrote: »

Well done on stopping smoking.

Do you keep a spending diary?
Although you may not want to cut some things out completely, you may be able to see what your spend on that you can find a chaeaper alternative for.

Do you have a budget worked out?
It might help to arrange your finances at the start of the month so you know if you have any extra money or if you are going to struggle. It might help with some of the overspending if you know you have to be extra careful that month.

Thank you for the Congratulations on my stopping Smoking, I can't believe I didn't do it before, it's actually been really really easy for me - I keep on saying that it just shouldn't be this easy!! LoL.

I don't keep a spending Diary but I think that might be a good idea as I don't really know where all my money goes!! :rolleyes:

I DO have a Budget but because I work for myself it constantly changes, also my health issues are not great so sometimes I can't work some days that I would have worked, if that makes sense. But next Year I am determined to work a month ahead of myself so that by the end of January I have the money I need for the whole of February, that should help a great deal.

Anyway...I know it's going to be a rough road ahead. I spoke to all of my Creditors today and made arrangements to pay both November and December's Payments, which are reasonable amounts that I CAN pay...and I also paid some money off my Capital One Card which I stupidly took out, so they will stop calling me every day 3 or 4 times per day.

So, I feel pretty sorted out. But I still do stupid things - Like today, without even thinking about it I ordered Pizza, which was a whopping £14.50 that I didn't need to spend and to be honest I didn't even enjoy it, I just did it kind of automatically and I NEED to break that habit BIG-TIME as I know that a large proportion of my money goes on Takeaways...

Anyway...Here I go again...determined to make my dreams come true :T