Giving Church Money During Ceremony?

pnq06

Hi All,

Sorry if this is the wrong place but I couldn't find anywhere else to fit it in

We are off to a Christening in 2 weeks time and have just been told that we will need to bring money to put in the donation basket that comes round during the Christening which is then given to the church and a suggested donation is £20 :eek:

Now I'm not religious myself so have no idea wether this is the 'thing to do' but we're tight up as it is due to travel expenses, accommodation, outfits etc. as well as our friends asking for money for their little girls savings account.

Is this something that can be turned down? I don't think I feel comfortable spending so much money in a church which I don't know from the next?

Any help will be greatly appreciated!

Thank you

pretzelnut

HOW MUCH???:eek::eek::eek:

When we had our DS christened the church provided the service for free ( a gift from god as the vicar described it).

We asked if we could make a contribution to the church funds as a thank you and asked the vicar what he felt would be an appropriate amout.

His reply was - The service is free and all donations are welcome however big or small. We put £30 in an envelope and placed it on the plate.

When the plate is passed round it is voluntary if you would like to contribute to church funds. There is NO minimum amount.

Someone is spinning you a line.

Put as much or as little as you like on the plate. Seal it in an envelope if like us you want to keep your donation private. Even if it's 20p worth of 2p's.

We never told any of our guests that they had to contribute - in fact most hadnt been to church in such a long time that they forgot all about the donation plate - so never put anything in.

No way as a guest would we ever pay £20 just for going to church.

Usually we give the kids a bit of loose change 30p each and we put in £5.

So calm down dont panic - god will not strike you down as you exit the church if you dont donate £20.

pnq06

Phew... Thank you so much for reassuring me princesswoo xx

We've already spent so much already that we've left ourselves stupidly short for the rest of the month... I've got nothing against donating but £20 to a church that I will probably never see again seems very extreme especially when we could gift that to our friends little girl. Come to think of it, our friends have never been there either (well apart from sorting the Christening out) -they liked the 'look' of it which is a bit cheeky if I do say so myself. So giving that much money to a church that nobody knows seems even weirder

The envelope idea sounds good too- I'll dip into the change pot and pop it in an envelope just so as we're not making 'ching' noises dropping loose change on the tray That would be a wee bit embarrassing :rotfl:

Oh and the 'source' of the £20 information came from a close friend who recently went to a wedding and was told by the bride that the suggested donation was £20... I was told that they were regulars to the church so maybe they were asked to tell the guests

Thanks again, a huge weight has been lifted (Then again my daughter stole (borrowed) a pen from a shop in town the other day and I keep forgetting to take it out with me to return it- Wonder if I'll get struck down if I don't do it before )

pretzelnut

All services at a church have the same principle of donate what you feel you can afford wheter it is a wedding, christening or normal sunday service.

We couldnt pick a specific church - we had to use the one that was in our parish. There was only one.

So if they had a choice it seems right that they would go with the nicer one - although it's cheeky, i would have done the same if im honest.

Dont go mental with the christening gifts either - the amount of silver money boxes and picture frames we ended up with that are still sitting in my DS's memory box unopened. We are far from ungrateful but we just think its a waste and would have rather our guests held on to their money than feel obligued to buy something.

Write a cheque in the childs name that the parents can then add to the childs, savings trust fund account that can be used in future on something more essential and useful. Now that is a true MSE gift :rotfl:

helyg

Sounds to me as though some members of the church are getting fed up of being chosen as a "venue" because the church is pretty and so are seeing how much money they can make for the church out of the situation.

Much the same as the collection in an ordinary Sunday service you put in what you can afford.

maggie111

I have been to many church celebrations, and ordinary Sunday masses. I don't know who told you to put in £20 - surely not the parents or the vicar/priest???? Am horrified. Edit, just read it was another unconnected person who suggested it. Gosh.

Normally (in my understanding of attending Catholic services) is that a collection plate, bag, or basket gets passed round the church. A lot of people put no money in at all. I normally put a pound in per service, possibly more at Christmas? Haven't been to a celebration since the age of having to put my own money in lol - but I wouldn't put in more than a fiver, and I would certainly put something in.

Sometimes there are collection envelopes near the door, which gives you the option to make your donation tax deductable by adding in a few details - and there are people who would use this simply to collect the money they want to put in, and saves them routing it out of their handbag.

The person telling you a recommended amount is wrong. I would sincerely hope that all churches would hope people who can afford it, donate, and that people who can donate, will put only what they can afford.

Am horrified there's someone out there telling people churches expect £20 a time!!! I hope she's not put off anyone going to church lol. Perhaps this was a Church in a cash rich area for the normal amount to be so high????

Oh, and BTW - sometimes, in some churches, 2 collection plates are passed round - the second one possibly for a charity, just bear that in mind and have a 20p handy or something, they will expect the 2nd one to be met with less money lol.

auntyn

Hi there, I'm a church warden and agree with previous posters. Nobody is under any obligation whatsoever to put money in the collection plate. If I'm ever attending services other than the regular sunday service I put £1 in. I suspect what has happened is that the parents or bride and groom have been recommended to donate say £20 in lieu of a standard charge which some churches do charge for special occasions and this message has been somewhat distorted along the way.

carlislelass

just put something in a sealed envelope.

Ivrytwr3

when it was our christening the cost was 0. However, i gave the vicar £100 and guests put in what they felt comfortable with, be it 50p or £50. There is no lower or upper limit!

narabanekeater

when we had DD done on 2005 we as the parents were asked to make a donation to the church for the christening. We put 50 pounds in the envelope then onto the plate that was passed round

mrs_moneyspinner

At our Church there is no pressure and donations are just that, nothing more. In the case of visitors who are not committed to the life of the Church there is no expectation by the congregation - if those who want to give have a a 50p piece in their pocket it would be adequate I would think but your conscience should be your guide. If your Christening is during the normal service there aren't going to be any overheads specific to you apart from holy water!